Cherishing God’s Will Above Our Comfort

As Christians we must begin cherishing God’s will above our own Comfort. This is not always simple to do, but it is possible. This post explains how.

Guest post.

In order to begin cherishing God’s will above our comfort, the bottom line this. God is God, and His glory should be our pursuit even when it hurts. When Joab and his brother Abishai were surrounded by the Syrians and Ammonites, this is what he said: “Be of good courage, and let us play the man for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the LORD do what seems good to him” (2 Samuel 10:12)

They were ready for battle, but were resolved to whatever outcome God deemed good in His view. Esther echoed a similar refrain: “… I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16)

Once again we see an abandonment to God to do what He deems best. I’ll do what I know to do to the best of my ability and trust God to have His way. I really feel this is the essence of having faith: trusting God in spite of the outcome. It is a trust in God’s goodness (having the best intentions for us), His ability (to do all things), and His wisdom (to do that which will bring Him glory and us joy in Him).

In both passages, the central characters took responsibility, were decisive, yet rescinded themselves to God’s will. James encourages us to have this attitude.

Sometimes, we make plans, speak presumptuously about the plans without any acknowledgment that God should have a say. As if God exists simply to meet our needs or for our sole satisfaction. He warns: “Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:15)

It’s time to start cherishing God’s will like never before.

His will is our ultimate place of fulfillment, even if it seems like we miss out on some momentary comfort. This is not always easy,  and I am sure it was no different for the Bible characters mentioned earlier. But, such trust in God sets the stage for Him to show Himself strong. As tempting as it might be, let not your heart be anchored simply on things hoped for but rather stay grounded on God’s goodness, power and wisdom.

Credit to Sho.

Thankfulness Is The Beginning Of Happiness: Why Are People So Unhappy?

We’re all searching for happiness in life. But many of us look in the wrong places. Start with thankfulness. Thankfulness is the beginning of happiness!As a human race, people are more unhappy than ever before. I’ve discovered that there are three main reasons for this decline in our overall happiness. The three main reasons for our unhappiness are comparison, comfort, and entitlement. I’ll explain each in detail below.

#1. Comparison

Thanks to big media, TV, movies, and even social media platforms, we’re always comparing ourselves to someone else. Comparison will steal your happiness quicker than anything else. The key to overcoming the comparison game is to take these things for what they are. Remember, online, and on TV, you’re seeing someone’s best. Both their successes and their failures, you see it polished and made interesting for you. At the end of the day, each of us are human, and what you see on a screen is not reality. Stop comparing yourself!

#2. Comfort

This is the silent killer. Do you want to die faster? Live a comfortable life. I could really go on a rant about comfort, but I’ll save it for a content later. Here’s the summary, comfort is an illusion. The more comfortable you are consistently, the less happy you’ll be. The more uncomfortable you are, the more you push yourself and don’t allow yourself to relax, the happier you will be. (In moderation, of course) If you want to be happier in life, get off the couch, do something crazy that makes you really uncomfortable, stretch yourself!

#3. Entitlement

I’ve heard many people say that because Buhari is the president, they’ve felt more unhappy. GROW UP. Since when is it someone else’s responsibility to make you happy? News flash, life isn’t about you, and it never will be. Yes, I know, I’m being harsher than I usually am here. But many people need to hear this. Life isn’t about you, stop acting like it is. Take responsibility for your life and circumstances. Make the best of every season that you’re in. If there’s something you don’t like happening around you, fill the gap, be the solution instead of the complaining voice. (Remember, I love you all! I’ll stop being harsh now.)

One more thing, happiness is not circumstantial.

Happiness doesn’t come from having a great job or owning a successful business, and it doesn’t come from being debt-free or extremely wealthy. It doesn’t come from being in a stable relationship or having a lot of friends. Everything I just mentioned makes you FEEL happy, but it’s all a by product. Happiness is a mindset, not a set of circumstances.

Obviously, there are more reasons why people are so unhappy than I mentioned above. I have found these three reasons to be the root of the happiness crisis that we’re facing. If you can overcome these three things, you’ll begin being happier. But let’s not stop there! Let’s dive into ways to proactively increase your happiness.

How can I be happier?

