Why Most People Close to You Get Mad When You Start Loving Yourself More

Hey guys, I know a lot of you can relate to this.

Some people get mad when you start loving yourself more because now you say no a lot more than yes. Now you use your voice and say things they’re not used to hearing from you. Now you know your worth and you don’t settle for the bits and pieces you used to settle for when you were still healing and figuring yourself out. Now you’re more aware of who wants to take advantage of you and who is lying and who is trying to trick you. Now you protect yourself even if it means letting others down.

Some people get mad because they miss the old version of you. The one they liked and got used to. The one they could easily manipulate because they knew that you would always be there, you would always put their needs above your own and they knew that you would always choose them over yourself. Now you keep choosing yourself and putting yourself first and it’s not serving them anymore. Now you don’t care if they abandon you or leave you or stop hanging out with you because you’re finally loving your own company and realizing that you’re perfectly fine without some people’s love and approval. Now you’re focusing on yourself and making things happen and it’s pissing some people off.

And it’s not always out of ill will or bad intentions but that one friend liked it when you would accommodate them whenever they needed you at their convenience and you never said a word. That ex liked the fact you were still hung up on them even after all the hurt they’ve caused you. That one boss liked it when they would belittle you so they could take all the credit because they knew you wouldn’t complain. That one family member liked it when they would blame you for all their failures and clear themselves from all their wrongdoings. It’s simple, people don’t like it when you see through their lies and manipulations. People don’t like it when you used to let things go but now you speak up. People don’t like it when you used to make them feel good about themselves but now you call them out and people don’t like it when you treat them the same way they treat you.

Some people get mad when you start loving yourself more because it means that you will no longer let things slide or be available to their disrespect or tolerate their behaviour, and these are the exact people who made you question your self-worth and made you feel like you don’t deserve more. They would always pull you back in their web whenever you tried to break free but nothing feels better than releasing yourself from this web and from their judgments. Nothing feels better than betting on yourself and winning. Nothing feels better than looking these people in the eye and they no longer get to you, they no longer intimidate you, they no longer have a soft spot, and they’re no longer on a pedestal. Nothing feels better than putting people back in their place and putting yourself first instead.

Your peace of mind and sanity is very important.

The Tiny Little Secret That Gives You Permission To Enjoy Anything

Boy I love a cheesy title every once in a while. Like the one above. Yes, I know it’s cheesy, but you know what? I decided to like it. Even more, I decided to enjoy it.

And with that, the secret – because there is a secret, the title didn’t lie – is already suggested.

Ok, let’s not waste more time on this: the secret is decision. The conscious decision to enjoy stuff. Time spent enjoying is time well spent. You can’t be really miserable if you consciously enjoy something. So, if you really want to enjoy anything, all you have to do is to decide you’re gonna do that. That’s all. That’s the secret.

I’m not saying to be delusional, to fake enjoyment when you’re hurt. Hurt happens. And it’s real. Pain is real. I’m not saying to deny it. But try to enjoy the fact that you can still feel pain. The fact that you’re still alive. After a while the pain will go away. It’s bound to be like this, everything changes. The pain, the pleasure, the sadness, the joy, all of them are going to fade away. That’s our condition on this earth.

We can’t control that. We can’t stop time in its track. We can’t freeze this second and relive it again and again and again. Time will catch us from behind and crash us, moving forward.

The only thing we can control is how we react to this change. That’s the secret, the reaction, the conscious decision we take while witnessing the change. Circumstances are blending around us and sometimes they’re perceived as good, sometimes as bad. But beyond good and bad there’s this basic pleasure, this unexplainable feeling of fulfillment that you’re still here, in the stream, existing.

Tip 4: How To Help Soneone Get More Help

If it feels like the person is really struggling to cope:

  • Would you like to get some help?
  • Have you tried contacting your GP?
  • Would you like me to accompany you?
  • Did you know you don’t have to be feeling suicidal to call Samaritans?
  • Samaritans is free, 24hrs a day if you’re feeling low or worried too.
  • If it helps, you can talk to me or anyone trust anytime.

Hope these tips were helpful?

Share if necessary.

The Happiness You Seek May Not Present Itself The Way You Had Anticipated

Who can relate?

Since happiness can come in many forms, such as joy, fulfillment, contentment, euphoria, etc. It can sometimes be difficult to see when you have accomplished your goal of being happy.

If this sounds strange, then look at it this way.

If you had imagined that to be really happy you would need to be retired, with an excellent pension, so that you have both the time and money to do things you enjoy, then it can come as a surprise to find that if you simply reorganise your working week, go part-time and prioritize your hobbies, you are already nearly there!

