Be Good to Yourself this New Month: The Art of Self Love

We were all born and celebrated as cute little bundles of joy. Then we blossom and the cuteness somewhat fades away. Then comes the bosses, colleagues, mates, boys, men, and friends. This is when the seed of self-love you’ve sowed is put to test. If you have learnt the art of self-love, then you will easily get through life.

Loving yourself more is not being greedy, selfish or unfair. We are taught to be considerate and put others first but never how to love and prepare ourselves for the journey ahead. While you can be generous and kind, it shouldn’t be with a low self-esteem.

Self-esteem, self-care, self-acceptance, self-awareness, self-empowerment, self-respect, self-compassion, self-expression and self-worth are characteristics everyone should have. Notice that these words all begin with “self”?

We need to get over the fear of the unknown and understand our worth by simply practicing self-love. Self-love is not a one-time event but an endless, ongoing process.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
– Oscar Wilde

This New month of March, let us practice self-love and enjoy the joy and happiness we give ourselves.

Feel free to share to your followers and people you love.

Your Insecurities Are Loudest In Your Own Mind

Every morning, you probably stare in the mirror longer than you should, worried something about your makeup isn’t right, worried a hair is out of place, worried you’re going to make a fool of yourself if you step out of the house looking like you do.

You probably do the same thing with social media. Before you post a picture, you probably examine every inch of your body, on the search for flaws. But no one else is going to sit there and stare at your photo for as long as you have (unless they like you and are thinking about how adorable you look).

Either way, no one else is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. No one is thinking the same harsh things you think about yourself. The rest of the world sees you differently than you see yourself. You’re not wearing the same set of lenses.

Even though you might feel like the rest of the world is looking down on you, your insecurities are the loudest in your own mind. The worst possible thing anyone could say about you has already been said by the voice in the back of your head. In a way, that’s a good thing, because it means no one else is judging you as harshly as you think they are.

However, in some ways, it’s also a horrible thing. You don’t want to play the role of your own worst enemy. You don’t want to hate yourself over a few tiny flaws when there are a million different things to love about yourself.

Even though it’s much harder to be kind to the person in the mirror than it is to be kind to others, you want to start learning how to treat yourself with love and compassion, with admiration and respect. You want to start treating yourself the way you treat your loved ones.

No, you’re not perfect — but no one is perfect. Everyone, even the person you consider the most beautiful woman in the world, has things they’re insecure about. You’re perfectly normal for feeling self-conscious. You’re allowed to be uncomfortable with certain aspects of yourself. But you shouldn’t let that discomfort turn into self-hatred. You shouldn’t punish yourself for being yourself.

You’re more beautiful than you believe, on the inside and the outside. It might take you a while to see that, but you’re going to get there as long as you put in the effort.

Stop assuming everyone is judging you. Stop assuming everyone is thinking the absolute worst about you. Even more importantly, stop thinking the worst about yourself. Stop treating yourself like a punching bag. Stop acting like you have nothing to offer this world. Stop doubting yourself. Stop selling yourself short. Stop practicing self-hatred when you should be practicing self-love.

Your insecurities aren’t as noticeable as you think. Even if someone else sees the same ‘flaw’ you see, they aren’t going to dwell on it. It’s not going to make a difference in their life. They aren’t going to give a hoot.

Much credit to Holly Riordan

You’re Not Supposed To Have Every Answer, So Stop Trying To Race To The Finish Line

Guest post.

You are not supposed to know everything right now.

You are not supposed to have every goal achieved and every decision made as quickly as you can.

You are not meant to race to the finish line of your life.

There is a pace to life that we have to honor. We cannot cut to the end of the story, we cannot demand it all at once, and we should not stress that we have not hit every milestone as early as possible.

There is a pace to life, and when we begin to see that there is a unique timing for everything, we begin to trust it more than we doubt it.

Sometimes, things don’t happen the moment we want them to because we are just not ready yet.

Sometimes, we have to learn how to handle little bits of success, so we are ready when they become massive. Sometimes, we have to learn to be okay by ourselves first, so we don’t ruin a relationship with unhealthy attachment. Sometimes, we have to learn to handle little criticisms here and there, so we’re ready when life takes off and people are really watching.