If you want to be happier in life, you must understand that happiness is a mindset. It’s not your circumstances. And you don’t obtain happiness by avoiding the three main reasons that people are so unhappy that I mentioned above. The key to beginning to live a happier life is to get into a mindset of happiness. The best way to start shifting your mindset is by being thankful. Thankfulness is the beginning of happiness. This isn’t always easy, but if you can remember it in your daily life, you can start becoming a happier person.

In conclusion, remember to avoid comparison, comfort, and entitlement because circumstances do not lead to happiness. Instead, remember that thankfulness is the beginning of happiness. You can become happier by expressing gratitude, making life about more than yourself, and lastly, and ultimately, that each of us is free in Christ!PS: Am also working on myself on this matter. I post this to also find happiness in what I do, forgetting whatever challenges am having at the moment. We shall overcome by the Grace of God.

Enjoy your Life!

Life happens so fast these days. We are always on the move; we are always changing or working toward something new. The next big thing is always almost here or about to happen. We are so focused on getting where we want to be that we forget where we came from and we forget where we are in that moment. Most people would tell you that they are not happy with where they currently are. Why is this?

The world has always tried to sell this statement to the people within it: “Happiness is right around the corner.”

The truth is that happiness is not around the corner, the next thing to be excited about is what you are being sold. Happiness is temporary and based on your circumstances. Your circumstances change daily. This has become more and more troubling to me as we live in an increasingly unhappy world. The problem is not the world itself; the problem is that the people who follow Jesus are following this suite of unhappiness. We are called to be in the world, not part of it. (John 15:19)

More people would want to know Jesus and be saved if they saw genuine joy in the lives of those that call themselves believers. We are called to be different than the world. Even during difficult times in life, we are still called to be full of joy. James 1:2-3 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

1 Kings 4:29-34 speaks of how wise King Solomon was. Leaders from all around the world came to seek counsel from him. 1 Kings 4:29 says, “God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore.” Solomon says something that really sticks out to me in Ecclesiastes 3:12 “I perceived that there is nothing better for people than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live.”

In Solomon’s unmeasurable wisdom from God, he says that there is nothing better for people than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live. It seems so simple when you read it, but why aren’t we living it out?

Whatever it is that you are currently doing, stop for a minute! Refocus. Remember to enjoy your life! Your life is a gift from God. We were not created to be unhappy and unfulfilled in this life. God ultimately created us so that He could watch His creation do good works and be full of joy in the process. God created us to watch us be happy. Colossians 3:17 says, whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Have you ever thought of it that way before? God created you so He could enjoy you and for you to enjoy Him through your joyfulness in life. Today, give thanks in all things; be joyful on the journey of your life no matter what season you are in. Let God look down at His creation and see you enjoying what He has given you. Start enjoying your life today!

Source: BY

Happy Mother’s Day To Every Mother And Mother To – Be

This is my prayer for all of you.

Dear Father, we approach your throne on behalf of the mothers whom you have entrusted with the care of your most precious little ones. We thank you for creating each mom with a unique combination of gifts and talents. We thank you for the sacrifice of self each mom gives for her children. For the late nights spent rocking a colicky infant. For the hands calloused from washing, wiping, scrubbing, mixing, backing, stirring, hugging, patting, disciplining, holding, writing, erasing, painting, and pouring.

We thank you for the gift of time moms give for their kids, whether it’s stay-at-home moms, working moms, and moms who have some combination of the two. We thank you for the flexibility of moms, for their tirelessness, their perseverance, and their devotion.

We pray you give each mom strength. Help her to see in every mundane task the eternal, cosmic significance that you place on motherhood. Help her to understand that the most radical, world-changing events may be happening anonymously in her home. Help her to forgive those who undermine her significance.

We especially pray for single moms, who must lean solely on you for the fathering of their children. We thank you that you’re big arms surround children who may never know their earthly father. We also pray for mother who never had the honor of bearing children, but whose nurturing extends to the many poor and needy who crass the threshold of their lives.

Love you all!

Which Do You Prefer: Working From Home or In The Office?

Hi guys!

So currently some countries have ease the ongoing lockdown that compulsorily made everyone stay at home for a long period of time. During this lockdown, a lot have been going down. Most of us discovered a talent or two, some new skills, and ideas.

Working from home

I for one have definitely found a new skill and idea on a project.

As we all know this pandemic will change a lot of things especially one that has to do with our daily bread or businesses.

