The Truth About Changing Your Life Is That It Is Often Means Doing Less, Not More

The beginning of a self-transformation requires action, but the end of it requires something deeper, something harder, something you’ve probably never realized before.

While doing more will almost always generate results, there’s an untapped, life-changing magic in doing less.

Sometimes, your problems don’t come from what you’re not doing, they come from what you can’t stop doing.

To really change your life, you probably need to consume less. You probably need to learn to use what you have, to take a breath and stop yourself every time you think you need that one new perfect thing that will magically transform you into a new person.

You probably need to spend less. You probably need to reevaluate your patterns and behaviors and refocus on your long-term goals, prioritizing your future comfort over your immediate gratification.

You probably need to engage less, both with people who are not mentally mature and people whom do not have any intention of having a civil discourse with you. This is not because you can’t speak freely, but because having an exchange with someone whose intent is to fight you rather than connect with you will always be a losing situation.

You probably need to change less. When we start out on our healing journey, it’s about uprooting, replanting, and sprouting. But if you’re unhealed beneath the surface, you won’t be able to lay roots without wanting to rip them out again. Healing, you will find, is not about how many times you can start over, it is whether to not you can bloom.

You probably need to care less. When your mind is consumed with trying to master and perfect every single little thing in your life, you get overwhelmed and give up. Instead, you have to focus on the few things that are actually requiring your attention, and then build from there.

You probably need to do less. Not because you shouldn’t be productive, but because you only have so much energy in a day, and when you spend it on things you don’t really care much about, you find yourself constantly exhausted, drained and at your wit’s end.

You probably need to have fewer expectations. Often, we conflate that with having high standards, but they aren’t the same thing. Unrealistic expectations will slowly wreck you, because they require that you achieve perfection immediately. When your expectation is that you should be a natural-born master of whatever you try to do, it becomes really hard to show up and do the work consistently, which is what you actually have to do to achieve mastery.

You probably need to not try so hard. When you try to force people to like you, it usually has the opposite effect. When you try to convince yourself you’re attractive, you usually seem less so. When you are trying to force every outcome in your life, there’s usually a reason they aren’t coming together on their own.

You probably need to give fewer excuses. Not because you’re going to be unkind to yourself, but because the kindest thing you can possibly do is stop avoiding the honest truth about what’s wrong. You cannot keep trying to positive-self-talk your way into thinking you love your life when you do not. When we’re ready to make fewer justifications, it means we’re also ready to make greater change.

The truth about doing less is that it’s going to bring you into stillness. It is going to require you to face that discomfort you’ve been running from head-on.

The truth is that when we first realize we need to change our lives, it is easy to get swept away in the escape fantasy of it all. Everything has to go, and nothing can stay. There’s an addictive quality to starting over, and if you’re not careful, you can confuse it for actually healing.

Truly getting better is learning to be okay where you are, wherever you are. It is actually metabolizing that discomfort for once, listening to it, letting it show you where you are deeply misaligned.

It is to become grounded, to make positive decisions for the long-term, to start breaking those destructive habits that have been fueled by the pain you haven’t quite had a name for all these years.

It is to no longer be controlled by your feelings, but by your ambitions, by your dreams for the future.

When you go about changing your life, sometimes, the most radical shift of all is to do absolutely nothing — and wait for the sun to rise.

Despite What People Say, Your Reputation Is Just As Important As Your Character

Hey guys!

As I was surfing the internet as always for inspiration, I stumbled on this piece that will blow your minds out. At first when I was reading through, it was as if everything was all about me. Am sure reading through also can relate to you too.

Conventional wisdom tells us that your character should matter more than your reputation. After all, one is who you really are, while the other is just what other people perceive you to be.

While there’s certainly virtue in knowing that no misperception of you can really impact the truth of who you are, it is a false notion to think that we don’t have to care what other people think about us.

However, we hear the opposite as a rally-cry all the time.

It doesn’t matter what other people think!

Except it does, because everything you want in life involves other people.

Now, small-minded people who are intent on disliking you for their own prejudiced reasons are not what we’re talking about. No, we’re not even talking about the people who dislike you for legitimate reasons.

Your reputation does matter as much as your character because the way people perceive you is who they imagine you to be, and who they imagine you to be determines how they will interact with you, what they offer you, whether or not they want to work with you, and whether or not they show up for you.