Sometimes, we just have more growing to do than we realize, and life always honors that — even if it lets you down in the moment. Just because you aren’t going as quickly as you thought does not mean you aren’t on your way.

There is no virtue to peaking too young. There is no real ambition that should culminate immediately after you’ve conceived of it. The real work is a lifelong commitment to excellence and the pursuit of a strong foundation, and a thriving soul.

You do not need to know everything that is in front of you yet.

When you set out on a road trip at night, you don’t expect your headlights to shine all the way through the darkness, miles and miles ahead of you, straight to your destination. All you can see is what is directly ahead of you, and that’s all you need to see. If you keep taking the next right step, you will arrive.

This is true even if you run into a roadblock along the way. You wouldn’t turn your car around because you couldn’t pass. You’d find another road. The same is true of your life journey.

Right now, you don’t feel lost because you actually have no idea where your life is going. You feel lost because you’re in transition. You have planted, or maybe sprouted, but not yet bloomed.

But you do not expect a bud to bloom on command. You bury its seed deeply, water it and give it light — and then you let it do what it was created to do, in its own time.

You are the exact same way.

Keep stepping forward. Take one right step, and then the next one. You do not have to have all the answers, you do not need to be your most perfect self right at this exact moment in time.

Sometimes, the growth process brings us somewhere unexpected, better than we conceived of originally. Sometimes, it delivers us right where we always wanted to be, as the people who are ready to step into the life we’ve been getting ready for.

The path is the process.

Trust it.

Credit: Brianna Weist

How To Stop Being So Lazy: 8 Simple Habits

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.” – Martin Luther

When I was younger, in my early twenties, I was often lazy.

Too often actually.

And so I didn’t:

Years later I still love lazying around and not doing much at all.

But I’ve also learned how to keep that lazy time to a moderate and healthy amount instead of letting it hold me back and stuck in the same place of excuses for years like it used to.

This week I’d like to share 10 simple habits that have helped me to make that change.
To stop being so lazy and get what really matters done by working smarter. While still having room for guilt-free lazy time to spend as I like.

1. Be kind to yourself.

When you feel that you’ve perhaps been too lazy lately it’s common and tempting to beat yourself up about it and to hope that will lead you to start taking action.

Sometimes it does. But I have found that beating yourself up most often just leads to feeling guiltier and like a failure.

And so you feel less motivated to get going and you procrastinate because there seems to be little point in even trying.

Instead of getting stuck in that self-esteem sucking place I recommend to gently nudge yourself towards the next tip in this article whenever you feel like you want to beat yourself up.

2. Start with just a small step forward.

Stop Being Lazy 2

The hardest thing is often to simply get started.

So make that as easy as you can to reduce the inner resistance and to actually take action. Start with just taking a small step forward:

  • Go out running for only 3 minutes.
  • Do the dishes for 5 minutes.
  • Write on that report you’ve been procrastinating on for 10 minutes.

I use this habit almost every day in some way.

3. Do a small part of what matters most first thing in your day.

To feel like you can enjoy your lazy/rest time fully and without guilt it’s important to actually get what truly matters in the long run done each week.

So start your day with that. But make it easy on yourself by breaking down that task into smaller steps and then focus on just the first one.

Get on it right away to get into an effective and focused mindset.

By doing so you set a good tone for your day. You get that quick 5-10 minute win in first thing and you’ll be a lot more motivated to keep going on that path during the rest of your day.

Instead of starting with busy work like checking emails – this may be vital to do first thing for some but for many it’s probably not – or checking Facebook etc. and then 30 minutes later getting started with today’s work.

4. Cycle fully focused work with small breaks of rest/lazy time.

To lighten up your daily work inject small breaks between doing short but focused burst of work.

Say to yourself: I’ll do 20 minutes of work on this task now and then I can take 5 or 10 minutes of lazy time.

By breaking down your hours like this the work seems less daunting.

And you’ll feel energetic and motivated longer and do work of better quality if you allow yourself these pauses of rest and time to lazy around on Facebook, with a game or with just relaxing in the grass or with short walk in the park.

Then, after some time, you may want to work for 40 minutes before you take a 10 minute break. But go easy on yourself at first.

