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When You Start Showing Up Fully In Your Life, You Stop Caring About Who Might Be Better Than You

The way we see other people is often a reflection of how we see ourselves.
In fact, it is our most extreme reactions to other people that are often the most revealing. When we are intensely jealous of someone to the point of hatred, there is usually a reason. When we cannot stop comparing ourselves to someone else, there is usually a reason.

That reason is that there is something about them, or their lives, that we secretly aspire to have.

We might deny it, we might try to hide it, we might villainize them and victimize ourselves in order to feel better about it.

But in the end, when we are totally preoccupied about who is better than us, more attractive than us, more successful than us, or happier than us, it is always because there is a huge, gaping hole within us that we do not yet know how to fill.

We fill it with action.

We fill it by showing up.

We fill it by no longer neglecting our true desires and our deep needs.

We fill it by going after the life we really want.

We fill it by rising to the challenge, adapting to the competition, and becoming the absolute best version of ourselves.

Do you know what happens when you start showing up fully in your own life? You stop caring about who might be better than you.

When you think you look the best you possibly can, you stop caring that someone might look better. When you think you are doing the best you possibly can, you stop caring that someone might do better. When you think you are being the best you possibly can, you stop caring that someone might be better.

That insecurity almost always comes from our subconscious awareness that we are not doing all that we are capable of, and that person is. Instead of pointing out our own fault, we project it onto them, shaming, belittling, or trying to make them seem to be less than what they are.

This is not effective.

This does not do anything but make us seem petty and small.

Throwing shade at someone else’s light does not make you shine brighter, it only reveals the darkness within you.

The truth is that you don’t actually want to be better than other people, you just want to feel like you are enough, and you are never going to feel like you are enough if you aren’t showing up and trying to do what you truly want to do.

Worthiness is both something we are born with, and yet, something we must prove to ourselves over time. Nobody wakes up with profound confidence, it is something they build by getting out into the world and showing themselves that they are capable of what they desire.

The same is true here.

Someone else’s beauty does not make you less beautiful, someone else’s success does not make you less successful, someone else’s well being does not make you less healthy.

There is enough shine for everyone, there is enough success for everyone, there is enough goodness for everyone.

Instead of fighting to have someone else’s taken away, it’s time to start chasing your own.

When you really start showing up as the person you want to be, you’ll never again fear that you aren’t measuring up to someone else’s standard, because you’re measuring up to your own — and that’s all you really want anyway.

This is a guest post from Briana Weist.

Celebrate Your Silent Milestones

You should also celebrate the things that aren’t as obvious, that are invisible to the eye. You should celebrate the fact that you’ve gone a few days without engaging with anyone toxic. That you’ve gone a few weeks without falling back into your bad habits. That you’ve gone a few months treating yourself with more kindness than in the past.

You should celebrate the fact that you’ve grown into a stronger person within the last few years. Your heart has reformed. Your personality has reshaped. You might not be able to see your progress, because it’s not something you can track the same way you can track the money in your bank account, but the results are hidden right there.

Take a second to think about how far you’ve come. Not in terms of your career or your love life. As a living, breathing human being. Throughout these last few years, you’ve grown more mature. More responsible. More accountable. More aware of your own feelings. You’re turning into a slightly better person each and every day, even if you aren’t able to see that yet.

When you’re feeling down about how far behind you feel, about how much you’re struggling to reach your dreams, you have to remember the material items you own and the external accomplishments you can brag about online aren’t the only signs of success.

Your silent milestones matter, too. They’re worth celebrating, even if you’re celebrating on your own. You might not be able to brag about them on social media, but it doesn’t matter if anyone else recognizes how much you’ve grown. All that matters is that you realize. That you see how much you’ve done. That you understand you aren’t a failure, you aren’t doing as poorly as you think, you aren’t actually a screwup.

Your silent milestones matters more than you realize.

Which Do You Prefer: Working From Home or In The Office?

Hi guys!

So currently some countries have ease the ongoing lockdown that compulsorily made everyone stay at home for a long period of time. During this lockdown, a lot have been going down. Most of us discovered a talent or two, some new skills, and ideas.

Working from home

I for one have definitely found a new skill and idea on a project.

As we all know this pandemic will change a lot of things especially one that has to do with our daily bread or businesses.