The use of technology is on a top notch level at the moment. Because that is what is used to communicate with everyone: staffs, colleagues, fellow students, etc… Well I can speak for myself that working from home can be related to working smarter and faster. It will save a lot of time and money spent on transportation and feeding. But this is not for everyone, especially those who are not used to working from home. It can be exhausting, boring, and can make one lazy that results to sleeping.

Working from the office

Now the question is thrown to you guys. Which do you prefer, and also will you continue with your choice if you were given the chance?

In all, please be safe and mask up when you go out.

Have a wonderful day!

Ease on Lockdown: Stay Alert, Mask Up, and Be Careful

Please, let me advise all my friends and family to think twice before joining the multitudes that would jump into the street by 4th of May, we can’t come this far to go back fast.

4th of May is not the expiration date for the virus, you can still contract it, so think twice before you make the decision of going out and if you finally decide to go out please, be more careful than you have been doing.
Spanish flu of 1918 killed over 50million persons reason been that when the isolation was relaxed then, people rushed into the street to begin their normal life without been mindful of the fact that the flu was still around and within the first three weeks of the relaxation, over 35million persons lost their life’s.

Let’s not give room for history to repeat itself… Extend your own lockdown beyond 4th of May if you can.

While countries like America, Italy and China were in lockdown, their government were busy disinfecting the streets of their nation. While Nigerians were on lockdown, our government were busy stealing and looting funds made for disinfecting and putting measures to checkmate the spread of the virus.

America, Italy, China are relaxing their lock down, our copy and paste government are also relaxing ours. The citizens of the above nations will go into a disinfected street while we will carelessly rush into a highly infected street….think twice.

America, China and other nations began to think of relaxing their lockdown when they started experiencing low record of Coronavirus case but our myopic government chose to relax our lockdown even when we are still experiencing massive increase of the virus.

If wisdom has eluded our leaders in aspect of decision making, let wisdom not also elude us in making our own personal decision.

Be guided, think twice, stay home and stay safe.

Those who will tell the story of this Coronavirus are those that took painstaking measures to stay indoors, you can choose to be one of us.

Stay Responsible.

Being ‘Normal’ is Costing You More Than You Think

If you’ve settled for a normal life, you’re missing out on being something more. For the sake of ‘being normal’ you’re missing out on extraordinary living

Normal is defined as conforming to a standard. To being usual, typical, or doing what is expected of you. Some synonyms for ‘normal’ are common, ordinary, customary, conventional, habitual, fixed, or traditional.

Is being normal a good or bad thing?

Based on the definition, being normal sounds good, right? If you follow the norms, you will never face questioning or be in trouble. You would fit right in, and everyone in your circle would love and admire you. It sounds like quite the cushy, comfortable life we all hope for. Yet, when you take a closer look, you will see just how dangerous ‘being normal’ can turn out for you.

Some examples of traditions/norms can include believing the teachings from childhood and never questioning it. Believing cultural/traditional rituals without ever questioning any of it. Believing that you can only reach so high, earn so much, marry a particular type of person, believe a certain way… etc.

As a guideline, if it is anything that you feel ‘forced’ or coerced into doing, or you do it out of fear, then you may be operating out of an established norm/tradition. The motives behind why you are doing what you do are seriously important.

The traditions of man or culture,, may create life limitations. Each society has its own culture, its own acceptable ways of living and of life. You can be ostracized and criticized if you go against the cultural norms of society.

A ‘normal’ life means that I have accepted the norms of my people and the limitations they impose on me.

The danger lies therein, because once we accept something as ‘normal’ we limit our ability to receive beyond that. ‘Normal,’ creates boundaries and stifles creativity, it discourages the unlimited life that God has for us. The way you see yourself, is what matters most.

You can’t change society or cultural norms, but you can choose your beliefs and change yourself.

God has a life without limits for you. Every time a limitation arises, as a stronghold, take it into your secret place with God. Meditate on His love for you, and on His word, and you will see the boundaries of those limitations removed.

With Christ in you, there are NO LIMITATIONS on what He can do, and what He wants to do in your life and through you.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2

Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you. Allow the Holy Spirit to inwardly transform you through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.

Guest post from:

Why (and How) God Tests Our Faith

Now that God has refined you, He’ll test your faith like gold. This is where a lot of believers become discouraged and give up.

When faced with a situation that tests your faith in God, how do you respond? Many times, our initial prayer is for God to deliver us from the situation. We may even beg Him for it. But I’ve learned that God doesn’t deliver us from a test because the purpose of the test is actually to deliver us.

