Today’s Nugget: Get Real

Hey guys!

Everything I post on this platform is a true life experience and story I share. Even in the midst of the storm, I still try to keep myself positive and also share with others how we can all overcome anger, disappointment, and challenges.

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

We must accept that you might fail when you try your best and still don’t win, at least you can be satisfied that you’ve tried. If you don’t accept failure as a possibility, you don’t set high goals, you don’t branch out, you don’t try- you don’t take the risk.

Be realistic about what you can do and what you can’t do. So whatever you do must really worth it.

Credit to: Queen Latifah, Rosalynn Carter, and Marilu Henner.

True Story: Battling Addiction is a Life-Long and Difficult Struggle- Ben Affleck

silhouette of man standing on mountain peak

We all have that one thing we are addicted to. No addiction is small nor big. So far, it affects us one way or the other, it is bad. Addiction can take a lot from us but it’s best we find a solution and try to quit the habit. It is not an easy ride but eventually, it is worth the battle.

Ben Affleck is a Hollywood superstar. Ben Affleck’s life story is a motivational one for all the people fighting their addiction. He understands the difficult struggle, a dedicated person goes through to get rid of their addiction. Ben Affleck’s life story with his wife Jennifer garner can be an inspiration for you and might light a spark in you to change and improve your life for the better.

It is hard for one to put up with an addicted person. But it takes courage and support to help them mentally and physically. Ben Affleck’s ex-wife Jennifer watched him suffer for 13 years. She reportedly seemed visibly shaken after meeting with Affleck.

His drinking problem had become life or death. They have really worked on their marriage and they just couldn’t do it anymore. These words spread all around.

I never thought I was going to get divorced. I didn’t want to get divorced. I really did not want to be a split family. It was quite upsetting because it meant I wasn’t who I thought I was, and that was so disappointing and so painful, and people’s reaction about am I serious about my recovery? was absolute not. They advised Jenn to set her boundaries.  I really don’t want my children to pay for what I did. You’re trying to do right by your kids and you’re trying to protect them. You could tell you still love her when you just talked about her- Ben

Jennifer supported me in every step. “You know It’s bad enough absolutely. It’s hard enough.” Jennifer to the paparazzi.

Jennifer always wanted to raise a happy family like her parents. How could she give their kids that feeling and freedom and joy? but after her first marriage fell apart, Jennifer thought she’d missed her chance.

So, when Jennifer fell for Ben Affleck, she finally got her second chance at true love and when they got married a year later, Jennifer vowed she would make it work no matter what. How things are going mommyhood is going. It’s like the most, it just gets better and better for the next decade, Jennifer and Ben were Hollywood’s IT couple. Jennifer helped Ben clean up his playboy image and focus on his work. Ben Affleck, Argo.

I, always and still thank my wife for being the reason I’m standing here, I adore her, I love her so much. She is my everything. I thank her for working on our marriage for 10 Christmases. It’s work, but it is the best kind of work and there’s no one other than Jennifer, I’d rather work with. They looked like the picture-perfect family on the outside but ben’s long battle with sobriety had taken a dark turn.

Jennifer tried desperately to cling to the broken marriage, but it was too late.

In 2015, the couple announced their separation.

She realized, “I can’t go down this rabbit hole.” She just shut it all out. I was like “you don’t care about me, how could you not care for us?” she’s like, “no, actually it’s the opposite. I care too much, it’s too painful.”

But little did we know, it was about to get much worse. what was the hardest thing for you to be honest with yourself about? That I was going to get divorced. I never thought I was going to get divorced, and I didn’t want to get divorced. I didn’t want to be the worst person,  I really didn’t want to be a split family.

The collapse of his marriage sent Ben down a dangerous path he was spotted receiving what looked like delivery of beer and whiskey at his home. It quite upsetting for me because it meant I wasn’t who I thought I was, and that was so painful and so disappointing.

Still feeling responsible, Jennifer rushed to Ben’s side Jennifer refused to give up on Ben because she knew her children needed their father.