5. Shut down the escape routes temporarily.

Stop Being Lazy 3

Just sitting down at for example your computer and trying to do fully focused work for 5 or 20 minutes may not result in any work of importance getting done.

Not if you don’t remove those things that you usually use to procrastinate.

So ask yourself: where do I usually escape to instead of doing my work?

For me it’s for example often my smart phone and checking my social media handles, or random internet browsing.

So I put my phone in silent mode and I put it at the other end of our home when I work. By setting up that small physical obstacle I avoid the phone trap maybe 95% of the time.

If you:

  • Have the same issue with gaming then put your controller far away in your home while working.
  • Escape to Facebook or other websites on your computer then block that for a little while by using for example StayFocusd.
  • Watch TV then pull out the cords to it. Or remove one of the cords completely and put it at the other end of your home.

6. Be OK with stumbling from time to time.

The fear of failure can hold you back in a state of doing easier things and in what you may see as being lazy.

But everyone that go for what they truly want and outside of their comfort zone stumbles and fails from time to time. That’s just a part of a life well lived (even if we don’t hear about people’s setbacks as often as their successes).

See a setback as a learning experience and as a way to be more constructive and kinder to yourself.

You can do that by asking yourself these two questions after you’ve stumbled:

  • What is that 1 thing I can learn from this situation?
  • How would my best friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? (Then talk to yourself and do things like she or he would).

7. Let the enthusiasm, energy and motivation of others in.

Whatever you let into your mind and life will influence you.

If the people you hang out the most with are generally a bit lazy about work or school then it’s easy to just adapt to that mood and way of thinking and go with it.

But if you spend more time with motivated people in real life and via books, the internet, podcasts and audio books then that will start to influence your thinking and mood too.

So think about what you let into your mind on a daily and weekly basis and if you want make a few changes to that.

8. Truly appreciate and enjoy your lazy time.

Time spent on just lazying around helps me to relax and recharge and it makes me happy.

But if I do it too much then it does become less healthy for me. It:

  • Starts to frustrate me because I’m not moving forward towards what I want.
  • Creates stress instead of relaxing me because I’m not getting what’s important done and that could have negative consequences quite soon.

Still, at a moderate amount spending some time on being lazy is truly beneficial for me.

And I’ve found that when you think a little about how you want to spend your lazy time – no matter if it’s a 10 minute break or a lazy Sunday – and use that time on something you really enjoy like reading a book you love rather than aimlessly watching TV-shows you’re just OK with then that time does not only brings more happiness and fulfillment.

I’ve also learned that when I spend my lazy time in this more conscious way I’m more motivated and energized to go back to work again later on.

So I make sure to appreciate and fully enjoy the lazy time I have and create for myself because I know that it will benefit me in several important ways.

Special appreciation to Henrik Edberg for this contributing piece.

Feel free to repost!!!

Everyone Has a Story in Life


A 24 year old boy seeing out from the train’s window shouted…
“Dad, look the trees are going behind!”
Dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behavior with pity, suddenly he again exclaimed…
“Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…
“Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?” The old man smiled and said…“I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.”
Every single person on the planet has a story. Don’t judge people before you truly know them. The truth might surprise you.

This is Not What I Envisioned for My Future

Guest post from Crystal Castillo.

“Dream Big!” That’s the message we grow up listening to. We’re encouraged to make big plans for our future. Unfortunately, though, our lives rarely unfold the way we dreamed them to.

Now don’t get me wrong, having big dreams for our lives is good! Envisioning ourselves with successful and prosperous lives is ok! Yet God desires for us to trust the process He has us in, even if our lives look different than we expected.

Trusting God with Our Future

God’s desire for us is to trust not in our circumstances but in the creator of the dreams we long for. When we trust harder rather than dream bigger, we acknowledge that God is in charge of our dreams, not us. However, if we dream big rather than trust hard, we assume our dreams and desires are up to us to fulfill.

God did not create us to depend on our own strength and ability. He intended for us to derive our strength and ability from Him alone.

Life is a Journey

I’m under 30. Some people believe that to be very young. Others think it’s the age to have your whole life figured out. I tend to believe the latter Yet I’m learning that life is a journey with each new day.