It can be difficult to understand why a good and perfect God allows us to go through trying situations. The reason is simple: sanctification. God is transforming us into the image of His son, Jesus Christ. God tests us for our good; to develop our faith. Testing is not something we should despise because it’s a chance to show the genuineness of our faith and glorify our Lord.

Testing Reveals What is in Us

This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’” – Malachi 3:3 NIV

The bible tells us that God refines and tests us like silver and gold. To understand what that looks like practically, you first have to understand how silver is refined. In short, the silversmith places the silver in a fire and watches it very carefully. He knows the silver is ready when he can clearly see his reflection (or image) in the metal.

When you’re in a trial or test, does God see His image and character in you? Or are your carnal ways of thinking still leading your behavior? Do you exhibit the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control,etc…) or are you led by your flesh? Will you doubt God or trust Him if a less qualified person is given the promotion you’ve been praying for? Do you slander that person’s name to everyone around you or do you ask God to remove the bitterness and still serve at your job as unto the Lord? When faced with a test, what is in you will come out of you. How we respond determines if God moves us forward in His will or allows us to spend a bit more time in our current season.

Testing Removes Impurities From us

As you grow in your faith you’ll begin passing more and more tests. It’s a great feeling, but even though you’re on the right track you shouldn’t get too comfortable. Now that God has refined you, He’ll test you like gold.

Gold is naturally impure. To purify it, the goldsmith must put into the furnace repeatedly. With each pass through the fire it becomes more pure. This is why there are different karats of gold (8,16,24). The higher the karat the more pure it is, with 24 karat being the purest. If we want our faith in God to pure and indestructible like gold, our faith has to go through the fire again and again. Although we’ve been made right with God through our faith in Jesus, the remnant of our sinful nature is still within us. Our sanctification doesn’t happen all at once, it’s a process.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. – 1 Peter 4:12-13 NIV

This is where a lot of believers become discouraged and give up. We don’t know when the tests will come, how long they will last, or how intense they will be. Like the Israelite’s in the desert, we can grow weary and start to believe God has forsaken us in the very place He brought us to. In our weakness and fear, we attempt to take matters into our own hands instead of waiting on God (See Exodus 32 NIV).

“If your faith doesn’t cost you anything it’s because it s not worth anything”

Your Faith Will Cost You

To follow Christ we must pick up our cross and deny ourselves. This requires dying to our own desires and ways of thinking. The tests we go through are design to kill our flesh so we learn to rely on the Holy Spirit. It’s a fight not to go back to self-medicating or finding our worth in a relationship. It’s a struggle to stay faithful at work when you’re being overlooked or discredited. Trials feels like the complete opposite of what life in Christ should be, but it’s not. The purpose of the test is to grow your faith, free you from bondage, and increase your dependency on God. Shallow beliefs and idols won’t last in the trial, they’ll will be ruined by the fire. Only what is true and pure will remain.

Friends, don’t fear the fire – the tests and trials. The fire isn’t designed to destroy you, but to remove everything that’s been holding you back from God’s perfect will. If you stay steadfast, you will glorify God and come to know His power in a brand new way. Your triumph will be a testimony to believers and unbelievers alike. Now this isn’t to say that it will get easier, but you will become stronger, wiser, and not as easily swayed by storms that come your way.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. – James 1:2-4 NIV

Source: Daily PS

Instant Pot Christian: Are You Changed in An Instant?

Have you ever purchased a new item only to feel overwhelmed when you go to use it? It’s so new and different that you don’t even know where to begin. A new Christian may often feel this way as he/she learns to navigate the Christian life. There is no instant pot Christians.

That’s how I felt when I took my instant pot out of the box. It wasn’t a crockpot where I could just toss things in and turn on. The instant pot has so many buttons and options. And, within each feature, there are more features! It’s a completely new way of cooking, and I just couldn’t figure it out was I went. The instant pot was a new way of life and I needed to learn and understand how to use it. I thought I’d be making fancy meals right out of the box, instead I needed to start with the basics.

There’s No Instant Pot Christianity

For those of us who have been followers of Jesus, we sometimes anticipate an instant pot Christian. We expect the moment someone believes, their life is instantly changed to what we expect a Christian to look like and speak. There is no instant pot Christians.

If Christianity was about molding a person to a specific set of standards and conduct, we’d have a religion with a group of people that looked, dressed, and acted the same.