You cannot behave like a social pariah and then just fall back on the idea that it “doesn’t matter what other people think” because you’re a good person at heart.

All that goodness will be for nothing if you aren’t actively considering the opinions of others. No, not so they can weigh you down and stop you from pursuing your goals, but because when other people have a consensus about you, you’re typically the common denominator.

It matters what the people in your close circle think.

It matters what your partner thinks.

It matters what the people you love think.

If everyone in your life thinks you’re making a mistake, you might really need to take a moment to consider whether or not you might be. If everyone in your life is warning you about your new partner, you might need to take a moment to consider if perhaps they have a point. If everyone in your life seems to have the same problems with you, for the same reasons, in the same patterns, at the same frequencies, you might really need to take a moment and determine whether or not the world is just crazy and out to get you or if, perhaps, there’s also a pattern in your behaviour.

It’s easy to not care what other people think.

It’s convenient, actually.

It totally lets us off the hook, it allows us to validate our own motives and desires without any real consideration for those around us.

The work is not that we completely neglect our own needs and opinions in favour of other people’s.

The work is that we both advocate for and tend to our own needs, honour our own opinions, and still remain cognizant of how people are responding to us.

If you want to get anywhere in life, you have to be a reasonably likable person, or at the bare minimum, not impossible to work with, difficult to connect with, or challenging to love.

And to do that, we have to think about what other people are thinking. Not so their opinions of us can become our own, but so that their opinions of us can inform our own.

In all, I appreciate one of my mentors and excellent writer Brianna Weist for always coming through whenever I need a push in my life. Her piece of work is very deep and encouraging. Also it’s a privilege to always acknowledge your work on my page.

The First Step To Self-Care Is Actually Giving A Shit About Yourself

Hey guys!I was amazed when I set my eyes on this write up. I have no other choice but to share it with you. It is a guest post from one of my role model and beautiful writer Holly Riordan 🙌🔥Please be patient when reading.

The first step to self-care is deciding you matter. You deserve to feel confident. You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to feel whole.

You have to stop telling yourself that it doesn’t matter what you do with your time because no one cares anyway. At the very least, you have to care. After all, you’re the only one who matters.

If other people aren’t paying attention to you, aren’t supporting you, aren’t loving you, that’s outside of your control. The only thing you can control is our own actions, your own thoughts, your own choices.

The first step to self-care is actually giving a shit. It’s deciding that you care about where your career is headed. You care about whether your friendships are stable. You care about what happens to your heart. You care about whether you get enough exercise that day, whether you eat enough that day, whether you take care of your hygiene that day. You care about yourself.

If you don’t care about yourself, if you continue to believe that you are worthless and aren’t going to make it so there’s no point in even trying, then you’re going to get caught in a self-destructive cycle. You’re never going to take a chance on yourself. You’re going to keep coming up with excuses to stay hidden inside your comfort zone. You’re never going to change.

It’s a pretty simple concept. If you don’t care about yourself, you’re not going to take good care of yourself. You’re going to stop trying. You’re going to let yourself waste away. And you cannot let that happen. You cannot forget your worth. You cannot treat yourself so unkindly.

Maybe you’re unable to love yourself right now because you’re distracted by your flaws. Or maybe you made a mistake you consider unforgivable and can’t stop thinking about the past. Or maybe you’re just in a toxic mindset right now.

If learning to love yourself sounds like too big of a leap from where you are right now, you can start by learning to give a shit about yourself.

You don’t have to love your body yet, but you should give a shit about keeping it clean and healthy. You don’t have to love your job yet, but you should give a shit about whether you’re doing the right thing at work. You don’t have to love your life yet, but you should give a shit about continuing it, strengthening it, bettering it.

It’s not going to be easy to change the way you think. It’s not going to be easy to suddenly start giving a shit about yourself after years of not caring at all — but it might be a little bit easier than suddenly loving yourself unconditionally.

Give a shit about whether you make healthy decisions that day.

Give a shit about whether you compliment yourself that day.

This is a guest post.

Which Do You Prefer: Working From Home or In The Office?

Hi guys!

So currently some countries have ease the ongoing lockdown that compulsorily made everyone stay at home for a long period of time. During this lockdown, a lot have been going down. Most of us discovered a talent or two, some new skills, and ideas.