The use of technology is on a top notch level at the moment. Because that is what is used to communicate with everyone: staffs, colleagues, fellow students, etc… Well I can speak for myself that working from home can be related to working smarter and faster. It will save a lot of time and money spent on transportation and feeding. But this is not for everyone, especially those who are not used to working from home. It can be exhausting, boring, and can make one lazy that results to sleeping.

Working from the office

Now the question is thrown to you guys. Which do you prefer, and also will you continue with your choice if you were given the chance?

In all, please be safe and mask up when you go out.

Have a wonderful day!

8 Things the Smartest Leaders Do to Motivate Their Employees

Science has found that positive emotions are at the root of human motivation. It’s how employees “feel” that will drive the motivation deep within them. Here’s where to start.

Usually I don’t go deep to writing about organisations and their staffs, but this is monday I had to post this.

Let me share eight strategies to help managers create the right atmosphere for motivating others.

1. Start with scheduling more one on one time.

Get off on the right track by making consistent clear goals and expectations an operational reality. You do that through the lost art of one-on-one conversations — a great motivational tool. Leaders thrive when they strengthen relationships with their people by spending more one-on-one time with them to hear their suggestions, ideas, problems and issues as well as talking about performance issues and their work. But first, you need to know how to structure these meetings so that it works to your advantage.

2. Find out what motivates them.

Do you know what gets your team members out of bed in the morning? What they’re passionate about — their goals, aspirations, and interests? In other words, do you really know your team members? Great leaders show an interest in their people’s jobs and career aspirations in order to motivate them the right way. Once that’s been established, they look into the future to create learning and development opportunities for their people. They find out what motivates their best people by getting to know what desires will drive each team member. This is about emotional engagement.

3. Provide the resources they need to do their work exceptionally well.

It’s a simple question, but you’d be surprised how often it is not asked: What do you need right now to do your job better? You may be surprised, or even shocked at the answer; it could be that they need access to more information to make the right decisions, bettter equipment or even another work space. Acting on what you find out will be a huge motivational booster.

4. Praise and compliment them often.

“I don’t like to be recognized,” said no human being, ever. Managers have to get into the habit of praising and complimenting their people for their good qualities and work. The companies in Gallup’s study with the highest engagement levels use recognition and praise as a powerful motivator to get their commitment. They found that employees who receive it on a regular basis increase their individual productivity, receive higher loyalty and satisfaction scores from customers, and are more likely to stay with their organization. How regular are we talking? Praise should be given once per week, according to Gallup.

5. Help co-create purposeful work.

People want meaning and purpose in their work. In the book Give and Take, Wharton professor Adam Grant says that when people find purpose in their work, it not only improves that person’s happiness, it also boosts productivity. One way to give employees that purpose, according to Grant, is to have them meet the very people they are helping and serving, even if just for a few minutes. Managers giving their people access to customers so they can see firsthand the human impact their work makes is the greatest human motivator, says Grant.

6. Help them develop new skills.

Although important, I’m not so much talking about putting them through another required technical or safety training program to keep them or the business compliant, but actually giving them meaningful new skills or knowledge in other areas that they can use to leverage their natural strengths for future roles, whether with their current company or another company. The point is to serve and value them so exceptionally well as people and workers that they have no reason to leave but use their newfound skills for new projects.

7. Actively involve them.

Great managers recognize that leadership doesn’t travel one way but is multi-directional. While it can come from the top down at critical times, the best scenario is allowing decisions, information, and delegation to travel from peer to peer or from the bottom up, where the collective wisdom and involvement of the whole team help solve real issues in real time on the frontlines.

8. Believe in them.

The best managers delegate often and give their employees responsibility for delivering challenging work. If this doesn’t happen in your workplace, consider two hard questions:

  • Do you trust your knowledge workers to do what they’ve been hired to do?
  • Do they have the right competence for the job to carry out the work with confidence?

So often managers underestimate the potential and ability of their employees to use their brains! If you answered yes to the questions above, be of the mindset to always accept that they can do the work. Then, give them the room to perform and support them with whatever they need to make them even better. This is how you motivate them to the rafters.

11 Powerful Affirmations To Use Daily

Affirmations are a great way to prime our minds for success, repeating positive affirmations daily can have a profound effect on the way we see ourselves and the world around us. Starting the day with positive affirmations can help us to set the tone for anything we want to achieve thereafter.

