9 Common Stereotypes When It Comes To Your Lazy, Unproductive Days

This is a guest post.

1. You’re allowed to relax. You don’t want to make a habit out of slacking — but you don’t want to turn into a massive workaholic either. You’re allowed to relax every once in a while. You’re allowed to enjoy yourself. You’re allowed to have a life outside of your career.

2. Stress is dangerous. You don’t want to push yourself to the brink of exhaustion. You don’t want to pile on responsibilities until you’re crushed by your own stress. You have to take care of yourself. You can’t keep pushing your mental health aside in order to focus on your workload. Your mind matters. If you push yourself too far, you won’t get anything done.

3. Productivity doesn’t always mean what you think it means. You might think you’re being unproductive on weekends when you don’t leave the house, but that might not be entirely true. Texting your friends to check in on them is productive. Catching up on reading is productive. Giving yourself a break from your stress, so you don’t end up having a complete meltdown, is productive.

4. You’re not worthless for lounging around all day. How much you accomplish each day doesn’t correlate to your value. It doesn’t make you a better or worse person. You have to stop placing so much emphasis on success. Happiness matters more.

5. It’s okay to say no. You can’t please everyone. You can’t put a million different things on your plate at once. If you aren’t able to help someone with a favor or work extra hours to impress your boss, that’s okay. You’re allowed to say no.

6. You still have plenty of time to reach your goals. You might feel like you’re getting old, like time is running out, like you should have reached your goals by now. But you can’t rush success. You can’t let yourself become too impatient. You still have plenty of time to reach all your goals, plenty of time to make yourself proud.

7. You deserve a reward. Maybe today is going to be a lazy day — but you deserve a lazy day. Think about how hectic yesterday was. Think about how much work you got done last week. Think of how much you’ve accomplished over the course of this year. Don’t you deserve a day off? You’ve done more than you give yourself credit for, more than enough to earn a little me time.

8. You are meant to do more than work, eat, and sleep. You’re meant to have fun. You’re meant to travel, to make friends, to pick up new hobbies, to watch new movies, to explore this universe. Work isn’t supposed to be your entire life. It’s only supposed to be a part of your life.

9. You’re not a machine. You’re human. Not every single day is going to be a productive day. There are times when you’re going to have to let yourself relax and recharge. Otherwise, you’re going to self-destruct. So do yourself a favor and stop blaming yourself for being lazy. Let yourself enjoy it. At least for a little while.

Special thanks to Holly Riordan.

The Truth About Changing Your Life Is That It Is Often Means Doing Less, Not More

The beginning of a self-transformation requires action, but the end of it requires something deeper, something harder, something you’ve probably never realized before.

While doing more will almost always generate results, there’s an untapped, life-changing magic in doing less.

Sometimes, your problems don’t come from what you’re not doing, they come from what you can’t stop doing.

To really change your life, you probably need to consume less. You probably need to learn to use what you have, to take a breath and stop yourself every time you think you need that one new perfect thing that will magically transform you into a new person.

You probably need to spend less. You probably need to reevaluate your patterns and behaviors and refocus on your long-term goals, prioritizing your future comfort over your immediate gratification.

You probably need to engage less, both with people who are not mentally mature and people whom do not have any intention of having a civil discourse with you. This is not because you can’t speak freely, but because having an exchange with someone whose intent is to fight you rather than connect with you will always be a losing situation.

You probably need to change less. When we start out on our healing journey, it’s about uprooting, replanting, and sprouting. But if you’re unhealed beneath the surface, you won’t be able to lay roots without wanting to rip them out again. Healing, you will find, is not about how many times you can start over, it is whether to not you can bloom.

You probably need to care less. When your mind is consumed with trying to master and perfect every single little thing in your life, you get overwhelmed and give up. Instead, you have to focus on the few things that are actually requiring your attention, and then build from there.

You probably need to do less. Not because you shouldn’t be productive, but because you only have so much energy in a day, and when you spend it on things you don’t really care much about, you find yourself constantly exhausted, drained and at your wit’s end.

You probably need to have fewer expectations. Often, we conflate that with having high standards, but they aren’t the same thing. Unrealistic expectations will slowly wreck you, because they require that you achieve perfection immediately. When your expectation is that you should be a natural-born master of whatever you try to do, it becomes really hard to show up and do the work consistently, which is what you actually have to do to achieve mastery.