You can’t buy parenting, you have to get down on the floor and play. Even if you’re a super busy mom or dad, you have to find time for your kids. She lost the dream of dancing with me at our daughter’s wedding, and if you see your kids love someone so purely and wholly then you’re going to be friends with that person.

But no matter how hard she tried, Jennifer couldn’t fix it. I was totally manipulating the rehab. 8:30 this morning I left the treatment center to play a 3 hour game of basketball. Garner reportedly seemed visibly shaken after meeting with me.

After sticking by me for 13 years, Jennifer finally had to let go and that turned out to be exactly what I needed to stand on my own. I really don’t want my children to pay for what I had done. Or to be afraid for me.

I don’t really have a choice. I have to be the man I want to be at this point. I don’t have any more room for failure of that kind.

Without Jennifer to lean on, I was forced to take responsibility. There are things that I would love to go back and change. I have regrets. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, some big, some small.

Once I had finally accepted my past, I could focus on my future:

Becoming the man Jennifer always believed I could be. I took the last half of the year off and I just got to be a dad. Drive them to school, pick them up, go to the swim meet, that’s where the parenting happens. It’s in the cracks, it’s in the moments where you’re just taking them back from soccer and they say something profound or they talk about how they’re really feeling about something. That’s the joy of it and that’s what I don’t want to miss.

Today, I continue to work on myself while putting my children before anything else and Jennifer may not have the marriage she always dreamed of but her children have the parents they need.

Addiction has its consequences that affect people around us.

The story ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner shows us that everyone makes mistakes but when you’re a parent, nothing comes before the safety and happiness of your children.

If you can just have faith in who you are and who they are as people, it’s so beautiful when you see it starting to come out.  you could tell you still love her when you just talked about her. Of course, she’s wonderful. you know, somebody who’s the mother of your kids, they’re going to be the most important central person in your life. That’s really admirable how you and Ben Affleck have both, it’s all about children first and being a team.

It has to be.

NB: Don’t get addicted to things. If you see a sign at an early stage, please try to prevent it. If not, it becomes a struggle. Everyone has one.

Don’t judge, be the solution.

Today’s Nugget: Learn To Accept The Imperfect

person hands with green paint

Needing everything to be perfect in order to make you happy is a quick route to being unhappy most of the time. If you are only ever happy with perfection, then you will severely limit your chances of being happy since perfection, in anything, is difficult to achieve; expecting everything in your life to be perfect, is near impossible. So does this mean that you will have to lower your standards in order to be happy? Happily, it doesn’t. Your standards can be set as high as you wish, but what you will need to learn to adjust is where you set your sights. Having high standards is all well and good, but needing everything to be 100 percent correct can quickly provide a tangible barrier to happiness. Accepting that very little is, in fact, perfect, and setting your sights just a little lower, means that you will achieve your aims much more of the time.

Why We Love To Choose To Be Thankful In The Challenges—That’s Where You Grow And You Should, Too!

I remembered when I was young, my aunty and teacher in school asked us a question on what we wanted to be when we grew up. At the time, I was bursting with dreams—a pilot, a soldier, a police officer, an Aeronotic Engineer and so on. Of all the items on the list, though, there was one theme. When I grew up, most of all, I wanted to be happy.

And so I put it on the back of mind to work towards what I want to become. The options waa many, but in all what makes me happy matters — a promise to my future self. That scribbled word was a goal, a mindset I would work towards, regardless of the obstacles along the way.

Years later, and more or less ‘grown up,’ I think about what I said I will become often. I think about how it has followed me through the turbulence of my teenage years, the chaos of the university, and into adulthood, where honestly, being happy seems like the most important conscious choice I can make.

Being happy, I’ve realized is not something you can pinpoint, grab between your fingertips, or keep. It’s more abstract than we give it credit for. We search as if we’re able to discover it, obtain it, hold it in our palms—but sometimes it’s so beautifully transient.

And sometimes happiness is not really a ‘thing’ at all, but a decision. Deciding to live with a spirit of gratitude. Choosing to be thankful, to see the bright side, to love and smile and have hope, regardless of what’s in the way. Accepting that you cannot change everything, but you can adapt your attitude. And letting yourself heal.