Working from home

I for one have definitely found a new skill and idea on a project.

As we all know this pandemic will change a lot of things especially one that has to do with our daily bread or businesses.

The use of technology is on a top notch level at the moment. Because that is what is used to communicate with everyone: staffs, colleagues, fellow students, etc… Well I can speak for myself that working from home can be related to working smarter and faster. It will save a lot of time and money spent on transportation and feeding. But this is not for everyone, especially those who are not used to working from home. It can be exhausting, boring, and can make one lazy that results to sleeping.

Working from the office

Now the question is thrown to you guys. Which do you prefer, and also will you continue with your choice if you were given the chance?

In all, please be safe and mask up when you go out.

Have a wonderful day!

Ease on Lockdown: Stay Alert, Mask Up, and Be Careful

Please, let me advise all my friends and family to think twice before joining the multitudes that would jump into the street by 4th of May, we can’t come this far to go back fast.

4th of May is not the expiration date for the virus, you can still contract it, so think twice before you make the decision of going out and if you finally decide to go out please, be more careful than you have been doing.
Spanish flu of 1918 killed over 50million persons reason been that when the isolation was relaxed then, people rushed into the street to begin their normal life without been mindful of the fact that the flu was still around and within the first three weeks of the relaxation, over 35million persons lost their life’s.

Let’s not give room for history to repeat itself… Extend your own lockdown beyond 4th of May if you can.

While countries like America, Italy and China were in lockdown, their government were busy disinfecting the streets of their nation. While Nigerians were on lockdown, our government were busy stealing and looting funds made for disinfecting and putting measures to checkmate the spread of the virus.

America, Italy, China are relaxing their lock down, our copy and paste government are also relaxing ours. The citizens of the above nations will go into a disinfected street while we will carelessly rush into a highly infected street….think twice.

America, China and other nations began to think of relaxing their lockdown when they started experiencing low record of Coronavirus case but our myopic government chose to relax our lockdown even when we are still experiencing massive increase of the virus.

If wisdom has eluded our leaders in aspect of decision making, let wisdom not also elude us in making our own personal decision.

Be guided, think twice, stay home and stay safe.

Those who will tell the story of this Coronavirus are those that took painstaking measures to stay indoors, you can choose to be one of us.

Stay Responsible.

Trust The Part Of Yourself That Tells You To Move On

Trust the part of yourself that tells you when something needs to be over. The part that tells you that you need to end a certain chapter and start a new one. The part that tells you when something has served its purpose. Trust the part of yourself that keeps waking you up at night nudging you to grow out of your comfort zone and try something new. Something bold. Something exciting. Something that will bring you back to life.

Trust the part of yourself that knows there’s so much more to you. There’s more to life. There’s more than what you’re settling for. There’s more to your life than boredom, discomfort and anxiety.

Trust the part of yourself that’s hungry for abundance, growth, inspiration and meaning. Trust the part of yourself that begs you for change. Whether getting a new job, moving to a new city, losing certain people to make room for new ones or just working on yourself and exploring new habits. Trust the part of yourself that begs you to leave certain things. The part that knows that staying any longer will do more harm than good.

Trust the part of yourself that believes against all odds that things will work out in your favor when you take a leap of faith. The part that propels you to break the rules and take the road less traveled and give up your security for a little bit to start a new adventure that could change your life. Trust the part of yourself that sounds crazy because a little bit of madness is sometimes all you need to pursue your biggest dreams.

Trust the part of yourself that just knows when something isn’t right or when something is no longer good for you even if it’s hard to admit. Trust the part of yourself that is pushing you to end things you’re not ready to end because this part just knows that something better is right around the corner but you have to make some space for it. You have to be empty first before you can be full again.

Trust the part of yourself that knows when it’s time to move on because that part also knows what moving on will teach you. The new doors that will open. The new opportunities that will come up when you take a risk. The things that will come find you when you declare that you are searching and that you’re free.

Trust the part of yourself that tells you when to let go because that means a new beginning awaits you and deep inside you know it’s been too long since something came along that made you look forward to tomorrow. Deep inside you know that you are in desperate need of change. Deep inside you know that you can’t live a new life if you are still clinging to the old one that no longer fulfills you.

Trust the part of you that knows when it’s time to say goodbye. The part that may not have a perfect plan for the future but it has faith that something big is coming along once start stepping out so you can reach it. Once you start driving on a different road to find it.

