This is Not What I Envisioned for My Future

Guest post from Crystal Castillo.

“Dream Big!” That’s the message we grow up listening to. We’re encouraged to make big plans for our future. Unfortunately, though, our lives rarely unfold the way we dreamed them to.

Now don’t get me wrong, having big dreams for our lives is good! Envisioning ourselves with successful and prosperous lives is ok! Yet God desires for us to trust the process He has us in, even if our lives look different than we expected.

Trusting God with Our Future

God’s desire for us is to trust not in our circumstances but in the creator of the dreams we long for. When we trust harder rather than dream bigger, we acknowledge that God is in charge of our dreams, not us. However, if we dream big rather than trust hard, we assume our dreams and desires are up to us to fulfill.

God did not create us to depend on our own strength and ability. He intended for us to derive our strength and ability from Him alone.

Life is a Journey

I’m under 30. Some people believe that to be very young. Others think it’s the age to have your whole life figured out. I tend to believe the latter Yet I’m learning that life is a journey with each new day.

We should live life one day at a time and not rushed. Embrace one day at a time, depend on God’s daily bread, and don’t worry about tomorrow.

The Unexpected Journey

Although my life did not unfold the way I envisioned it, it has taught me a lot about God. It has taught me about His perfect plans for my life and future and for the lives of others.

I can easily blame myself for my life not unfolding the way I planned it. Sure, I could have done things differently. But at the end of the day, God is sovereign over everything. He is sovereign over the lives of His children.

Through this journey of unexpected detours and redirection, God has helped me see my circumstances from His perspective. I have learned to thank God for not allowing my plans for the future to happen the way I hoped they did. Blaming God for our situation never resolves anything.

Life’s Not Easy

Sweet friend, life was never meant to be easy. If life were easy, we wouldn’t have a reason to pursue God or seek His guidance for our lives. Furthermore, life was not meant to unfold the way we wish it did. Life was designed for us to depend on God. Even Jesus had to depend on God for the way His life would unfold.

The Bible tells us that Jesus did not want to experience the suffering of dying on the cross. In fact, He prayed to God to spare Him from having to endure the pain of being nailed on the cross. Jesus knew what was to come for Him, which is why He prayed and asked God for another way if possible. He believed that anything and everything is possible for God. Jesus was not afraid to express His fears to God.

Though Jesus prayed for an alternative route, He still prayed for God’s will to be done instead of His. God’s will was ultimately the best for all of us. And the same holds true in our own lives.

Without Jesus’s crucifixion, you and I wouldn’t have the privilege of a relationship with God the way we do. His selfless sacrifice paved the way. Jesus trusted God, and His obedience saved us from the consequences of eternal death.

Jesus is the perfect example for us to follow when we feel anxious or scared about our future. As humans, we want our life to unfold a certain way, we want a specific career, we want a certain spouse, and we want what our flesh craves – the opposite of what God wants for us.

Friend, we can trust that no matter what we go through or what our life looks like right now, God will make all things work out for us (Romans 8:28). He used Jesus’s pain and suffering to bring salvation to the world. He too will use our pain and suffering to bring glory to His name and freedom to our realm of influence.
We can rest in knowing that God’s ways are far better than what we believe is good for us.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Feel free to repost. This post can change a life today!

How To Stay Positive While Job Hunting

This is a Guest post.

You’ve just been rejected from a promising job prospect. Now, what?

If you go online and google: “How to handle job hunts,” you’ll be bombarded with messages on how to stay positive. But in that moment of rejection, positivity is the last thing you’ll be feeling, let alone be trying to achieve.

You feel frustrated, and not good enough. For a moment, you take the rejection personally. How can you not? Someone telling you that you’re not cut out for the position puts a dent in your self-esteem. So upon reading these articles on how to stay positive, you become bitter, resentful, or worse, you pretend everything is okay, and you repress those emotions of disappointment by holding them inside.

The issue with these job hunt articles is that they create an emotional dissonance because you’re feeling really bad, but they’re telling you to grin and bear it. These articles tell you to be resilient, but you don’t feel resilient in that moment; you may even feel vulnerable.