Happiness comes from finding peace with where you are. Not because it’s exactly where you wanted to be. Not because you have everything you could ever need. Not because you are wealthy, or in love, or doing better than the person next to you.

Happiness comes for no reason at all, other than because you decide you want it there.

You decide to create it, to make it, to build it out of the circumstances around you. You decide to open the door to it, to let it in, and then to foster its growth in your life, no matter what good or bad moments you face.

You decide that you want to live positively—bringing in good energy and people and moments and exhaling all that is out of your control. You decide that when terrible things happen to you, when you’re broken, when you lose people you love, when you’re left, when you’re exhausted or defeated or angry, that instead of letting the circumstances of this life control you, you want to react with a smile on your face. You choose to say, ‘I can’t change what has happened, but I can change my reaction, my next breath, next step, and where I go next.’

And you walk forward, focusing not on what you’ve lost or has been taken from you, but the knowledge you’ve gained, the love you’ve created, the strength you’ve found, the hope you’ve given yourself, and the wealth of things, people, memories, and moments you have to be thankful for.

So choose to be thankful in the challenges. Choose to see the bright side, the healing, the places you will go and people you will meet next.

Choose to let go of what you cannot fix or control, what you are not in charge of, what is out of your reach. Choose to accept the circumstances of this life, even when they’re imperfect or awful, and instead of wrapping yourself up in negativity, exhale and release.

Release what is not meant for you. Release what has abandoned you. Release what has attempted to destroy you, hold you captive, bring you down. Release the pain you’ve been holding in your chest. Release the anxiety, the anger, the fear.

Release and make a conscious choice—today and every day—to seek happiness and live with a grateful heart. Because there you will heal, you will begin again, you will grow.

It won’t be nice if I take all the credit for this piece. Thanks to the brilliant Marisa.

Share and comment.

Who Are You, and Who Do You Want to be?

Hi guys!

Typically, when you look for role models, you want someone who has your interests and came from the same background. Well, look how restricting that is. What people should do is take role models à la carte. If there’s someone whose character you appreciated, you respect that trait – Neil deGrasse Tyson

Know Yourself

The inspiration provided by role models can be useful short cut to a quick fix of feeling good. But in order for this to work, you first need to know yourself. At first glance this may sound obvious – indeed, you might well assume that you already know yourself rather well! The truth, however is that usually we don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do. This can be for some reasons listed below.

  • A lack of self awareness
  • Not wanting to look at ourselves too closely, either consciously or subconsciously
  • Assuming that we already know ourselves and therefore don’t need to look
  • Not wanting to face weaknesses

It is only by knowing yourself on every level and in every way that you can fully benefit from the example set by role models.

Inspiring Role Models

Once you have identified your strengths and weaknesses, your character traits, how you think and how you behave, so on… you will have a good understanding of the gaps you need to be able to fill in order to make the best of every situation. You are now in the best position to choose a role model/models, by identifying people who are strong in the areas in which you are weak.

You need to select role models who will inspire you When faced with a difficult problem, by being able to think through what they might do, and how they might overcome the challenges with which you are faced.

Who Do You Want To Be?

Following your role models can be a fun way to share in their successes, but in order to enjoy such achievements yourself, you will need to decide not only what you want to do with your life, but who you want to be. Trying thinking of yourself as the blank canvas actors assume before creating a character. You could be anything, do anything and achieve anything you want to. So what is it that you really want to do? Who would you want to be this time next year, in five or ten years time? Think of your role models in terms of life and career, but more successful.

A persistent and lasting happiness is difficult to achieve if you are not happy with who you are, but by improving yourself a little everyday you will ensure that you move consistently closer to becoming a ‘you’ who you want to be, and to achieving the happiness you desire.

Now Is The Time For You To Help Each Other From Different Parts Of The World.

Hi guys!

I will keep it simple.

How can we assist each other in anyway? Yes not everything as to be financially inclined but it seems is the most challenging issue everyone is facing right now.

What about helping in services and profession. You can help someone in getting a job or linking one to provide a service. Don’t get me wrong, it is not easy but we can try.