We should live life one day at a time and not rushed. Embrace one day at a time, depend on God’s daily bread, and don’t worry about tomorrow.

The Unexpected Journey

Although my life did not unfold the way I envisioned it, it has taught me a lot about God. It has taught me about His perfect plans for my life and future and for the lives of others.

I can easily blame myself for my life not unfolding the way I planned it. Sure, I could have done things differently. But at the end of the day, God is sovereign over everything. He is sovereign over the lives of His children.

Through this journey of unexpected detours and redirection, God has helped me see my circumstances from His perspective. I have learned to thank God for not allowing my plans for the future to happen the way I hoped they did. Blaming God for our situation never resolves anything.

Life’s Not Easy

Sweet friend, life was never meant to be easy. If life were easy, we wouldn’t have a reason to pursue God or seek His guidance for our lives. Furthermore, life was not meant to unfold the way we wish it did. Life was designed for us to depend on God. Even Jesus had to depend on God for the way His life would unfold.

The Bible tells us that Jesus did not want to experience the suffering of dying on the cross. In fact, He prayed to God to spare Him from having to endure the pain of being nailed on the cross. Jesus knew what was to come for Him, which is why He prayed and asked God for another way if possible. He believed that anything and everything is possible for God. Jesus was not afraid to express His fears to God.

Though Jesus prayed for an alternative route, He still prayed for God’s will to be done instead of His. God’s will was ultimately the best for all of us. And the same holds true in our own lives.

Without Jesus’s crucifixion, you and I wouldn’t have the privilege of a relationship with God the way we do. His selfless sacrifice paved the way. Jesus trusted God, and His obedience saved us from the consequences of eternal death.

Jesus is the perfect example for us to follow when we feel anxious or scared about our future. As humans, we want our life to unfold a certain way, we want a specific career, we want a certain spouse, and we want what our flesh craves – the opposite of what God wants for us.

Friend, we can trust that no matter what we go through or what our life looks like right now, God will make all things work out for us (Romans 8:28). He used Jesus’s pain and suffering to bring salvation to the world. He too will use our pain and suffering to bring glory to His name and freedom to our realm of influence.
We can rest in knowing that God’s ways are far better than what we believe is good for us.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Feel free to repost. This post can change a life today!

How To Stay Positive While Job Hunting

This is a Guest post.

You’ve just been rejected from a promising job prospect. Now, what?

If you go online and google: “How to handle job hunts,” you’ll be bombarded with messages on how to stay positive. But in that moment of rejection, positivity is the last thing you’ll be feeling, let alone be trying to achieve.

You feel frustrated, and not good enough. For a moment, you take the rejection personally. How can you not? Someone telling you that you’re not cut out for the position puts a dent in your self-esteem. So upon reading these articles on how to stay positive, you become bitter, resentful, or worse, you pretend everything is okay, and you repress those emotions of disappointment by holding them inside.

The issue with these job hunt articles is that they create an emotional dissonance because you’re feeling really bad, but they’re telling you to grin and bear it. These articles tell you to be resilient, but you don’t feel resilient in that moment; you may even feel vulnerable.

But that’s okay. Resilience is about recognizing your vulnerabilities and working through them. Don’t let an article tell you how you’re supposed to handle rejection. Handle the hurt the way you need to: vent, cry, get angry and let yourself feel. To paraphrase Morrie in the book, Tuesdays with Morrie:

“Wear your emotions like a jacket for a while; see how it feels. But when you are done, take it off.”

Staying positive is not about denying the frustration but rather acknowledging the hurt and moving on. It’s important not to let the bitter set in. Facing rejection even for the hundredth time does not make you numb to emotion; it’s normal to still feel upset.

The job hunt can get pretty frustrating. So, it’s healthy to let yourself mourn, and feel bad about not getting the position. Remember it’s not personal, it’s strictly business. But you can feel sad, and you can feel resentful. As long as you recognize that emotions can pass. Once you get past rejection, you move on and remain hopeful that the next one will be the right one.

So, what steps can you take to feel better while you’re out there job hunting?

1. Calm down for a second.

Tell the hiring manager, “Thank you for your time,” but here’s another thing I also like to ask recruiters, “Please keep me in mind for other roles should something else arise.” Remember, stay connected if you can.