Christianity is the Transformation of Lives by the Power of God

In Romans 12:2, Paul writes that we are not to conform but be transformed. Conforming, by definition, is to comply with rules and laws. Conforming does not indicate there is new life within you; instead, it’s an indication that you are are a rule follower. Anyone can conform to a set of rules. However, true life transformation is by the power of God. This is the power that changes lives.

When you come to Christ, you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). Your previous way of life and thinking are no longer relevant, but it takes time to learn God’s way. There are no instant pot Christians. You learn His ways by consistently renewing your mind. As you renew your mind, your life is being transformed, from the inside out, into the same image as the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:18).

I remember my own journey as a new believer five years ago. Theologies and terminologies were overwhelming. I would call the language of mature believers “Christianese” for I didn’t understand what it meant when “God spoke to you” or “being saved”. My attempts for understanding through the Bible only led to more questions. My previous ideas of life needed reprogramming. I didn’t need a new set of rules to follow, I needed a reboot of my operating system.

This is what the transforming power of God does, it wipes out our old operating system and puts in a new one.

The More I know, the Less I Understand

Fast forward five years later, and I have a deeper understanding of God, but I also have many unanswered questions. Unanswered questions is good for it keeps us seeking God. We will never understand the ways of God, and we must learn to accept the mystery of God. God doesn’t think the way we do for He is greater than us and so are His thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Because we are made in His image, we can relate to His thoughts, but we cannot understand Him. It’s like a young child who can relate to the thoughts of his parent but cannot understand his parent at the same time. As parents, we have experiences and a larger picture to base our decisions. So it is with us and God for we are His children and do not understand the ways of God. We need to be okay accepting the mysteries of God.

We get ourselves into a lot of trouble when we think we have God figured out. And, when God doesn’t act the way we expect Him, this leads to disappointment and a crisis of faith.

While we may have lots of questions, God reveals truth to us in His time. The Holy Spirit will teach you everything you need (John 14:26). Remember, your life is not built in an instant for there are no instant pot Christian.

Christianity is not an instant pot. You are not changed in an instant. Instead, by the power of God, and over time, you will find your life tranformed. Don’t allow anyone recieve you, you are a work in progress.

Thanks to CHRISSY PETRAITIS for this piece.

Do Small Things Greatly

Our concern shouldn’t be that our task is small. Instead, we should be asking: Am I doing my task greatly, regardless of its size or seemingly importance?

Life is full of small things, isn’t it? I don’t mean snails and sand fleas. No, I mean the small choices we make, like taking care of our bodies, and tasks we complete, like home and work responsibilities. Since “small” or seemingly routine, non-earth-shattering items construct the majority of our time, perhaps they aren’t so insignificant after all.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for daring adventures and if you follow my personal blog, you know I just returned from traveling two weeks in Italy. Everything in its place, right? Although life certainly has its mountain-top moments, it’s also good to adventure on the small scale.

Truth is, God cares about and can use our ordinary, less-than-glamorous moments just as much as those bucket-list accomplishments.

Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at the Bible in 1 Chronicles. Now this book holds its share of hurdles, including chapters of genealogies, but it also holds a challenge relevant to our lives.

In 1 Chronicles 9:29-34, we find a short account of appointed responsibilities in the house of God and who was charged with what task. Maybe you’re thinking, “So what?” Stay with me and take a look at verse 29:

“Some of them were appointed over the furnishings and over all the implements of the sanctuary, and over the fine flour and the wine and the oil and the incense and the spices” (NKJV).

Overseeing vessels and instruments in the temple’s sanctuary seem like trivial tasks. Making the ointment of the spices (verse 30) or keeping inventory of the flour, wine, oil and other spices (verse 29) don’t sound especially exciting to me. If that job posting opened today, none of us would probably sign up for it.

However, these details were important enough to record in Scripture. In fact, these small tasks proved vital to the efficiency and order in the house of God.

If you’re like me, we’re often so focused on doing something “big” for God that we trip over the little things. For example, how was our attitude toward that task we didn’t especially enjoy?

Yet God cares about our response to appointments great and small. We see this again and again in Scripture.

  • “Let all things be done decently and in order” (I Corinthians 14:40 NKJV).
  • “Do all things without complaining and disputing” (Philippians 2:14).
  • “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).
  • “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17).
  • “But you be watchful in all things … fulfill your ministry” (2 Timothy 4:5).