I have a lot of financial issues on ground. Rent to pay, debts on ground, even my car am using for bolt to put food on the table and also pay some bills is in a serious mess. All I know is just a phase and things will surely work out.

I am opened to render my services in Advertising, SEO, or farming. Please contact me. If you also want to assist in anyway or led by the Holy Spirit I don’t mind at all. 😁😁😁🙏🙏🙏 God bless you!

I believe we will overcome every circumstances and storm by the grace of God. He will give us the strength and ways to make things change for our good.

Have a wonderful week!

Be Thankful and Stop Complaining

As you waste your breath complaining about life, someone out there is breathing their last.

Now that is powerful!

We are in a world full of problems and complains. But in all circumstances as Christians we should be thankful instead of complaining. Philippians 4:6

If you going to complain about something, don’t bother praying about it- Joyce Meyer

Instead of complaining about every single thing happening in our daily lives, we should rather live in the moment and be thankful to God for the good things He has done in the past and present. Waking up in the morning is a blessing, you can see, talk, and smell is a blessing. You can walk around is a blessing. Complaining where you at now in life will not move you to the next level, instead it will keep you stagnant. The solution is thanking God and praising Him always.

The flesh needs serious discipline for our spiritual growth to stay woke. Everyday, when you feel like complaining. Go to the Father and ask what you can do to make the situation better. We need a vision and not complain.

Remember what God says;

  • I will make a way for you.
  • I am fighting your battles.
  • Prayer is the best medicine.
  • Trust my timing.

NB: Live more, complain less. Have more smiles, less stress, less hate, become more blessed.

The best word you can take from this post is: STAY HAPPY ALL THE TIME and avoid TROUBLE.

For more insight on this topic. You can read the book of Philippians (The whole book), 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19, 1 Corinthians 10:9-11

We All Long For a Meaning and Purpose

We all long for a life that matters. Doing what matters and finding meaning is tied intricately with finding your purpose.

For many years, I sought my purpose. I had many goals and dreams. But I always lacked the anchored knowledge that I was pursuing what I was made for. I constantly spread myself to thin. Life was a bit of a roller coaster. I would work very hard, get ahead, but hit a bench mark and find no peace. No fulfillment. There was always this feeling of, “There has got to be more than this.

God designed all of us on purpose, for a purpose. And that purpose is not centered on you. Sorry to say it, some of you have no purpose in life. I can say that because I use to be such a person.

Perhaps your decisions have made it difficult to find that purpose. Not living a life of substance and foolish decision creates consequences. Walk this path long enough and you become buried in mistakes and regret. Life is simply survival; reacting negatively to everything.

Perhaps you have created a value system that is at odds with your true purpose. In our culture, success and status is so esteemed that the basic human needs of reciprocal relationship and community are sacrificed to gain it. Perhaps you stopped dreaming of a life of significance because all around you is the mundane. Every day feels the same. And each day you get a little number. The hope a New Year is already fading to the normal every day.

What is it that gets you out of bed on the days you don’t want to?  Get to know yourself better. What do you love and what bores you to tears?  Which strengths do you have and what are your weaknesses? What is it in this messed up world that when you see it you think,” Someone needs to do something about that! “When you come alive, what makes you come alive? The world does not need another widget or another soulless millionaire or another person who gave up. It desperately needs people who are alive.

Find your purpose. It matters. You matter. Your purpose matters to this world because no one can do it but you. If you don’t find it and you don’t fulfill it, the world will lose that brush stroke of God forever.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but the Lord’s Purpose prevails. – Proverbs 19:21

With God’s help, and your commitment, you will seek, and you will find; in Jesus name.

Special thanks to Joshua Delp

Learn To Sit Back And Observe

Hey guys!

This topic is not new to most of you but dropping this year as a reminder.

In life, we need to learn to sit back and observe things. Not everything needs a reaction all the time.
You will meet someone tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you’ve known forever. Time means nothing, character does.

Character is everything in life. A bad character is like a foul smell that leaves a stench everywhere you go and you can’t go far with it. Practice being yourself and you will realize how beautiful you are. Trying to be someone else will only make you ugly.
Getting no message is also a message.