2. Be angry, be annoyed, cry, be whatever you need to be for the moment.

Take your mourning period. To reach a good place, you need to get the frustrations out of your system. Complain about it to friends, treat it like you would a “date-gone-wrong.” Use that frustration for productive means. Apply to more jobs and continue to network! Whenever I get rejected from a role, I like to distract myself by applying to more openings. Ironically, it makes me hopeful again.

3. Think about it this way: if the door doesn’t open, it’s not your door.

The right role will come your way. If a hiring manager didn’t find that you were an exact fit, perhaps not getting the job is a blessing in disguise. There are two aspects to getting the job: Being the right fit for the role and the right fit for the company culture.

If they told you that you are not the right fit for the role, it just means that the hiring manager saw that your interests would not be fulfilled by this role. You try for a sales position, but they see managerial qualities in you. They know that you won’t be happy with the role, so don’t feel like you’re not good enough.

The same goes for culture fit. If the company culture does not align with yours, you wouldn’t be happy working there. For example, a company with a competitive culture saw that you were not competitive by nature. Had you gotten the role, you would have been stressed and dissatisfied. You’d be a better fit for an altruistic culture.

4. Accept that there was nothing you could have done differently.

Don’t beat yourself up if you felt that you somehow made a mistake, or said the wrong things during an interview. What’s done is done, learn from the experience, and keep it in mind for future interviews. Like I said earlier, it may feel personal, but it is just business. Don’t see this rejection as a fault in you.

5. Forgive yourself.

You did nothing wrong. Look at those interviews as good practice. You tried your best, and you’re all the better for it!

If you have any other contribution to this post. Please feel free to comment.

Considerations For 2021 By Dipo Adesina

Hope you start taking action this year, starting with the little you have.

1. ON EARNING:
Never depend on single income. Make investment to create a second chance.
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2. ON SPENDING:
If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.
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3. ON SAVINGS:
Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.
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4. ON TAKING RISK:
Your future is at the mercy of the risk you are willing to take today.
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5. ON INVESTMENT:
Do not put all eggs in one basket.
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6. ON EXPECTATIONS:
Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.
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7. Past is a waste paper, present is a newspaper, and future is a question paper. Come out of your past, control the present, and secure the future.
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8. When bad things happen in your life, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you.
_______________________________
9. Our eyes are in the front because it is more important to look ahead than to look backwards.
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10. We use pencil when we were young, but now we use pens. Do you know why? Because mistakes in childhood can easily be erased, unlike now.

Dipo Adesina.

Let’s Create a Path To Make The World a Better Place Again.


In the beginning of trying new things or hoping for a better journey, that is when storm comes by surprise.

It feels good to be back.

Last year took everyone by storm with the surprise visit of Covid-19. Starting 2020 never seem to have ended the way it did. But eventually the storm struck and almost one quarter of the world’s population died, while some are still fighting for their lives.

Why am I writing this?

I have come to understand that you can plan for the new year, but also plan for the challenges. We all pray this new year will be different and will benefit many of us. But also watch out!

A lot of people are out of jobs including myself. The weirdest thing about mine was that they terminated my contract long before I knew something was fishing. A lot of businesses shut down, food prices increased, fuel and electricity bill increased, and so much more.. But most especially loosing a loved one. 😢😥

In all, some individuals still made billions.

Now what I propose is to start finding new ideas to solving problems. A lot of people might be broke, but a lot also made some cool cash.

So I have taken it upon myself to start meditating in prayers for direction. This year will definitely be different from last year. Let’s take it upon ourselves to help one another,  communicate more, and spread positivity.

NB: Don’t look at the challenges affecting the world now, instead find a path where you can make it a better place once again. #quote by me.

I believe that we can win. 💪🙏

When You Have a Bank Account That Deposits Each Morning.

Imagine you had a bank account that deposited N86,400 each morning. The account carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day.

What would you do? Draw out every Naira each day!

We all have such a bank. Its name is Time. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever time you have failed to use wisely.

It carries over no balance from day to day. It allows no overdraft so you can’t borrow against yourself or use more time than you have.