The reason for this is that you had anticipated needing time and wealth in order to be happy, when what you actually needed was time and the ability to reallocate your resources. Furthermore, you may have expected that you would need to retire in order to free up your time when in fact cutting down on your working hours, or working from home part of the week can also accomplish the same thing.

Necessarily, if you are willing to encompass happiness in whatever form it may present itself, and even to enjoy it in different forms according to the occasion., then you are likely to lie low in far more places than you imagined, just waiting to be unearthed and enjoyed. Don’t forget that the journey can provide happiness along the way too, so try to get into the habit of enjoying what you have, at each point along the way.

NB: Happiness can both be subjective and elusive, but it can also be found in the most unlikely places, and on a daily basis.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Thankfulness Is The Beginning Of Happiness: Why Are People So Unhappy?

We’re all searching for happiness in life. But many of us look in the wrong places. Start with thankfulness. Thankfulness is the beginning of happiness!As a human race, people are more unhappy than ever before. I’ve discovered that there are three main reasons for this decline in our overall happiness. The three main reasons for our unhappiness are comparison, comfort, and entitlement. I’ll explain each in detail below.

#1. Comparison

Thanks to big media, TV, movies, and even social media platforms, we’re always comparing ourselves to someone else. Comparison will steal your happiness quicker than anything else. The key to overcoming the comparison game is to take these things for what they are. Remember, online, and on TV, you’re seeing someone’s best. Both their successes and their failures, you see it polished and made interesting for you. At the end of the day, each of us are human, and what you see on a screen is not reality. Stop comparing yourself!

#2. Comfort

This is the silent killer. Do you want to die faster? Live a comfortable life. I could really go on a rant about comfort, but I’ll save it for a content later. Here’s the summary, comfort is an illusion. The more comfortable you are consistently, the less happy you’ll be. The more uncomfortable you are, the more you push yourself and don’t allow yourself to relax, the happier you will be. (In moderation, of course) If you want to be happier in life, get off the couch, do something crazy that makes you really uncomfortable, stretch yourself!

#3. Entitlement

I’ve heard many people say that because Buhari is the president, they’ve felt more unhappy. GROW UP. Since when is it someone else’s responsibility to make you happy? News flash, life isn’t about you, and it never will be. Yes, I know, I’m being harsher than I usually am here. But many people need to hear this. Life isn’t about you, stop acting like it is. Take responsibility for your life and circumstances. Make the best of every season that you’re in. If there’s something you don’t like happening around you, fill the gap, be the solution instead of the complaining voice. (Remember, I love you all! I’ll stop being harsh now.)

One more thing, happiness is not circumstantial.

Happiness doesn’t come from having a great job or owning a successful business, and it doesn’t come from being debt-free or extremely wealthy. It doesn’t come from being in a stable relationship or having a lot of friends. Everything I just mentioned makes you FEEL happy, but it’s all a by product. Happiness is a mindset, not a set of circumstances.

Obviously, there are more reasons why people are so unhappy than I mentioned above. I have found these three reasons to be the root of the happiness crisis that we’re facing. If you can overcome these three things, you’ll begin being happier. But let’s not stop there! Let’s dive into ways to proactively increase your happiness.

How can I be happier?

If you want to be happier in life, you must understand that happiness is a mindset. It’s not your circumstances. And you don’t obtain happiness by avoiding the three main reasons that people are so unhappy that I mentioned above. The key to beginning to live a happier life is to get into a mindset of happiness. The best way to start shifting your mindset is by being thankful. Thankfulness is the beginning of happiness. This isn’t always easy, but if you can remember it in your daily life, you can start becoming a happier person.

In conclusion, remember to avoid comparison, comfort, and entitlement because circumstances do not lead to happiness. Instead, remember that thankfulness is the beginning of happiness. You can become happier by expressing gratitude, making life about more than yourself, and lastly, and ultimately, that each of us is free in Christ!PS: Am also working on myself on this matter. I post this to also find happiness in what I do, forgetting whatever challenges am having at the moment. We shall overcome by the Grace of God.

You Can’t Please Everyone: Live Your Life

I used to be stubborn to change. Back then, if it’s “not like me” to do something, then I just wouldn’t do it. However this mindset held me back from growing and evolving like we should be.


People will say shit like “you’ve changed,” but isn’t that something we should all be doing (for the better)? Obviously the 21 year old you will have to approach life differently than the 12 year old you did.

I feel like if you want change to happen in your life, you’re going to HAVE to do something out of your comfort zone — or something that will eventually break you out of your normal routine and tendencies. Eventually your new habits and perspective will make you seem like a different person, but I just like to view it as someone who grew and learned. Some moments in life may require you to be that 12 year old you. Other moments will need you to be the 21 year old you. Either way, you can’t expect to please everyone with your personality. You’re the one living your life, not them, so ya do what ya need to do to succeed.