Trust in the Lord and His word. He cannot disappoint you. It’s not in His nature.

Walk with God and you’ll never be alone.

Peace and Love 🙏❤️😇

Be Grateful For Setbacks

Setbacks, while never enjoyable experiences in their own right, can nevertheless offer some important opportunities, and if appropriately managed can lead to improved happiness. They can, for instance, provide opportunities to revise your plans for happiness and fulfillment in your life, to take stock and to see if you are heading in the right direction, or whether things need to change; and if they do, a setback might provide the impetus to making things happen.

At the very least, a setback should create a hiatus sufficient to get things underway. If you’re having problems in any area of your life, a setback can be seen as an opportunity to take a new and inspiring approach to finding a solution and, used correctly, it can create new routes to happiness. Setbavks can also offer new ways to grow, providing the opportunity to try new things, creating the space for new exploration and discovery, as well as building character. It is also in such times that you will find out who your real friends are. This can be harsh to discover, but it does atleast give you the opportunity to rid yourself of anyone who is not a positive influence in your life, and to create new relationships and friends with people who are. Whatever the setback, a positive attitude and a robust response will give you an opportunity to come back even stronger than before, and to prove to yourself that you can do so.

NB: Nobody prays for a setback in life, life just take its course.

Inspired by Matt Avery.

The Single Best Way to Respond to Difficult Times in Your Life

This is a guest post and a reminder that your testimony is here.

We all face difficult times in our lives. I’ve learned that there is one way to respond that is supreme and will help you, preserver, in life.

Some time ago, I was in a season of life that I was ready to be out of as soon as I entered it. If you’re reading this (and you’re human), you know exactly what I’m talking about. Thankfully, I made it through these difficult times, which we always do. But this time was different because I found an alternative way to respond.

I am wired in a way that I always immediately try to fix everything that isn’t right. (Sound familiar?) And during this difficult time I’m referring to in this blog post, that’s exactly what I started doing.

But this difficult time in my life was different from any prior experience…

I couldn’t fix or change what I was going through. As a result, I quickly became exhausted. I put a lot of time into trying to fix everything. Then one morning, I broke. You see, I had been pleading with God for weeks on this matter. But I would continuously ask God for the same thing over-and-over. But this morning, I decided to do something different.

Instead of asking God to fix my problems because I couldn’t, I instead decided to sit quietly and listen for His voice. Sounds simple, but when I just wanted everything “back to normal” or to be fixed in my life, it took a lot to sit quietly and not ask for God to intervene on my behalf to improve my situation.

When I finally got quiet before God, He responded.

I’ll never forget it. I heard God speak clearly, and I wasn’t sitting quietly for hours; no, it happened pretty quick! Do you want to know what God said to me that morning?

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

That is all He said—nothing more, nothing less. I remember sitting there for a moment in shock. Then I was left with those words echoing in my head.

It was a strange moment of revelation and peace. I realized at that moment that my job wasn’t to fix or even change the difficult times I was facing. In fact, there was probably a purpose for what I was going through. What God wanted for me to do was to be still, which means to be at peace with Him, knowing in the end, He would take care of me.

A few weeks later, I stumbled upon a Bible verse that ended up being strangely familiar.

“Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10

I had no idea that the very words God spoke to me were also in the Bible! But, it was a similar moment of revelation and internal peace. A moment that I, to this day, am eternally grateful for.

During these few tough weeks of my life, I ended up learning that there are times that we need to take a step back, exalt God for who He is, and be faithful in trusting God through our difficulties. We need to remember that He knows everything we are going through, good or bad. No matter what season of life you may be in, good or bad, I encourage you to don’t be in a rush for the next thing. Take a step back, and refocus on God and His goodness. Thank Him for where you are!

Are you wondering what I was struggling with during this season of my life?

I typically like to give context in my blog posts, but I am intentionally leaving it out today. Not to seem private or secretive, but instead to further prove a point. It doesn’t matter what we’re going through or what we’re struggling with. It could be big, and it could be small, no matter what, though, God is in control. If we can learn to be still and know that He is God, then, in the end, we will make it through what we’re facing in life.