  1. I am worthy of what I seek.
  2. I am capable of greatness.
  3. I am good enough.
  4. I am worthy of love.
  5. I am grateful to be alive today.
  6. I can have anything I desire.
  7. I am worthy of a loving relationship.
  8. I see myself with unconditional positive regard.
  9. I am in the process of manifesting my dream life.
  10. I refuse to settle for anything less than my true worth.
  11. I am grateful for the people I surround myself with.

Be positive with a sound vibe!

Never Stop Chasing Your Dreams

Never give up because you’re lucky to have something you feel this passionately about pursuing. Some people search their whole lives for meaning, for a purpose, for an outlet that brings them happiness. You’ve already found that thing, which means you’re one step closer to your dreams than most people because you actually know what your dreams are. You know what you want. You just have to go out there and get it.

Never give up because you’re not going to know what you’re capable of achieving unless you keep going. You’re never going to have any idea of how far you would’ve gone if you allow yourself to stop prematurely. Besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you keep chasing after your dreams? You might not reach them? At least, if you’re actively trying, then you have a chance at success. If you give up now, then it’s guaranteed that you’re never going to get where you wish you were. You might as well put the odds in your favor.

Never give up because persistence is even more crucial than talent. You’re not going to achieve all of your dreams in a short amount of time. You’re not going to get rewarded overnight. It’s going to be a long ride. You’re going to have to remain patient. You’re going to have to stay motivated, even when you feel like you’re off your game. You’re going to have to keep trying, even when the world is warning you you’re wasting your time.

Never give up because you’re going to regret it if you give up on your dreams. You’re going to look back on your decision to stop and wish you would have put in a little more effort, a little more time. You don’t want your future self to be pissed at your current self. Do yourself a favor and continue chasing after your dreams. Even if you don’t reach your goals, at least you won’t have to stay up late at night for the rest of your life worrying about the what ifs.

Never give up because you deserve to see your hard work pay off. You deserve to call yourself successful. You deserve to be proud of yourself. Right now, you might be questioning whether you’re good enough, but you cannot allow your insecurities to hold you back. Even once you reach your goal, you’re still going to have doubts. The nagging voice in the back of your mind is never going to go away, so you have to learn to live with it. You have to realize that even though what it’s saying might sound true doesn’t mean it is true.

Never give up because you’re making more progress than you realize. You’re closer to your destination that you would ever imagine. You might not be able to see it now — and if you give up, then you’re never going to see it. You’re never going to know how many more steps you needed to take to reach your dreams. That’s why you have to keep going. You can’t give up on yourself. You can’t let go of your wildest dreams.

A guest post and credit to Holly Riordan.

Your Reaction Matters More Than What Happens To You

Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot, and ground coffee beans in the third pot.

He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing.

After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the boiled eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup. Turning to her he asked. ‘Daughter, what do you see?’

‘Potatoes, eggs, and coffee,’ she hastily replied.

‘Look closer,’ he said, ‘and touch the potatoes.’ She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.

‘Father, what does this mean?’ she asked.

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity– the boiling water.

However, each one reacted differently.

The potato went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak.

The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

‘Which are you,’ he asked his daughter. ‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?’

An inspirational story for someone today never to give up but be hopeful for someday the light will shine.

Credit to January Nelson

Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life

Originally posted on THE POSITIVITY BLOG.

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favorite tips from him.

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behavior and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling.

If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth.

You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of.

They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself.

To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding.

But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways.

Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions.

When you are more lighthearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement.

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her.

So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to.

On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement (and also to starting a business online now that I think about it).

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways.

Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgement they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. 🙂 They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality.

Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal”� to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit.

You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people.

You help someone and both of you feel good.

The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend.

And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one.

Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

My take- Mark Twain has always been my favourite motivator. From his quotes to teachings about life.

Share and comment.

Career is Great, But Entrepreneurship is The Salt Of Life

The Richest
Man in China said:
_If you put Bananas and
Money in front of
Monkeys, Monkeys will
choose Bananas
because monkeys do
not know that *Money
can buy a lot of
Bananas.

_IN REALITY,
if you offer JOB and
BUSINESS to people,
they would choose JOB
because most people
do not know that
BUSINESS can bring
more MONEY than
Wages.