But that’s okay. Resilience is about recognizing your vulnerabilities and working through them. Don’t let an article tell you how you’re supposed to handle rejection. Handle the hurt the way you need to: vent, cry, get angry and let yourself feel. To paraphrase Morrie in the book, Tuesdays with Morrie:

“Wear your emotions like a jacket for a while; see how it feels. But when you are done, take it off.”

Staying positive is not about denying the frustration but rather acknowledging the hurt and moving on. It’s important not to let the bitter set in. Facing rejection even for the hundredth time does not make you numb to emotion; it’s normal to still feel upset.

The job hunt can get pretty frustrating. So, it’s healthy to let yourself mourn, and feel bad about not getting the position. Remember it’s not personal, it’s strictly business. But you can feel sad, and you can feel resentful. As long as you recognize that emotions can pass. Once you get past rejection, you move on and remain hopeful that the next one will be the right one.

So, what steps can you take to feel better while you’re out there job hunting?

1. Calm down for a second.

Tell the hiring manager, “Thank you for your time,” but here’s another thing I also like to ask recruiters, “Please keep me in mind for other roles should something else arise.” Remember, stay connected if you can.

2. Be angry, be annoyed, cry, be whatever you need to be for the moment.

Take your mourning period. To reach a good place, you need to get the frustrations out of your system. Complain about it to friends, treat it like you would a “date-gone-wrong.” Use that frustration for productive means. Apply to more jobs and continue to network! Whenever I get rejected from a role, I like to distract myself by applying to more openings. Ironically, it makes me hopeful again.

3. Think about it this way: if the door doesn’t open, it’s not your door.

The right role will come your way. If a hiring manager didn’t find that you were an exact fit, perhaps not getting the job is a blessing in disguise. There are two aspects to getting the job: Being the right fit for the role and the right fit for the company culture.

If they told you that you are not the right fit for the role, it just means that the hiring manager saw that your interests would not be fulfilled by this role. You try for a sales position, but they see managerial qualities in you. They know that you won’t be happy with the role, so don’t feel like you’re not good enough.

The same goes for culture fit. If the company culture does not align with yours, you wouldn’t be happy working there. For example, a company with a competitive culture saw that you were not competitive by nature. Had you gotten the role, you would have been stressed and dissatisfied. You’d be a better fit for an altruistic culture.

4. Accept that there was nothing you could have done differently.

Don’t beat yourself up if you felt that you somehow made a mistake, or said the wrong things during an interview. What’s done is done, learn from the experience, and keep it in mind for future interviews. Like I said earlier, it may feel personal, but it is just business. Don’t see this rejection as a fault in you.

5. Forgive yourself.

You did nothing wrong. Look at those interviews as good practice. You tried your best, and you’re all the better for it!

If you have any other contribution to this post. Please feel free to comment.

Considerations For 2021 By Dipo Adesina

Hope you start taking action this year, starting with the little you have.

1. ON EARNING:
Never depend on single income. Make investment to create a second chance.
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2. ON SPENDING:
If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.
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3. ON SAVINGS:
Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.
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4. ON TAKING RISK:
Your future is at the mercy of the risk you are willing to take today.
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5. ON INVESTMENT:
Do not put all eggs in one basket.
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6. ON EXPECTATIONS:
Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.
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7. Past is a waste paper, present is a newspaper, and future is a question paper. Come out of your past, control the present, and secure the future.
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8. When bad things happen in your life, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you.
_______________________________
9. Our eyes are in the front because it is more important to look ahead than to look backwards.
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10. We use pencil when we were young, but now we use pens. Do you know why? Because mistakes in childhood can easily be erased, unlike now.

Dipo Adesina.

Let’s Create a Path To Make The World a Better Place Again.


In the beginning of trying new things or hoping for a better journey, that is when storm comes by surprise.

It feels good to be back.

Last year took everyone by storm with the surprise visit of Covid-19. Starting 2020 never seem to have ended the way it did. But eventually the storm struck and almost one quarter of the world’s population died, while some are still fighting for their lives.

Why am I writing this?

I have come to understand that you can plan for the new year, but also plan for the challenges. We all pray this new year will be different and will benefit many of us. But also watch out!