Each day, the account starts fresh. Each night, it destroys an unused time. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, it’s your loss and you can’t appeal to get it back.

There is never any borrowing time. You can’t take a loan out on your time or against someone else’s. The time you have is the time you have and that is that.

Time management is yours to decide how you spend the time, just as with money you decide how you spend the money.

It is never the case of us not having enough time to do things, but the case of whether we want to do them and where they fall in our priorities.

Master The Art Of You’re Allowed To Admit You’re Not Okay

You’re not okay if you’re spending every single day in bed, barely moving from your room, rarely answering texts or engaging in any type of human interaction.

You’re not okay if you’re crying your eyes out every single night before you go to sleep, if you’re skipping showers almost every single morning, if you’re losing energy early in the afternoon when you’ve hardly even started your day yet.

You’re not okay if you’re always telling lies about why you’ve been acting so distant from your friends, why you’ve been locked inside your house lately, why you haven’t been in the mood to go out, why your eyes are always so red and puffy.

You’re not okay if you’ve lost interest in things you used to love, if you’ve lost energy, if you’ve lost passion, if you’ve lost the desire to roll out of bed when your alarm rings.

You’re not okay if you’ve been feeling off, like you’re not exactly yourself, like something needs to change. You’re not okay if you’re worried you’re going to feel this way forever. You’re not okay if you’re hoping thing are going to change soon.

You need to understand that not okay doesn’t mean not normal. There are so many people in this world feeling similar to how you’re feeling. You’re not alone. You’re not weird. You’re not crazy. You’re just a human going through a hard time right now.

If you’re not okay, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it, but you should do something about it. You should reach out to get the help you deserve. You should make the choice to make a lifestyle change. You should see if you can find a therapist to talk to about your situation. You should pour your energy into finding a way to cultivate happiness moving forward.

You don’t want your life to be about existing until the next day, the next hour, the next minute. You want it to be about looking forward to the next day, the next hour, the next minute. In order for that to happen, you need to find things you enjoy. You need to get excited about waking up in the morning again. You need to ask yourself what you want and how you’re going to get it.

The time to play pretend is over. It’s time to start taking care of yourself. It’s time to decide you deserve happiness. You deserve to feel proud of yourself. You deserve to wake up in the morning with energy.

When you pretend you’re okay, you’re pretending you don’t need to fix your situation. You’re pretending your mental health isn’t a priority. You’re pretending talking to someone isn’t going to help. You’re pretending you’re perfectly fine living like this day after day after day.

But you’re not okay — and it’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to start taking better care of yourself. It’s okay to decide you matter. Your happiness matters. Your well-being matters. Your life matters.

Guest post by Holly Riordan.

20.10.2020: The Massacre Of Peaceful Protesters In Lagos State Nigeria

It started as a peaceful protest to reform the Nigerian Police division SARS. But unfortunately it has led to the death of many.

The Lagos State government as refused to catch the army officers that are responsible for this killings. He has failed to give a clean approach on how this kind of terror happened around his clock. He says “The directive came from above his power”. But I ask again, who is the governor of the state?

We live in a country where fundamental human rights is not respected. We have been robbed of our voices and peaceful demonstration. The so called president we have is no better than a dead man living in a palace. He addressed the nation yesterday, but still kept us in the dark and didn’t even respond or talked about the massacre In Lekki toll gate lagos nor the army officers that were in action that day. He didn’t mention the families and loved ones killed in the peaceful protest.

What a disaster.

Its not only crazy and uncalled for to order the military to shoot at unarmed peaceful protesters, its also embarrassing for a “democracy”

They had seen nothing like it. I mean, how dare we face our oppressors? They spoke the only language they understand; violence, when we only came with our voice and our flags.


The sacrifice of the fallen heroes won’t be in vain, and may their blood be on the path of every perpetrator of this evil.

For them, we fight.


Understand That Sometimes, Successes Come Slowly

Sometimes, you won’t get the credit you feel like you deserve. Sometimes, you’re going to feel like all the hard work you’ve been putting into a project has been a waste because nobody has been around to pat you on the back or remind you what a good job you’ve been doing.