Similarly,
Robert Kiyosaki,
author of the best
selling book “RICH DAD,
POOR DAD” and also a
business partner of
Donald Trump said:
_”One of the reasons
poor are poor, is
because they are NOT
TRAINED TO RECOGNIZE
ENTREPRENEURSHIP
OPPORTUNITIES._
They spend too much
time in school and what
they have learnt in
school, is to WORK FOR
WAGES instead of
MONEY WORKING FOR
THEM.

“Profit is better than
Wages, for Wages can
make you a living but
Profits can bring you a
Fortune.”

THINK INVESTMENT
and stop fighting over
increments of salaries,
it still won’t be enough
……
Hear this from a
Professor to freshmen
and women during their
orientation:

(Actually
he is an Acting DVC
Academic at a small/
new university in
Kenya)
“Academic excellence is
overrated!
Being top of your class
does not necessarily
guarantee that you will
be at the top of life.
You could graduate as
the best student in
Finance but it doesn’t
mean you will make
more money than
everybody else.
The best graduating
Law student does not
necessarily become the
best lawyer.

The fact is, life requires
more than the ability to
understand a concept,
memorise it and
reproduce it in an exam.
School rewards people
for their memory.
Life rewards people for
their imagination.
School rewards caution,
life rewards daring.
School hails those who
live by the rules. Life
exalts those who break
the rules and set new
ones.

So do I mean people
shouldn’t study hard in
school? Oh, no, you
should. But don’t
sacrifice every other
thing on the altar of
First Class.

Don’t limit yourself to
the classroom. Do
something practical.
Take a leadership
position.
Start a business and
fail. That’s a better
Entrepreneurship 101.

Join or start a good club.
Contest an election and
lose. It will teach you
something Political
Science 101 will not
teach you.

Attend seminars.
Read books outside the
scope of your course.
Go on missions and win
a soul for eternal
rewards…

Do something you
believe in!
Think less of becoming
an excellent student
but think more of
becoming an excellent
person.

Don’t make the
classroom to be your
world but Make the
world your classroom.
Step forward, try
politics, try farming, try
businesses, try an
extra thing .
Entrepreneurship is the
salt of life, “diversify your income.

Don’t feel shy to share with others, including your children.

Image credit: Pinterest, Giphy.com

5 Ways To Overcome Self Doubt Today- Motivation Monday

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
William Shakespeare

Self-doubt can be a troubling and persuasive voice that holds you back.

It holds you back from seizing your opportunities.

It makes getting started or finishing things harder than they need to be.

Sure, it can sometimes be useful as it helps you to soberly see your current limitations or simply recognize a half-baked or bad idea. But mostly, it holds you back in life.

So how can you get around that, how can you overcome those times of self-doubt so that you can move forward once again?

1. Say stop.

First, when your inner doubts bubble up, be quick. Don’t let them spin out of control or grow from a whisper to a stream of discouraging sentences. Instead, talk back to that doubtful part of yourself.

In your mind, say or shout something like: No, no, no, we are not going down that road again.

By doing so you can disrupt the thought pattern and stop that inner self-doubter from taking over.

2. Look to the past and awash yourself in the memories.

Be real with yourself and ask yourself:

How many times when I doubted myself or feared something would happen did that negative thing come into reality after I still took action?

The answer for me – and probably for you too – is not very often at all.

Self-doubts are most often just monsters in your head that your mind may use to keep you from making changes and to keep you within the comfort zone.

If you look to the past and see how well things have gone many times despite those self-doubts then it become easier to let go of them or to ignore them and to focus on the more likely positive outcome and to take action.

3. Talk to someone about it.

When you keep your thoughts on the inside they can become distorted, exaggerated and not very much in line with reality or reasonable expectations.

This is very much true when it comes to self-doubting thoughts.

So let them out into the light. Talk to someone close to you about your self-doubts.

Just letting them out and saying them out loud can often help you to hear how exaggerated these thoughts have become. And by talking about those doubts with someone that is supportive you can get a change in perspective.

4. Don’t get stuck in the comparison trap.

If you compare yourself to other people all too often, to their successes and especially to their high-light reels that they share on social media then self-doubt can quickly creep up.

A better way to go about things is to compare yourself to yourself. To see how far you have come. To see what you’ve overcome.

And to see how you’ve kept going, succeeded and grown as a human being.