In other words, the big and the small assignments both matter. I like how Helen Keller summarized this idea:

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”

NB: Do something small as if they were great today.

Learn Something New During This Lockdown

Hey guys!

I will dive straight through on the topic today. Hope you learning something new during this lockdown.

This is an opportunity for everyone of us to be creative in whatever area we find ourselves. It is not easy to be on a lockdown, the boredom alone can get people crazy. But it depends on those who know how to manage the situation.

Skills you can learn

  1. Cooking/ Baking
  2. Graphics design
  3. Photography
  4. Writing/ blogging
  5. Makeup
  6. Video Editing

And many more…

Whatever you want to do, you can do, don’t be idle.

In all, stay safe✌

How to Avoid Toxic Venting

This is a sponsored post.

Hello guys, been a while, trust you all doing well and staying safe. This too will pass very soon.Venting can be a healthy way to express frustration, but when it becomes toxic, it creates a cycle of negativity that’s hard to repair. Though it feels good to vent in the moment, toxic venting creates significant anger and resentment that is unhealthy for you and your relationships.

On the other hand, healthy venting helps you to heal and move forward. By reasoning things out with someone else, you gain clarity on what’s happening. Confiding in someone often lessens the pain because you feel supported. You avoid getting stuck in all that negativity.

What is Toxic Venting?

Toxic venting feels like an attack on someone’s character. Whether you are the one venting, or you’re listening to someone else do it, this communication makes the other person out to be “the bad guy.” This type of bad-mouthing becomes an intense form of gossip.

With toxic venting, the person gets fixated on the other person’s faults. There is no rationale, only targeted rage. Instead of feeling momentarily upset, the venting mimics contempt, which according to The Gottman Institute for Couples Therapy is the single best predictor of divorce.

Examples of contempt include:

  • Name-calling, put downs or criticisms that hit below the belt
  • Acting like the other person “is beneath you”, lazy or stupid
  • Making comparisons to another person or implying they don’t deserve you
  • A lack of accountability for your part in the situation

But toxic venting isn’t just about complaining. It’s telling the same story repeatedly from a victim’s point of view. This behavior fuels gossip and resentment which can make them difficult to give up. Unfortunately, some people feed off of a juicy story!

Those who learn this type of behavior as children, may rely on it a way to get attention. Listening to family tell negative stories makes an impact on how we view conflict. These negative stories become almost entertaining, but unfortunately, at someone else’s expense.

Primary Examples of Toxic Venting

  • Repeatedly criticizing someone’s character but rarely acknowledging their good qualities
  • Complaining about what others do but never admitting your own behavior
  • Implying that someone is less than, stupid or worthless in any way

Each time the person re-tells the negative story, the emotional intensity makes it harder to forgive and move forward. Over time, this can impact physical health and create stress-related illnesses.

Living in the negative story feels draining even though temporarily it gives us energy. Over time, people who are emotionally healthy become repelled by the behavior. Some may distance themselves as a way to avoid having to listen to it.

What is Healthy Venting?

When venting is healthy, the boundaries are clear; you are expressing frustration to get support and seek solutions. It’s not a free-for-all to say whatever you are thinking out loud. There are firm limits that don’t get crossed.

Healthy venting acknowledges frustration while not getting stuck in the feelings. When the person vents in a healthy way, their focus is to get relief, not to be right. The person can communicate what’s upsetting without blame or condemning the other person. While this may include some complaining, it’s not the primary focus. Healthy venting addresses what’s not working while brain storming solutions.

Tips for Healthy Venting

  • Reaching out to trusted friends to reason things out
  • Expressing yourself through “I” statements which keeps the focus on feelings
  • Acknowledging anger and other emotions without getting into character attacks
  • Writing in a journal to express yourself without being censored

Final Thoughts

When done constructively, healthy venting helps you recognize what needs to change in order to seek solutions. Making an effort to see things from the other person’s point of view tranforms the story. For instance, instead of getting increasingly upset, you start to empathize with the other person. You can hold two different points of view rather than being right.

Healthy venting provides a sense of emotional release and connection because you feel heard. Acknowledging your upset in a healthy way makes it possible to resolve issues without damaging the relationship. That way, everyone wins!