Guest post from Rania Naim about self Improvement and growth.

We Have Not Truly Lived, Until Our Lives Have Become The Stars and Sunshine Of Someone Else

This was the circulated photo of a vulture waiting for a starving Sudanese girl to die so it can feast on her. It was taken by Kevin Carter, a prolific photojournalist, during the famine of 1993 in Sudan. This photo later won Kevin the Pulitzer prize for an ‘exceptional’ caption.


However, Kevin later got depressed and took his own life four months after his worldwide celebration as a skillful photographer. He fell to depression. His depression began when during an interview (a phone-in programme), someone asked him what happened to the child. “I did not wait to see what happened after this shot as I had a flight to catch…. “. And the person replied, “I put it to you that there were two vultures that day; one had a camera”. This statement sank Kevin and as he constantly thought of the statement, he got depressed and ended his own life.

In whatever we do, let’s consider humanity first before what we can gain. Kevin Carter may still have been alive today had it been he helped that little child. I don’t know why he didn’t but in all we should always be compassionate.

We have not truly lived, until our lives have become the stars and sunshine of someone else.

Search within you and if there is that one person you feel you can help start now tomorrow might be too late.

Share with a friend.

New Music: Like A Boss is Trending – By Luscious FMB

This is a sponsored post.


Luscious FMB is not new to the music industry. Last year he gave us some monster hits like “Aiye” and “one hundred”. He promised to surprise us with another hit and Yes! he fulfilled his promise as he releases the most awaited hit single for the year “Like a Boss”

LIKE A BOSS is an Afro- Pop rhythm for the body and mind. The lyrics is easy to sing along with and the beat is just top notch.

Listen/Download Like a boss

Download Like a Boss

The Unspoken Words of Connection

This is a guest post from Titi Adenuga


It’s in the locking of eyes and letting it stay.

It’s in the curving of lips and letting out a smile.

It’s in the nod of heads in agreement or the wave of hands.

It’s in true and genuine admiration of someone or something.

It’s in the first steps, just like we learnt to walk – ‘hi’ ‘hello’

It’s in the affirmation and the reaching out. Most times, as always, someone must take the initiative.

It’s in the ease and flow – there’s sometimes usually no walls here.

It’s in the remembering of names and recalling it a few minutes or seconds after.

It’s in the hugs and kisses and holding of hands.

It’s even in the words we speak and how we say them.

It’s in letting in – sometimes a little deeper than casual.

It’s in the little things and sometimes in the big ones but most importantly, in how we make others feel –even if you just met them or long after they are gone.

It’s in the impressions – that’s not just a social media buzz word; it’s a human code.

It’s in embracing who we are and what makes us uniquely human.
Love & Light,

Footnotes:
A lot of my thoughts and writings recently have been around human connection. I find it interesting and feel it’s very important for people to learn the art of connection. It is in the simplest things, yet they seem difficult because we love to protect our egos and would rather stick our faces in the light of our phones, scrolling and most times, doing absolutely nothing! Even by doing that, I have learnt that we simply just want to connect. I am not exactly extroverted but I truly enjoy the deep and sweet feeling of connecting with people. We all need our communities (physical and virtual) safer and kinder and to have this ideal community, we must all put in an effort to make it happen – HAVE YOU SMILED AT SOMEONE TODAY?

5 Tips for Conquering Negativity When Starting Your Own Business

Guest post from Katelyn Marie

Imagine this. It has been raining for so long, but you want to take a walk and meet your friend who lives a house down. The only problem is that you live on a dirt road. There are no sidewalks or paved walking paths to be found.

So, you decide to walk on the dirt road. As you take the first few steps forward the mud is so thick you can feel the suction on your shoes as they are nearly pulled off of your feet. You’re scared of the step you just took and want to turn around, but you realize that you really want to see your friend.

You push on only to slip and go sideways. You catch yourself and learn from your mistake. Pretty soon you’re walking at a good clip, but you don’t see the stick in your way and trip over it, falling down completely.

Managing to get back up, you notice you’re covered in the filth and dirt. The mud is fresh in your mouth; it tastes disgusting. You won’t be able to wash off until later, but you wipe off as much as you can.

You start to wonder when you’ll get to your friend’s house. It didn’t seem this far away before.