5. Start keeping a journal.

Keeping a journal can be a helpful habit for many reasons. When it comes to self-doubts it can help you to:

  • Keep a realistic record of your life. And help you to remember the positive things, the successes you have had and how you have overcome obstacles if you are prone to remembering things with a negative slant.
  • Gain clarity more easily. It is often easier to alleviate fears and doubts and to gain clarity if you have an issue laid out on paper or in a computer document rather than if you try to go through it all in your mind. By making lists of pros and cons, going through your thoughts and emotions and similar events from the past and by writing down different perspectives on the issue it becomes easier to find solutions and to see your challenge in a clearer and more level-headed way.

How To Value Your Needs: Breaking Free From Your Comfort Zone

Leopards hate water. Their natural habitat and innate instincts are not meant for being in water.

Yet, when they are hungry, they will go against their very nature in order to feed.

Their “survival instincts” kick in and make them go above and beyond. They transcend the boundaries meant for their species.

So the question is: as a human being what are ‘you’ doing to break free from your comfort zones?

What kind of instincts are you willing to employ in order to fulfill the natural needs and innate necessities for yourself and your family?

If a mere beastly animal in the world has the courage to defy nature, its natural habitat and environmental limitations to ‘value’ its needs, why can’t you?

Delayed Isn’t Negative

Good day fam!

So what motivated me today to write about this topic was the day after my wedding weekend, we were heading back to Abuja from Lagos Nigeria. Our flight was supposed to be 10:35am. But we later left the airport around 1:45pm. I got angry and wanted to cause a scene in the airport. Other passengers were diverstated and furious with the airline. We had other plans me and my wife, but we cancelled the appointment. Luckily for us, our flight was announced to board. As I sat down catching my breath, I felt God used that whole situation to speak to me and maybe speak to someone reading this now.
What struck me after thinking about the whole thing, was that everyone immediately thinks very negatively when it comes to delayed flights. Have you ever thought about why those flights are delayed? Have you ever thought that a few more minutes wait on your end may be beneficial to you or someone else? Maybe theres a good reason its delayed. Lets think about it.

Problem A: Weather

Maybe the flight was grounded so the people on the flight or the one before would be kept safe due to weather. If you haven’t noticed weather is completely out of our control, so why do we let it upset us when it changes our plans. God is in control of all things, even the things we believe we are in control over. His ways are greater than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). God has greater things in mind and knows what He is doing. He doesn’t want you taking off in a thunder storm, so just trust Him!

Problem B: Mechanical
Im sure you’ve heard this one on the plane. You were told the plane was waiting for someone to fix a mechanical issue, or repair a flat tire, or something different. People of course get upset at this too. It makes me wonder if they would prefer to take off immediately and not fix the problem? God always has our best interests at heart, and while we may believe that we want things immediately, He is more than likely delaying your situation to protect you or those around you.

Problem C: Other Passenger
Now this has been me before so I know it happens. The plane waits to close the door because they know you are coming from a connecting flight and will be a few minutes late. Typically your connecting flights will hold that door so you can make it and not have to find a new flight. But then you get on the plane you just ran for and all those people sitting waiting on you are upset because you are keeping them from where they need to be. God may be doing this in your life right now. Maybe you aren’t sure why God has you moving somewhere, or has you in a certain job when you want to leave. Maybe He is simply waiting for someone else to be where they need to before you can move forward effectively. in short…you are NOT the only person on the planet, and God has more than just you to fit into His perfect plan. Maybe just trust the He knows what He is doing and celebrate with those around you in the mean-time.

You can look at God as an air-traffic controller of sorts. He is responsible for making sure people get to where they are supposed to be, and He is also responsible for the safety of all the travelers. He has to be focused on the safety and accuracy of getting people where they need to go, as opposed to all the “wants” of the individual travelers.

So you may think you are in a holding pattern in your life, but don’t look at it in a negative way. Remember that there is a reason you are delayed, and until you take off you should enjoy the moment and location you are in.

Galatian 5:22-23
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

Isaiah 55:8-9
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

What’s Your Greatest Barrier to Change?

This is a guest post by Bernadette Logue

Ever felt like there is something lacking within you or in your circumstances that prevents you from flourishing in your life? It’s common to have times in your life when you feel like there are barriers to the change you want to create.

I am ever the seeker of evidence, so in order to see what was really going on out there among my community of readers and clients I asked the question…

“What do you believe is the single greatest barrier to positive change in your life?”