Source: Michelle Farris

Prayer Is The Motivation We Need Right Now

Dear Father,

Thank You that we get to be a part of Your global Church at this moment. Thank You for the opportunity to spread Your love and hope to a world living in darkness and despair.

Your Word says that if Your people humble themselves, turn away from wickedness, and call on Your name, that You will answer them and heal their land.

So we, Your people, are asking Your forgiveness for the times we’ve chosen not to love the people You put in front of us.

Allow this season to strengthen Your Church and to remind us of how much You love this hurting world.

Please heal our land and use us to meet the needs of others. Grow our faith as You grow Your global Church.

Come, Lord Jesus, and do what only You can do.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Let us spread Faith and not Fear.

Covid19: Motivating Yourself While Working From Home

Studies have shown that working from home can increase productivity; however, without proper checks & balances put in place, it can spiral into a lonely and weird feeling that might lead to a Lack of Motivation. Here are a few tips to motivate yourself and increase your productivity while working from home.

Have A Dedicated Workspace

Within your home, find your concentration zone and make use of it each time you intend to get some work done. As much as possible, avoid working on the bed, playroom, and the living room except you can prevent or control any distraction caused by people around you or your environment.

Wrong way to work from home.

Get Dressed Like A Professional

Since the mindset for work has been accustomed to a semi-professional dress code, being too casually dressed can hinder one’s brain from getting set for some serious task, so get out of those pyjamas right away!

Set Boundaries for Family and Friends

Depending on the set up of your home, friends and family are more likely to see you around more often. Make them understand that you are not on vacation and would be grateful if they left you to work at certain hours of the day. This also means that you should resist the urge to invite guests to your house during this period.

Create An Activity Schedule

Working from home demands concentration and dedication; therefore, you should create an activity plan or task schedule to help you remain organised and productive. Set up automated reminders for important tasks, online meetings, and deadlines; decide ahead how you’re going to proceed each workday.

Get The Right Tools and Facilities for The Job

Especially in Nigeria and some other developing countries, working from home requires certain facilities which you always enjoyed at your office, such as internet service and electricity supply. Endeavour to find out what quantity of data will be adequate for your work as well as what network works perfectly in your residence. Try to make the best use of times when you are supplied electricity by the power company and get an alternative source of electricity if you can afford it.

Adopt Apps To Control Your Social Media Usage Each Day

Social media interaction and entertainment has been a major distraction over the years, even at workplaces; working from home could further aggravate the distraction rate if it is not intentionally controlled. It is therefore important to research and invest in getting tools that can help you manage your time on those platforms. Moment; App-detox; Stay on Task; Break-free & Stay Focused are some of the most commonly used Apps for this purpose.

Avoid Procrastination

Do not give room for the postponement of any task that can be completed immediately. Do not derail from your daily schedule and avoid the urge to do house chores during your working hours; instead, schedule an appropriate time to get them done so that they don’t interfere with your work.

Take a Lunch and Walk Break

While working at home, time tends to move very quickly, especially when you aim at completing scheduled tasks. Indeed, you can sometimes forget to eat or change your sitting position for hours. Do not neglect the need to go on your usual lunch break like you would do if you were at the office; furthermore, take a few minutes to walk around, it helps you stretch your muscles and makes you feel refreshed. For every 55 minutes of work, you can indulge yourself in about 10-15 minutes of break to grab a cup of water or just get some fresh air.

Reward Yourself For Good Behavior and Concentration

For productivity sake, promise to give yourself a treat at the end of the day or after completing a strenuous task. When you feel satisfied with what you have achieved at the end of the day or week, put something together to reward your diligence and commitment.

Plan To Interact With Others At Specific Times

Staying at home to work can sometimes be mentally stressful and breed the feeling of loneliness; therefore, while practising self-isolation during this crucial period, endeavour to often interact with people living with or around you, just like you would with your colleagues at work.

Finally, working from home demands a lot of discipline and commitment on your part; however, you might not fully enjoy its benefits until you have been fully immersed in it. One last task which must not be overlooked while working from home is to Workout or Exercise regularly during the day. This helps your muscles to relax, improve your breathing, boost your immune system, focus your energy on what matters, and sometimes, inspire solutions to a task that has been proving difficult to solve.

In the midst of the virus outbreak, we are all advised to work from home, especially those who are career oriented. Let’s obey the rules as it will help stopping the spread of this pandemic virus.Be Safe!Source: Big Field Digital Ibadan Nigeria.