You think about giving up completely, but you realize that wouldn’t be wise. You’re already part way there. You’ve chosen to follow through and if you quit now, you’ll feel cheated. Besides, you want to see your friend.

Finally, you see your friend waving from her porch. She runs forward and embraces you.

“I’ve been waiting,” she says.

Revealing Your Power

  • Now, what if I told you the mud was every negative thought, naysayer, or comment that was holding you back from your dreams?
  • And your friend was success.
  • And that you were carrying a super long hose that could’ve been used to wash yourself clean at any time you chose?

Would you believe me?

When I first started out, I’m not sure I would have.

Right out of college I chose to start my own freelance writing business. That was the scariest decision I’ve made to date. It’s hard and frustrating and sometimes completely baffling. It’s all too easy to get wrapped up in the doubts and negative thinking that can accompany taking a leap of faith.

But success was calling my name. She beckoned me from her porch, called me to keep coming closer, to keep pursuing her.

It’s easy to get stuck in the mud. To fall victim to the thoughts in our own mind and voices of others who doubt our ability to achieve what we are called to. It’s easy to stumble over an obstacle in our path and let it stop us. But we must forge on.

A lot of people have called me brave for starting my own business. While these things do take courage, I think the bravest people are the ones who start working on their goals and keep working to complete them. It takes grit, determination, and bravery.

I didn’t believe it at first, but I do hold the power. And with these five ways to conquer negativity, you can hold the power, too.

Say No to Negativity When Starting Your Own Business – 5 Easy Tips

1. Not Everyone Will Understand—Don’t Expect them To

There will always be well-intentioned people who will try to change your mind. Who will try to convince you to do something safer or easier.

My advice: don’t let them. Stick to your guns and explain why your dream is important to you. If they don’t come around, they aren’t worth your time.

2. True Haters are Probably Jealous

Ever come across a person who has nothing kind to say about your business venture?

It might be their own insecurities talking. You’re doing something they’ve only dreamed about. Remind yourself that it isn’t you and if you can, distance yourself from the negativity.

3. Find Positive Places and People

Whether it’s friends and family or a group on Facebook, surround yourself with like-minded people who share your goals. It’s much easier to reign over doubt if you have people walking with you. Plus, it’s a great way to network and expand your circle of supporters.

4. Success is Measured in More than One Way

Don’t look at your business purely in terms of profit. While that’s the ultimate goal, there is so much you learn with a start-up. You’re gaining life skills that are invaluable. So, when someone tries to measure your success in monetary terms, know that’s not the only way to look at it.

5. View Mistakes as Lessons

When you start this journey and as you continue to walk on it, there will be times when you mess up. Instead of throwing in the hat and telling yourself you aren’t cut out for this, try to see mistakes as learning experiences. Work through the problem and try not to repeat it. Be as gritty as possible.

A Rocky Road is Well Worth It

It isn’t always easy to follow your dreams. Sometimes they seem impossible. We make excuses: now’s not the right time, I don’t have enough money saved, I’m too old for this, I wouldn’t know where to begin.

But the truth is we can make excuses for days. There will never be a “right” time to start. But if it is something you really want, put on your boots and stick your foot into the mud. It’ll be messy, but there’s a good chance it’ll be worth it.

Image credit: Pinterest

You Are So Much More Than Your Mistakes

Regret is a funny thing. It sticks to us like honey, even after we’ve washed our hands of it. It stays on us like the scent that forever stains your collar. It always comes back like the pesky fly that won’t disappear. But is regret really this relentless? Or are we opening the door of our minds for regret to move into?

We wake up mornings regretting the day or days before. We tread throughout the day as if regret was a chain linked to our ankles. Our heads are down, as we try and pull the weight of our sins. But, my dear, if you were to look up and see the sun you’d realize there are things bigger than your past mistakes.

We go to sleep counting our troubles and praying for better days. But don’t you see that it is up to you to make these days exist? Don’t you see, darling, that when you wake, this is the beginning of the rest of your life? Regret should not wake up on the pillowcase beside you. Leave regret to past where it belongs. Wake up with the conviction that you are better than your past.