Below is quick snapshot of the responses:

  • Lack of self-belief and confidence – 40%
  • Unsure where or how to start creating change – 16%
  • Personal circumstances and resources – 15%
  • Lack of time and space to create change – 6%
  • Fear of failure – 6%
  • Fear of judgement and ridicule – 3.5%
  • Lack of support/motivation/inspiration – 3.5%
  • Other (such as ‘a little bit of all these things’, ‘familiarity of current situation is easier than the fear of the unknown’ and ‘uncomfortable being vulnerable/addressing true emotions in order to move forward’) – 10%
The Great Barrier Reef Has a Secret Weapon Against Climate Change

What You Believe Becomes Your Reality

You might have noticed that we worded the question, very purposefully, as “What do you BELIEVE….” in relation to barriers to change. That is because your beliefs are what create the barrier/s. And, you have the ability to shift your beliefs. That’s fab news!

It all comes down to how much you want to shift any limiting beliefs. Because you can, it is just a choice and willingness to look at the limitation and to put in the conscious effort (awareness) to retrain your belief system in a way that better serves you. The result will be an empowered version of self for the rest of your life. The effort is worth it! Think of it like a ritual, not a chore. If people put half the effort into themselves as they do into everything (and everyone) else, they would be astounded at the change that results.

A core reason many people don’t put that effort into themselves, is that they don’t put themselves first in their life. They come last after everything and everyone else. It’s time to drench yourself with love and to realise that you are the centre of your life experience, everything stems from you and the best thing you can do for everyone around you is to care for and love yourself (like during aeroplane safety briefings when they tell you to fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others!)

Shifting Yourself – Dissolving Barriers

From your commitment to change, and from your self-belief, stems the endless possibilities available to you. Nothing and no one can tell you what to believe, what to think, how to feel or what to do. You and you alone create your life. You and you alone perceive what stands in your way. You and you alone create or break down the barriers that appear before you. It’s all about lifting your awareness, using your consciousness to your advantage, and starting to make choices moment by moment that will propel you upwards.

So now you might be thinking… “Well, yes I believe that I have barriers to change, and I want to change those beliefs so that those barriers don’t block me any more. But, how the heck do I shift my beliefs?”

I’d love to work with you if you are ready for creating transformation in your personal and professional life, using my simple but powerfully effective techniques and Unleash Your Life coaching method… for rewiring you for inner peace, freedom and success. Get in touch with me directly if you are ready to leave the baggage behind and lift into the next level of your evolution.

For more guides and information about this post. BERNADETTE LOGUE from the Daily Positive.

Starting Over: It Is Not Too Late for A New Career

This is a guest post.

Starting over is a scary prospect. Our human nature wants to move forward, one foot in front of the other and off we go. We want to blaze trails. We want to climb mountains. We want to sail the seas. We want to fly the skies. And we intend to climb up not down the ladders in our careers and move up not down the financial scale in society.

So by nature, starting over does not appeal to any of us. Least of all to me! I should know, even though I was spared the brunt of the situation because I was just a kid. My Dad was 40 and my mom in her early 30s when we left Iran for an initial 2-week vacation to Turkey that turned out to be a “vacation” of a lifetime. My parents left everything behind. When they closed the door to our beloved sweet home at 13 Lida Street in Tehran, they had no idea that they were closing the door to a chapter of our lives that we will forever reminisce.

I watched them over the years as they rebuilt our life and I am immensely proud of their courage to leave one life behind in order to start another, so that we could live in a free country and have opportunities we never would have seen in Iran. Yet reality bites, and the road to stability and financial comfort was not a fun one, and someday, I will chronicle every detail of this journey in a book but for now, suffice it to say that I never became a fan of starting over. It was all about forging ahead, moving up and up in the world, and doing it as fast as I could.

Except, well, until I became so disillusioned with my career in Corporate America that even this great fear – the fear of starting over , the fear of going back to zero, if in nothing else then definitely in income, and doing so not in my 20s but well into my 30s, even that fear paled in comparison to the risks and rewards of starting over.

Starting over now meant I can have a chance at real success and true happiness and I was willing to do it.
Sometimes, we climb the wrong ladder. Sometimes, we get stuck in the wrong “successful” career. Sometimes, we find ourselves miserable in a “rich” lifestyle. Or in the case of my family, sometimes we get stuck in the wrong country at the wrong time in history. It Happens. And it is NOT your fault.