A lot of people are out of jobs including myself. The weirdest thing about mine was that they terminated my contract long before I knew something was fishing. A lot of businesses shut down, food prices increased, fuel and electricity bill increased, and so much more.. But most especially loosing a loved one. 😢😥

In all, some individuals still made billions.

Now what I propose is to start finding new ideas to solving problems. A lot of people might be broke, but a lot also made some cool cash.

So I have taken it upon myself to start meditating in prayers for direction. This year will definitely be different from last year. Let’s take it upon ourselves to help one another,  communicate more, and spread positivity.

NB: Don’t look at the challenges affecting the world now, instead find a path where you can make it a better place once again. #quote by me.

I believe that we can win. 💪🙏

When You Have a Bank Account That Deposits Each Morning.

Imagine you had a bank account that deposited N86,400 each morning. The account carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day.

What would you do? Draw out every Naira each day!

We all have such a bank. Its name is Time. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever time you have failed to use wisely.

It carries over no balance from day to day. It allows no overdraft so you can’t borrow against yourself or use more time than you have.

Each day, the account starts fresh. Each night, it destroys an unused time. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, it’s your loss and you can’t appeal to get it back.

There is never any borrowing time. You can’t take a loan out on your time or against someone else’s. The time you have is the time you have and that is that.

Time management is yours to decide how you spend the time, just as with money you decide how you spend the money.

It is never the case of us not having enough time to do things, but the case of whether we want to do them and where they fall in our priorities.

Master The Art Of You’re Allowed To Admit You’re Not Okay

You’re not okay if you’re spending every single day in bed, barely moving from your room, rarely answering texts or engaging in any type of human interaction.

You’re not okay if you’re crying your eyes out every single night before you go to sleep, if you’re skipping showers almost every single morning, if you’re losing energy early in the afternoon when you’ve hardly even started your day yet.

You’re not okay if you’re always telling lies about why you’ve been acting so distant from your friends, why you’ve been locked inside your house lately, why you haven’t been in the mood to go out, why your eyes are always so red and puffy.

You’re not okay if you’ve lost interest in things you used to love, if you’ve lost energy, if you’ve lost passion, if you’ve lost the desire to roll out of bed when your alarm rings.

You’re not okay if you’ve been feeling off, like you’re not exactly yourself, like something needs to change. You’re not okay if you’re worried you’re going to feel this way forever. You’re not okay if you’re hoping thing are going to change soon.

You need to understand that not okay doesn’t mean not normal. There are so many people in this world feeling similar to how you’re feeling. You’re not alone. You’re not weird. You’re not crazy. You’re just a human going through a hard time right now.

If you’re not okay, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it, but you should do something about it. You should reach out to get the help you deserve. You should make the choice to make a lifestyle change. You should see if you can find a therapist to talk to about your situation. You should pour your energy into finding a way to cultivate happiness moving forward.

You don’t want your life to be about existing until the next day, the next hour, the next minute. You want it to be about looking forward to the next day, the next hour, the next minute. In order for that to happen, you need to find things you enjoy. You need to get excited about waking up in the morning again. You need to ask yourself what you want and how you’re going to get it.

The time to play pretend is over. It’s time to start taking care of yourself. It’s time to decide you deserve happiness. You deserve to feel proud of yourself. You deserve to wake up in the morning with energy.

When you pretend you’re okay, you’re pretending you don’t need to fix your situation. You’re pretending your mental health isn’t a priority. You’re pretending talking to someone isn’t going to help. You’re pretending you’re perfectly fine living like this day after day after day.

But you’re not okay — and it’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to start taking better care of yourself. It’s okay to decide you matter. Your happiness matters. Your well-being matters. Your life matters.

Guest post by Holly Riordan.

20.10.2020: The Massacre Of Peaceful Protesters In Lagos State Nigeria

It started as a peaceful protest to reform the Nigerian Police division SARS. But unfortunately it has led to the death of many.

The Lagos State government as refused to catch the army officers that are responsible for this killings. He has failed to give a clean approach on how this kind of terror happened around his clock. He says “The directive came from above his power”. But I ask again, who is the governor of the state?