Because, truthfully, I have probably forgotten hundreds of mistakes I’ve made in my lifetime. I could not remember what I regretted on a rainy afternoon, like today, 3 years ago. Three years ago I remember the trip I took to the coast of France. Three years ago I remember being hopelessly in love. Three years ago I don’t remember the weight of mistakes we seem to carry voluntarily.

So let go, my dear. As the days go on, it’ll be the momentous moments you scrapbook in your mind. At the end of our days, we won’t look back on midnight regrets, afternoon gaffes, and morning blunders. No, as our days near an end we’ll look back at all we did and hope that we did all we could.

Do you see yet, guys? How when you waste your moments stuck in a puddle of regret you’re missing all the moments you’ll actually want to remember? Let go. Let all the errors drift away. Leave the mistakes in the dust with the rest of your past. Don’t let darkness overshadow the sparkle of your happiness. Because don’t you see yet… there is so much to be happy about.

When you sit in your rut going back and forth between what if’s and what not’s… Leave your mind and enter the world. Enter the world and do something worthwhile. If you worry that you have faltered, then go out and prove yourself wrong. If you feel you’ve lost yourself, then go out and find yourself in the present. There are endless possibilities of wonder waiting for you to capture them.

Leave what you cannot change to memory’s sake. The menial mistakes will fade in time. You’ll probably make more to add to the disappearing list. Make as many as you want, darling. We learn from them. We grow from them. It’s through these very mistakes that we are able to experience the brighter moments with a stronger heart. It’s through these very errors that we find more bliss in the wonderful.

Guest post By Sonya Matejko

Image credit: Pinterest

Why Your Dreams Require Band-Aids

This is a true life inspirational experience and story.

Fulfilling a dream is a lot like surfing. We fall a lot. But when we honor God with our dreams, He remains with us through the highs and lows.

You have a dream, right? So do I. We probably have more than one, maybe even dozens. If your dream isn’t brand new and you’ve started taking steps to pursue it, you’ve likely discovered that the path to fulfillment is something like the field of poppies that Dorothy had to cross to reach the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz.

Those poppies sure look pretty, but [spoiler], the wicked witch has poisoned them to keep Dorothy from reaching her goal. Hopefully none of us are picking our way through a field of poison poppies today, but if you’re like me, you might be buying some Band-Aids.

Case in point

My husband James and I both love the outdoors, but the primary difference between us is that he was born with natural ability and I have to work for every ounce of strength and skill I have. One sport he introduced me to is surfing, and last year, I shared my preliminary experience with you. Since then, I’ve improved … a little.

Understand that my goal with this sport is not lofty. I don’t want to metal in a sporting event or even qualify to participate in one. I simply want to get upright long enough to enjoy the wave and then get off without injuring myself.

The size of our goal doesn’t matter as much as how willing we are to stick with it. In that regard, surfing and dreams in general have a few common qualities.

To succeed, you will fall.

Falling off a surfboard provides a physical sensation that equates well to the pain of failure. You don’t just fall off a surfboard and land gently in the water. Your board might nose dive, catapulting you over it. You might get sucked under the water and feel like you’re drowning.

However, the more you fall, the wiser you become. As you practice, you will keep falling, but experience will teach you that even when you feel like you’re going to drown, you should wait a few moments before surfacing, or your board might land on your head. Yes, ouch.

Pursuing dreams is similar. You might get rejected, turned down, booed, told “that’s impossible,” or any number of scenarios. If you don’t quit the first time, the second time, or the hundredth time you fall, you will eventually meet success or at least approach your goal more intelligently.

To succeed, you will scrape your knee.

Be prepared. Pride and self-interests often take a back seat when pursuing goals.

The last time we walked to the beach with surf boards in tow, I had one wish: Please, please let me not get hurt today. You see, last year, I took a hefty chunk of skin off my left knee that required a bigger Band-Aid than even the lifeguard could provide.

For the first hour, I was getting the hang of things. I welcomed smaller waves and kept getting up on the board for some decent rides. The only problem was that since my waves weren’t deep, I was riding them into much more shallow waters. All it took was one wrong fall, and I scraped the skin off my other knee.

So now they match. Kind of. I jokingly tell James that thanks to this sport, I will have prematurely ugly knees.

The bigger the dream, the bigger the fight

Yes, our dreams sometimes leave us feeling scraped up.  As Pete Wilson shares in his book What Keeps You Up at Night, “The bigger the dream, the bigger the fight you’ll face. In fact, the people throughout history who have been the most directly in the center of God’s will for their lives are the same people who have gone through the toughest trials.”