Stop blaming yourself for feeling miserable when you “should” be happy and grateful. Gratitude has nothing to do with your heart’s emptiness and with your own questioning of whether you made the right choices. Stop confusing the two and for what may be the first time in your life, open your ears and listen to your heart’s whisper. What is it telling you now that nothing you have tried is filling you with inner peace? What does it want you to do so you can feel free to do work that you can find meaningful and rewarding?
No one plans for these forks in the road. No one anticipates a midlife career crisis – that’s for the other people who are lost and confused but not us – and no one looks for the day when you wake up and feel you simply can’t do it anymore. No one is prepared for it and hardly anyone wants to deal with it. The easy way now is to go on ignoring the feeling and paying the price later. The hard way is to listen to yourself and to start over.

Well, I have news for you. Starting over won’t kill you. It will make you stronger, and you will wonder why you did not do this sooner because if you really think about it, time is all you got, and when you feel the urge to leave something and start something else, waiting only kills more of your most precious resource: time, and yet waiting is what most ends up doing, only to end up in an unhappier place down the road.

Starting over asks for commitment and courage. You need to spend the time to build your new skills, and you need to understand that it doesn’t happen overnight.

If you want to start a career in finance, you don’t need to know everything about the stock market on day 1. If you want to take care of little animals in a shelter, you are not going to be responsible for their every need from day 1. If you want to become a speaker, you are not expected to speak before a room full of people right off the bat. You build skills over time, and yet time passes and you grow and when you are doing what you love, when your heart sings and your soul feels liberated to do work that it believes in, then you won’t mind so much putting in the hours and rebuilding your dream. This time, you know that you are on the right path. You know you are climbing the right ladder, walking down the right path, and following the right signals.

Starting over today will pay handsomely tomorrow.

Why do we hesitate to start over? Or rather, why are we terrified of it? Naturally because we wonder if it’s too late. If we are too old and if our golden window of opportunity has long since closed.

Rubbish, stop lying to yourself.

You are still alive, aren’t you? You are still breathing and moving, right? You can still dream and believe, can’t you? Then wouldn’t be in such a hurry to join the living dead. I would be in a hurry to start living and if that means starting over, then so be it.

Start over now. It is NOT too late for you to start a new career now but don’t wait longer either because tomorrow, you will wish you had started yesterday.

Credit: P. Living

83 Ways to Become a Better Person (List 3)

Hey guys!

Today I continue with my list about ways to become a better person. If you’ve missed the other lists, don’t worry, you can simply search the blog or check the archive section for the previous lists.

So here is the list on being a better person starting from 41-60..

41. Watch your health like a hawk. Don’t rely on doctors or nutritionists. You Know Best.
42. Walk away if it compromises your values or it will eat away at you sooner or later.
43. Start that project, that dream, that task that ages ago you put away, saving it for “someday”. Just Start It!
44. Take the second step after starting that project in #43.
45. Create a bucket list if only to get a sense of immediacy and urgency about life.
46. Remind yourself that life is finite and your days are numbered and now is the time to do what you want.
47. Ask your boss for a raise . Ask again if you don’t get an answer or get a new boss.
48. If bosses don’t work out for you, no problem. You weren’t meant to have one. Become your own damn boss!
49. Don’t just get married to get married. Marry for love. Marry for love so intense you can’t stand not being married to it.
50. Don’t have children unless you want them. And don’t feel bad if you don’t. Don’t force your spouse to want them either, just find one who does.
51. Get a dog only if you are not going to leave it in a crate all day long. Please.
52. Find people who get you. Really, really get you! Find the group, the community that gets you , whoever you may be. Find it.
53. Stop mistreating your body. You are not invincible and it will catch up with you and you will regret it.
54. Don’t put up with the crappy corporate job culture if you are itching to get out. It’s mostly lies, half-truths, and total nonsense.
55. Take a hard-core class that pushes your body. Indoor cycling. Krava maga. Kickboxing. Power yoga.
56. Stay away from people who are jealous of you and don’t be jealous of others. They are not who you are meant to be.
57. Read Rumi’s poetry. Do this more than once.
58. Motivate yourself every single day to keep going and don’t even talk to me about poor odds or bad luck. Just keep going.
59. Fight complacency like you would an animal that is out to suck the very life out of you.
60. Push past your comfort zone, be it in body, mind or spirit. Get uncomfortable. Good stuff will happen next.

Stay tuned for the final list on this space. Have a wonderful day and happy weekend!!!

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