Ultimately, here is the point I want to get across to you today:

God is in the midst of every season of your life, even the difficult times. Be still today; exalt God for who He is.

In conclusion of this blog post, I wanted to end it with a scripture speaking to me ever since I was a child; I believe it relates heavily to what I’m sharing today.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. – Psalm 26:1-6
I don’t know what you’re going through in life right now or what you may be struggling with. But I know that no matter how good or bad things are right now, the best thing you can do is slow down, be still, and know that God is still God and He is still in full control of your situation.

This piece relates to what am going through in my life. I decided to share with everyone facing a storm in their life.

Comment and share!

Special credit to Alex Sanfilippo

A Reminder: Don’t Be a Slave to your Dreams

Sometimes you are obsessed with what you think your life would be like if you had all the things you wished you had. Instead of enjoying your life as it is, even if it is not comfortable. But surely things will change because the situation is not permanent.

NB: Even though you do not know if achieving them would in fact make you any happier than you are now. Rather than living in the present, and enjoying it to the full, you are using your vision of how much better you think your life would be, as a form of defence, so that you don’t have to face the reality of life.

I am guilty of this most times and sure you can relate also.

You are keeping the real world at a distance, by pretending that is only temporary for you, that at any time your life will change and your prayers will be answered. But if you stop chasing your impossible dreams, and focus on your life as it really is, you will find that you already have everything you need to be completely happy.

In essence, stop chasing your tail.

Instead Of Focusing On Finding Something You Think Will Make You Happy, You Should Focus On Bettering Yourself

Bettering yourself doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you that needs fixing. It doesn’t mean you should be embarrassed or ashamed of yourself.

Bettering yourself simply means you’re going to put in the work to take care of yourself. It means, instead of pouring all of your effort into impressing other people, you’re pouring effort into making yourself happy.

Bettering yourself is going to raise your confidence. It’s going to encourage you to love yourself. It’s going to make you realize that whether or not you’re part of a couple has no correlation to your value. You’re worth the same amount as a single woman as you are as an engaged woman or a married woman. Your value doesn’t ebb and flow based on your relationship status.
Bettering yourself is going to encourage your growth. It’s going to inspire change. It’s going to push you to break your worst habits and develop healthier ones. It’s going to shape you into the type of person you can say you’re proud of, the type of person you can say you love.
Bettering yourself is going to help you heal, help you move forward, help you forget about the bad things that happened in the past and look forward to the good things that are bound to happen in the future. It will make you more excited for what’s to come, about what you could accomplish, about what the world has in store for you.

Bettering yourself is never done. It’s going to be a lifelong experience, so you’re going to have to stay dedicated, stay inspired, stay hopeful in yourself.

You can never go wrong with bettering yourself. In the process, you might even find the love you’ve been hoping to find. But if not, if you stay single for a while longer, then you’re not going to sweat it. You’re still going to be happy because you know a relationship doesn’t define you. You know a relationship isn’t the beginning or the end of the world. You know the one person who matters more than the future love of your life is yourself.

Be Good to Yourself this New Month: The Art of Self Love

We were all born and celebrated as cute little bundles of joy. Then we blossom and the cuteness somewhat fades away. Then comes the bosses, colleagues, mates, boys, men, and friends. This is when the seed of self-love you’ve sowed is put to test. If you have learnt the art of self-love, then you will easily get through life.

Loving yourself more is not being greedy, selfish or unfair. We are taught to be considerate and put others first but never how to love and prepare ourselves for the journey ahead. While you can be generous and kind, it shouldn’t be with a low self-esteem.

Self-esteem, self-care, self-acceptance, self-awareness, self-empowerment, self-respect, self-compassion, self-expression and self-worth are characteristics everyone should have. Notice that these words all begin with “self”?

We need to get over the fear of the unknown and understand our worth by simply practicing self-love. Self-love is not a one-time event but an endless, ongoing process.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
– Oscar Wilde

This New month of March, let us practice self-love and enjoy the joy and happiness we give ourselves.

Feel free to share to your followers and people you love.