We live in a country where fundamental human rights is not respected. We have been robbed of our voices and peaceful demonstration. The so called president we have is no better than a dead man living in a palace. He addressed the nation yesterday, but still kept us in the dark and didn’t even respond or talked about the massacre In Lekki toll gate lagos nor the army officers that were in action that day. He didn’t mention the families and loved ones killed in the peaceful protest.

What a disaster.

Its not only crazy and uncalled for to order the military to shoot at unarmed peaceful protesters, its also embarrassing for a “democracy”

They had seen nothing like it. I mean, how dare we face our oppressors? They spoke the only language they understand; violence, when we only came with our voice and our flags.


The sacrifice of the fallen heroes won’t be in vain, and may their blood be on the path of every perpetrator of this evil.

For them, we fight.


Understand That Sometimes, Successes Come Slowly

Sometimes, you won’t get the credit you feel like you deserve. Sometimes, you’re going to feel like all the hard work you’ve been putting into a project has been a waste because nobody has been around to pat you on the back or remind you what a good job you’ve been doing.

But you don’t need validation from anyone else in order to feel proud of yourself. Stop waiting around for other people to realize your value and start rewarding yourself. When you accomplish one of your goals, reward yourself with a bottle of wine or ice cream or making your favourite coffee. Make sure that, even if the rest of the world can’t see what a good job you’ve been doing, you recognize it yourself.

Sometimes, you’re not going to get the reaction you were hoping for from your friends, family, coworkers, and kids you used to know in school. Sometimes, you’re not going to impress the people you’ve been hoping to impress. Sometimes, you’re going to live through your successes quietly. That’s why you shouldn’t do anything for the sake of fitting in or looking cool. You should be doing things because they’re what you want to do, because they make you happy, because you can’t imagine having more fun doing anything else.

Sometimes, you’re not going to see all of your hard work pay off in a short amount of time. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait. Sometimes, you’re going to have to stay patient. Some successes take longer than others. You’re not always going to see results overnight. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait years for your effort to pay off — and that whole time, you’re going to have to keep faith in yourself. You’re going to have to hold onto the hope that you can do this, that you’re going to reach your destination eventually.

Sometimes, you’re to experience jealousy. You’re going to wonder why your friends are so much further ahead in their careers and relationships than you. You’re going to wonder why your bosses give more credit to other workers than you. You’re going to wonder why you haven’t reached your goals yet when other people who have been trying for shorter lengths of time are already ahead of you.

But you can never allow your jealousy to turn into mean-spiritedness. You have to stop thinking of others as your competitors and start thinking of them as your inspirations. You have to be happy for them. You have to remember that their successes are not your failures. Your journey has nothing to do with their journey.

Sometimes, your confidence is going to crash. Sometimes, you’re going to doubt your own abilities. Sometimes, you’re going to flirt with the idea of giving up. But you can never allow yourself to quit on the things that mean the most to you. You have to stay passionate, stay motivated, stay inspired, stay strong. You have to remind yourself you can do this.

Please Remember Your Instagram Isn’t Going To Flash Before Your Eyes When You Die

When you get to the end of your life, you aren’t going to be scrolling back through your posts, reminiscing.

You aren’t going to think back to the years that made you who you were and feel thankful that you were able to document them so well on a coordinating grid.

You aren’t going to replay the most important moments of your life and remember yourself pausing to make sure that you shared that dinner, that date, that trip, that achievement.

It’s not that social media isn’t important — it is. It connects us, it mobilizes us, it educates us, and it brings us together.

But it also eclipses our vision in some ways.

Specifically this one: the purpose of your life is not to have a gorgeous Instagram account. I’m sorry, but it’s not. It could be a very fortune and enjoyable perk of living the life of your dreams, but it is not, in itself, the reason why you are alive.

Don’t believe me?

Imagine if you died tomorrow, and had a few last moments to reflect on your life.

You usually don’t recall the big moments, the graduations or wedding days. In fact, what comes to mind is the ordinary things, the day to day joys of being alive. Playing with your toys when you were a kid, moving through your routine in high school, the work you were passionate about in college, sharing nameless hours together with the person you love most.