Wilson gives the example of Joseph, one of my favorite Bible characters. Talk about someone whose dream presented obstacles! He went from daddy’s favorite to a slave and a prisoner before God elevated him to Pharaoh’s right hand man. His life experience left more than scraped knees. But through all the setbacks and disappointments in his life, Joseph sought to honor God through his circumstances, and God remained with him.

Several times in Scripture, we find this idea of God being present with Joseph through every low point in his life (emphasis added below).

  • The Lord was with Joseph, and he was a successful man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.” (Genesis 39:2 NKJV)
  • “But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.” (Genesis 39:21 NKJV)
  • “The keeper of the prison did not look into anything that was under Joseph’s authority, because the Lord was with him; and whatever he did, the Lord made it prosper.” (Genesis 39:23 NKJV)
  • “And the patriarchs, becoming envious, sold Joseph into Egypt. But God was with him and delivered him out of all his troubles, and gave him favor and wisdom in the presence of Pharaoh, king of Egypt; and he made him governor over Egypt and all his house.” (Acts 7:9-10 NKJV)

You know what these verses tell me? When we seek to honour God through our dreams, God is with us, too.

Surfing is but a picture.

Surfing is a personal dare I have yet to master, but it paints such a good picture for the obstacles we often face when going for the dreams God has placed on our hearts.

The bottom line is that we can’t give up on them, because God doesn’t give up on us. We have to keep buying the Band-Aids. One day, when we do succeed, all those falls will have been worthwhile as we feel God’s pleasure. Well done!

Question: What dream has God placed in your heart?

Credit to Kristen Hogrefe for sharing this wonderful story and experience.

Happy New Month Of November

May this new month bring fresh air to your soul
As you breathe in God’s life anew.

May a sunrise of sweet promises
Dawn across your mind with dreams that come true.


May the love of your heavenly Father
Blow like a breeze through your cares
And the winds of eternities calling
Lift you high to find vision again.

Amen🙏

This Week’s Top Stories About 7 Small Habits That Will Steal Your Happiness

“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.”
Wayne Dyer

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius

It is usually pretty easy to become a happier person.

It is also quite easy to rob yourself of your own happiness.

To make yourself more miserable and add a big bowl of suffering to your day. It is a common thing, people do it every day all over the world.

So this week I’d like to combine these two things. I want to share 7 happiness stealing habits that I have had quite a bit of trouble with in my own daily life (and I know from the emails I get that many of you do too).

But I’d also like to add what you can do instead if you find yourself being stuck in one of these destructive habits.

1. Going for a daily swim in a sea of negative voices.

This one can be quite subtle.

You just go around in your daily life like you usually do. Hang out with the same people. Listen to the same podcasts or radio shows, watch the same old TV-shows and read the usual blogs, books and magazines.

But what influence do these things have over your thinking and the limits you set for yourself and what you feel you deserve in life?

What to do instead:

Make a list of the 5 people you hang out with the most and the 5 media sources you spend most time on during your week.

Then ask yourself this for each of these 10 things/people: is this one dragging me down or lifting me up in life?

Consider spending less time with the ones that drag you down (or cut them out completely) and to spend more of your time with the people and sources that lift you up and make you feel good, motivated etc.

If you have trouble getting started with this one, then go smaller.

Take a few minutes to think about what one person or source that has the biggest negative impact on you. And how you can start to spend less time with it/him/her this week.

2. Waiting for just the right time.

When you have a dream then it is so easy to get lost in planning how you will accomplish it. To drift away in daydreams about how it will be. But also to get stuck in fears about failing with it.

So you make a common choice and wait – and wait and wait for maybe years – for just the right time to take action and get started with making that dream into something real.

What to do instead:

Sure, not every dream is something you can get started with right now.

But there are many that you can get going with. Dreams that only fear is holding you back from.

So make things easy on yourself. You don’t have to do it in a big and extremely courageous jump.

If that was the case then only the bravest people in the world would do and achieve what they want.

Instead, take a small step forward. Take one small action.

That is it.

Then tomorrow you can take another small step forward.

The important thing is that you get started and get going instead spending so much time on just waiting and feeling more and more frustrated and unhappy about the state of your dreams.