But you don’t need validation from anyone else in order to feel proud of yourself. Stop waiting around for other people to realize your value and start rewarding yourself. When you accomplish one of your goals, reward yourself with a bottle of wine or ice cream or making your favourite coffee. Make sure that, even if the rest of the world can’t see what a good job you’ve been doing, you recognize it yourself.

Sometimes, you’re not going to get the reaction you were hoping for from your friends, family, coworkers, and kids you used to know in school. Sometimes, you’re not going to impress the people you’ve been hoping to impress. Sometimes, you’re going to live through your successes quietly. That’s why you shouldn’t do anything for the sake of fitting in or looking cool. You should be doing things because they’re what you want to do, because they make you happy, because you can’t imagine having more fun doing anything else.

Sometimes, you’re not going to see all of your hard work pay off in a short amount of time. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait. Sometimes, you’re going to have to stay patient. Some successes take longer than others. You’re not always going to see results overnight. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait years for your effort to pay off — and that whole time, you’re going to have to keep faith in yourself. You’re going to have to hold onto the hope that you can do this, that you’re going to reach your destination eventually.

Sometimes, you’re to experience jealousy. You’re going to wonder why your friends are so much further ahead in their careers and relationships than you. You’re going to wonder why your bosses give more credit to other workers than you. You’re going to wonder why you haven’t reached your goals yet when other people who have been trying for shorter lengths of time are already ahead of you.

But you can never allow your jealousy to turn into mean-spiritedness. You have to stop thinking of others as your competitors and start thinking of them as your inspirations. You have to be happy for them. You have to remember that their successes are not your failures. Your journey has nothing to do with their journey.

Sometimes, your confidence is going to crash. Sometimes, you’re going to doubt your own abilities. Sometimes, you’re going to flirt with the idea of giving up. But you can never allow yourself to quit on the things that mean the most to you. You have to stay passionate, stay motivated, stay inspired, stay strong. You have to remind yourself you can do this.

Please Remember Your Instagram Isn’t Going To Flash Before Your Eyes When You Die

When you get to the end of your life, you aren’t going to be scrolling back through your posts, reminiscing.

You aren’t going to think back to the years that made you who you were and feel thankful that you were able to document them so well on a coordinating grid.

You aren’t going to replay the most important moments of your life and remember yourself pausing to make sure that you shared that dinner, that date, that trip, that achievement.

It’s not that social media isn’t important — it is. It connects us, it mobilizes us, it educates us, and it brings us together.

But it also eclipses our vision in some ways.

Specifically this one: the purpose of your life is not to have a gorgeous Instagram account. I’m sorry, but it’s not. It could be a very fortune and enjoyable perk of living the life of your dreams, but it is not, in itself, the reason why you are alive.

Don’t believe me?

Imagine if you died tomorrow, and had a few last moments to reflect on your life.

You usually don’t recall the big moments, the graduations or wedding days. In fact, what comes to mind is the ordinary things, the day to day joys of being alive. Playing with your toys when you were a kid, moving through your routine in high school, the work you were passionate about in college, sharing nameless hours together with the person you love most.

None of this is to devalue your presence online. It’s important, it’s a business for some people, and it’s really validating for others.

This is only to help you relax a bit, to let go of feeling anxious that you weren’t quite able to portray yourself as well as others. Sometimes, we can confuse this for actually not living a good life.

I am sorry to tell you this but most people who are extremely successful are not posting about every nice dinner, trip or shopping outing. Jay Z is not telling you every time he acquires a new investment; your favorite authors aren’t showing you their royalty checks; the celebrities you think you know are probably going out of their way to avoid sharing anything too personal on their own feeds.

Instagram is not real life, it is just a series of updates about life, that are often turned into art and commodity.

This is not a bad thing, but rather, a reminder that you should not waste another moment of your life trying to make your greatest ambition how well you can appear to other people.

Nobody is looking, because they’re too busy evaluating their own images.

Live your life first, and capture it second.

When you get to the end of your life, you are not going to wish you had posted to Instagram more.

In fact, in 15 years, when we’re all onto the next platform, you’ll probably look back and laugh at all the staged photos and hashtags.

Enjoy it while it’s here, but enjoy what matters most, which is your life. That has an expiration date, too.

This is a guest post and much credit to Brianna Weist.