None of this is to devalue your presence online. It’s important, it’s a business for some people, and it’s really validating for others.

This is only to help you relax a bit, to let go of feeling anxious that you weren’t quite able to portray yourself as well as others. Sometimes, we can confuse this for actually not living a good life.

I am sorry to tell you this but most people who are extremely successful are not posting about every nice dinner, trip or shopping outing. Jay Z is not telling you every time he acquires a new investment; your favorite authors aren’t showing you their royalty checks; the celebrities you think you know are probably going out of their way to avoid sharing anything too personal on their own feeds.

Instagram is not real life, it is just a series of updates about life, that are often turned into art and commodity.

This is not a bad thing, but rather, a reminder that you should not waste another moment of your life trying to make your greatest ambition how well you can appear to other people.

Nobody is looking, because they’re too busy evaluating their own images.

Live your life first, and capture it second.

When you get to the end of your life, you are not going to wish you had posted to Instagram more.

In fact, in 15 years, when we’re all onto the next platform, you’ll probably look back and laugh at all the staged photos and hashtags.

Enjoy it while it’s here, but enjoy what matters most, which is your life. That has an expiration date, too.

This is a guest post and much credit to Brianna Weist.

Video Game Addiction: Can an Addiction Have a Positive Side?

Hey guys!

Been a while I posted on this platform. Am happy to be back and consistent. A quick question for you guys today..

What do you think about the topic today?

Video games are dangerous to your mental health and will make you become an addict. Do you believe that? Of course, we hear this repeated time and time again about videogame addiction, and it’s even gotten into a manual of psychiatric disorders, but should it be there?

Repeatedly saying video gaming is an addiction, doesn’t make it so. There are several contradictions that we must consider about video games and addictions.

If video gaming is an addiction, there is a huge number of people with it because “The…number of video gamers worldwide in 2018, broken down by region, (indicates)…there were over 1.23 billion gamers in Asia Pacific in 2018, with the region generating $71.4 billion of revenue in the same year.”

There were over 1.23 billion gamers Asia Pacific in 2018 raised the estimate. “There are approximately 2.2 billion gamers in the world. Out of the estimated 7.6 billion people living on earth, as of July 2018, that means almost a third of people on this planet are gamers.” Video gaming is a big business and enjoyed worldwide.

Addictions and playing video games, according to a significant review of the research, are not the same. Yes, there are certain things which they both share.

One thing they both share is that they stimulate a person to want to engage in the activity because it is pleasurable. Regarding the games, who doesn’t want to win and show that they can compete effectively with people all over the world?

Millions of gamers are playing each other throughout the day and the night. The internet is abuzz with their efforts to win points, raise to higher levels, or open secret doors. Wouldn’t you want that?

It doesn’t matter what your age is, because video games can be very pleasurable activities, especially in a profoundly troubling world. The escape aspect is part of the notion that the games are addictive.

Video gaming’s positive effects

Not all video games are based on violence and destruction, and it is here that we must make a distinction. Games can be exciting and require skills in anticipating goals and planning how to reach those goals. They can also include design elements when there are pieces that must fit into geometric patterns.

Games can also encourage cooperative behavior toward other players. Altruism has been found in some of the research that has been reviewed over the years. When playing games that promote positive response with others, there is a halo effect that carries on after the game.

Games can also engage children and adults in developing finer hand-eye coordination and the use of a controller. Vision also benefits because many of the games require a high degree of visual alertness. Surveying the landscape in the game leads to more acute visual perception, as studies have shown.

Gameplaying also involves repeated actions that will strengthen brain cell connections. What does this mean in plain English? Memory and learning are enhanced as a result of these actions.

Reaction time is enhanced. Gameplaying requires real-time action that activates areas of the brain controlling sensory movement. In other words, you learn to react physically in a faster manner to make a response to the game.

Video games effect on the brain

There is an actual physical change in the brain after game playing. If we could weigh the brains of gamers, we would be able to quantify how the games added some additional brain weight. And brain weight can equal added abilities, increased memory and warding off late-life cognitive decline.