3. Letting criticism get under your skin time and time again.

When someone criticizes or verbally attacks you then it may just roll off you like water of the back of a duck.

But if it on the other hand gets under your skin pretty much every time and drags you down into hours or days of self-doubt or self-beatings then you have a problem.

What to do instead:

  • Let it out. Talk it over with someone close to you to let the inner tensions out. And to find a healthier perspective on what happened together.
  • Remember: it is not always about you. If your self-esteem is low them it is easy to start thinking that all the negative things people tell you are your fault in some way. That is however often not the case. People will attack or harshly criticize to let their own steam out. Because they have had an awful day, week or simply do not like their lives that much. So don’t think it is all about you. There are two of you in this situation.

4. Focusing on the wrong people and getting lost in envy and powerlessness

When you spend much time in your day thinking about what other people have and do and you compare your life to theirs then you have a good recipe for unhappiness.

Because you spend the attention and energy in the wrong place.

What to do instead:

Focus on you. Compare yourself to yourself.

See how far you have come. The obstacles you have overcome. How you have improved in small or sometimes bigger ways. Appreciate that and yourself.

Focus not on what others have but on what YOU deep down want in your life.

And ask yourself: what is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling with this goal/dream?

Keep your focus on yourself and what you can actually do to raise your self-confidence, to start walking on your own path and to spend your limited daily time and energy on something that will actually pay off.

5. Not allowing yourself times of peace and rest during your day.

When you are busy, busy, busy all the time and give yourself no time to recharge then you soon become fatigued.

And so each step and each thing you do starts to feel heavier and you do not get much enjoyment at all out of pushing and pulling yourself through it.

What to do instead:

  • Take a break every hour. Try setting the timer on your cell phone for 45 minutes. During that time-period just focus on doing your most important task at the moment. Then, as the bell rings, set the timer for 15 minutes and step away from your workspace. Have a snack, talk a walk or stretch a bit. By cycling rest and fully focused work like this you’ll get more things done, do a better job and it will be easier to keep the optimism and motivation up.
  • Be 10 minutes early. Transform those traveling times during your day into relaxing breaks instead of passages of time and space that only increase your stress levels and other negative feelings.

6. Never trying anything new.

This one can be sneaky.

It can make you think that things are pretty OK. You have your safe and comfortable routine.

I know, I have been there for long stretches of time.

But during those times there was also denial of feeling dissatisfied. A vague feeling of standing still that sometimes bloomed up into a big burst of undefined, negative feelings directed towards the world or myself.

What to do instead:

  • Remind yourself of the past times when you tried something new. And how you most often did not regret it one bit but had an exciting, interesting or fun time.
  • Go small. You don’t have to try skydiving. Just take one small step and try some new and different music, a movie or book you would normally not go for or the vegetarian dish if you usually have the beef or sausage for lunch.
  • Say yes just once this week when your mind says no. If a friend invites you to go out running, doing yoga or to go fishing or to a party and your mind goes “let’s say no, that is not what I usually do” then stop yourself for a second. And reconsider. You don’t have to say yes to every suggestion you get this week to try something new, but give it a shot and say yes to just one of those things.

7. Taking things too seriously.

When you take life too seriously then it is easy to become so afraid of making a mistake and of stumbling a bit that you get paralyzed in analysis.

When you take yourself too seriously then, in my experience, it becomes difficult to fully enjoy the moment and what is happening, to let go of the past and to laugh about yourself and life when you need it the most.

What to instead:

  • Put up a reminder. When I wanted to develop a lighter mindset quite a few years ago one thing that helped me was a simple note on fridge that said: Lighten Up! This reminder helped me to snap out of overly serious thoughts several times a day until this way of finding a lighter perspective became more and more of an automatic thought habit.
  • Surround yourself with lighter mindsets. As mentioned in the section about habit #1, what and who you surround yourself with will have a big effect on how you think. No matter if it is a positive or negative aspect they add. So one powerful thing to do is to add lighter mindsets via people, books, the internet etc. to your daily life.
  • Raise your self-esteem. I have found that as my self-esteem has gone up I can laugh about myself more because I am less defensive. I have more trust in myself and so I fear a temporary failure less. And I like myself more and so I am less concerned about getting everyone else to like me all the time.

You can use this article as a manual for your everyday growth and improvement.