A study of frequent game players showed that certain part of the brain involved in decision-making are most affected, and that makes sense. You are making rapid decisions during the game, and that’s what you may have to do in your daily life, so game playing is preparation.

Games require logical thinking and help in decision-making not only while playing the game but afterward. This is called “sticky ” learning that will last and be utilized in other actions in the future. Gameplaying, including any game that involves firing a weapon, can enhance cognitive control and planning.

Gameplaying involves the brain releasing the “happiness hormone,” dopamine, which is involved in receiving a reward. It is this reward that is involved in gamers’ wanting to continue gameplaying, and that’s where some have indicated it is an addiction.

Rewards are not necessarily addictions, however. Do students become addicted to attending school if they’re getting good grades? Some might, but the majority don’t skip off to school each morning.

The educational component

Not all video games are based on violence and destruction. And it is here that we must make a distinction. Games can be exciting and educational and require skills in anticipating goals and planning how to reach those goals.

Memory skills can be improved if the game is developed in that direction.

The game can be whatever the coder wants it to be. Herein lies the educational challenge. If kids love video games, there’s the educator’s entre to helping them learn and develop that stickiness that is so important.

Are video games dangerous? Some might be for a select group of gamers. Are they addictive? Yes, but it can be a positive form of “addiction” that will encourage mental development.

A wise man once told me that we learn a lot from different things. Things that society or our parents see as distractions.

Yes!

You can get motivated by playing video games or even watching movies. It depends on how you analyse what you visualise and make good use of the result.

Source: Dr. Patricia Farrell

Bata Nigeria Opens Biggest Footwear Store in Port Harcourt Nigeria

This is a sponsored post.

Bata Nigeria is set to launch its Port Harcourt store on saturday 29th August 2020 with celebrity guest Seyi Awolowo.

Seyi Awolowo

A HISTORIC COMEBACK

Nigerians are proud and acknowledge the good works we are putting in developing the nation.

Shoe import in Nigeria will drastically reduce as the Bata factory is active in Abuja Nigeria, producing up to 500,000 shoes annually. Some raw materials are sourced in-country and about 100 are employed directly in production.

This is a historic comeback and the brand recognition has helped its return.

Bata resumed business in Nigeria some few years back with two locations in Circle Mall Lagos and Silverbird Mall Abuja.

Now Bata is launching it’s 3rd store in Portharcourt on saturday 29th August 2020 which is considered to be the largest footwear store at the moment in Nigeria.

You are all welcome to experience a grand opening you will never forget. Tag a friend along, and tell your families.

You can shop online and get it delivered to you nationwide.

Social Post

Bata is back and better.

9 Common Stereotypes When It Comes To Your Lazy, Unproductive Days

This is a guest post.

1. You’re allowed to relax. You don’t want to make a habit out of slacking — but you don’t want to turn into a massive workaholic either. You’re allowed to relax every once in a while. You’re allowed to enjoy yourself. You’re allowed to have a life outside of your career.

2. Stress is dangerous. You don’t want to push yourself to the brink of exhaustion. You don’t want to pile on responsibilities until you’re crushed by your own stress. You have to take care of yourself. You can’t keep pushing your mental health aside in order to focus on your workload. Your mind matters. If you push yourself too far, you won’t get anything done.

3. Productivity doesn’t always mean what you think it means. You might think you’re being unproductive on weekends when you don’t leave the house, but that might not be entirely true. Texting your friends to check in on them is productive. Catching up on reading is productive. Giving yourself a break from your stress, so you don’t end up having a complete meltdown, is productive.

4. You’re not worthless for lounging around all day. How much you accomplish each day doesn’t correlate to your value. It doesn’t make you a better or worse person. You have to stop placing so much emphasis on success. Happiness matters more.

5. It’s okay to say no. You can’t please everyone. You can’t put a million different things on your plate at once. If you aren’t able to help someone with a favor or work extra hours to impress your boss, that’s okay. You’re allowed to say no.

6. You still have plenty of time to reach your goals. You might feel like you’re getting old, like time is running out, like you should have reached your goals by now. But you can’t rush success. You can’t let yourself become too impatient. You still have plenty of time to reach all your goals, plenty of time to make yourself proud.

7. You deserve a reward. Maybe today is going to be a lazy day — but you deserve a lazy day. Think about how hectic yesterday was. Think about how much work you got done last week. Think of how much you’ve accomplished over the course of this year. Don’t you deserve a day off? You’ve done more than you give yourself credit for, more than enough to earn a little me time.

8. You are meant to do more than work, eat, and sleep. You’re meant to have fun. You’re meant to travel, to make friends, to pick up new hobbies, to watch new movies, to explore this universe. Work isn’t supposed to be your entire life. It’s only supposed to be a part of your life.

9. You’re not a machine. You’re human. Not every single day is going to be a productive day. There are times when you’re going to have to let yourself relax and recharge. Otherwise, you’re going to self-destruct. So do yourself a favor and stop blaming yourself for being lazy. Let yourself enjoy it. At least for a little while.

Special thanks to Holly Riordan.

The Truth About Changing Your Life Is That It Is Often Means Doing Less, Not More

The beginning of a self-transformation requires action, but the end of it requires something deeper, something harder, something you’ve probably never realized before.

While doing more will almost always generate results, there’s an untapped, life-changing magic in doing less.

Sometimes, your problems don’t come from what you’re not doing, they come from what you can’t stop doing.

To really change your life, you probably need to consume less. You probably need to learn to use what you have, to take a breath and stop yourself every time you think you need that one new perfect thing that will magically transform you into a new person.

You probably need to spend less. You probably need to reevaluate your patterns and behaviors and refocus on your long-term goals, prioritizing your future comfort over your immediate gratification.

You probably need to engage less, both with people who are not mentally mature and people whom do not have any intention of having a civil discourse with you. This is not because you can’t speak freely, but because having an exchange with someone whose intent is to fight you rather than connect with you will always be a losing situation.

You probably need to change less. When we start out on our healing journey, it’s about uprooting, replanting, and sprouting. But if you’re unhealed beneath the surface, you won’t be able to lay roots without wanting to rip them out again. Healing, you will find, is not about how many times you can start over, it is whether to not you can bloom.

You probably need to care less. When your mind is consumed with trying to master and perfect every single little thing in your life, you get overwhelmed and give up. Instead, you have to focus on the few things that are actually requiring your attention, and then build from there.

You probably need to do less. Not because you shouldn’t be productive, but because you only have so much energy in a day, and when you spend it on things you don’t really care much about, you find yourself constantly exhausted, drained and at your wit’s end.

You probably need to have fewer expectations. Often, we conflate that with having high standards, but they aren’t the same thing. Unrealistic expectations will slowly wreck you, because they require that you achieve perfection immediately. When your expectation is that you should be a natural-born master of whatever you try to do, it becomes really hard to show up and do the work consistently, which is what you actually have to do to achieve mastery.

You probably need to not try so hard. When you try to force people to like you, it usually has the opposite effect. When you try to convince yourself you’re attractive, you usually seem less so. When you are trying to force every outcome in your life, there’s usually a reason they aren’t coming together on their own.

You probably need to give fewer excuses. Not because you’re going to be unkind to yourself, but because the kindest thing you can possibly do is stop avoiding the honest truth about what’s wrong. You cannot keep trying to positive-self-talk your way into thinking you love your life when you do not. When we’re ready to make fewer justifications, it means we’re also ready to make greater change.

The truth about doing less is that it’s going to bring you into stillness. It is going to require you to face that discomfort you’ve been running from head-on.

The truth is that when we first realize we need to change our lives, it is easy to get swept away in the escape fantasy of it all. Everything has to go, and nothing can stay. There’s an addictive quality to starting over, and if you’re not careful, you can confuse it for actually healing.

Truly getting better is learning to be okay where you are, wherever you are. It is actually metabolizing that discomfort for once, listening to it, letting it show you where you are deeply misaligned.

It is to become grounded, to make positive decisions for the long-term, to start breaking those destructive habits that have been fueled by the pain you haven’t quite had a name for all these years.

It is to no longer be controlled by your feelings, but by your ambitions, by your dreams for the future.

When you go about changing your life, sometimes, the most radical shift of all is to do absolutely nothing — and wait for the sun to rise.