You probably need to not try so hard. When you try to force people to like you, it usually has the opposite effect. When you try to convince yourself you’re attractive, you usually seem less so. When you are trying to force every outcome in your life, there’s usually a reason they aren’t coming together on their own.

You probably need to give fewer excuses. Not because you’re going to be unkind to yourself, but because the kindest thing you can possibly do is stop avoiding the honest truth about what’s wrong. You cannot keep trying to positive-self-talk your way into thinking you love your life when you do not. When we’re ready to make fewer justifications, it means we’re also ready to make greater change.

The truth about doing less is that it’s going to bring you into stillness. It is going to require you to face that discomfort you’ve been running from head-on.

The truth is that when we first realize we need to change our lives, it is easy to get swept away in the escape fantasy of it all. Everything has to go, and nothing can stay. There’s an addictive quality to starting over, and if you’re not careful, you can confuse it for actually healing.

Truly getting better is learning to be okay where you are, wherever you are. It is actually metabolizing that discomfort for once, listening to it, letting it show you where you are deeply misaligned.

It is to become grounded, to make positive decisions for the long-term, to start breaking those destructive habits that have been fueled by the pain you haven’t quite had a name for all these years.

It is to no longer be controlled by your feelings, but by your ambitions, by your dreams for the future.

When you go about changing your life, sometimes, the most radical shift of all is to do absolutely nothing — and wait for the sun to rise.

Why Is Everyone Talking About Success Will Come Slowly?

Why because?

Sometimes, you won’t get the credit you feel like you deserve. Sometimes, you’re going to feel like all the hard work you’ve been putting into a project has been a waste because nobody has been around to pat you on the back or remind you what a good job you’ve been doing.

But you don’t need validation from anyone else in order to feel proud of yourself. Stop waiting around for other people to realize your value and start rewarding yourself. When you accomplish one of your goals, reward yourself with a bottle of wine or freshly baked cookies or your favorite latte from Starbucks. Make sure that, even if the rest of the world can’t see what a good job you’ve been doing, you recognize it yourself.

Sometimes, you’re not going to get the reaction you were hoping for from your friends, family, coworkers, and kids you used to know in high school. Sometimes, you’re not going to impress the people you’ve been hoping to impress. Sometimes, you’re going to live through your successes quietly. That’s why you shouldn’t do anything for the sake of fitting in or looking cool. You should be doing things because they’re what you want to do, because they make you happy, because you can’t imagine having more fun doing anything else.

Sometimes, you’re not going to see all of your hard work pay off in a short amount of time. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait. Sometimes, you’re going to have to stay patient. Some successes take longer than others. You’re not always going to see results overnight. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait years for your effort to pay off — and that whole time, you’re going to have to keep faith in yourself. You’re going to have to hold onto the hope that you can do this, that you’re going to reach your destination eventually.

Sometimes, you’re to experience jealousy. You’re going to wonder why your friends are so much further ahead in their careers and relationships than you. You’re going to wonder why your bosses give more credit to other workers than you. You’re going to wonder why you haven’t reached your goals yet when other people who have been trying for shorter lengths of time are already ahead of you.

But you can never allow your jealousy to turn into mean-spiritedness. You have to stop thinking of others as your competitors and start thinking of them as your inspirations. You have to be happy for them. You have to remember that their successes are not your failures. Your journey has nothing to do with their journey.

Sometimes, your confidence is going to crash. Sometimes, you’re going to doubt your own abilities. Sometimes, you’re going to flirt with the idea of giving up. But you can never allow yourself to quit on the things that mean the most to you. You have to stay passionate, stay motivated, stay inspired, stay strong. You have to remind yourself you can do this.

Celebrate Your Silent Milestones

You should also celebrate the things that aren’t as obvious, that are invisible to the eye. You should celebrate the fact that you’ve gone a few days without engaging with anyone toxic. That you’ve gone a few weeks without falling back into your bad habits. That you’ve gone a few months treating yourself with more kindness than in the past.

You should celebrate the fact that you’ve grown into a stronger person within the last few years. Your heart has reformed. Your personality has reshaped. You might not be able to see your progress, because it’s not something you can track the same way you can track the money in your bank account, but the results are hidden right there.

Take a second to think about how far you’ve come. Not in terms of your career or your love life. As a living, breathing human being. Throughout these last few years, you’ve grown more mature. More responsible. More accountable. More aware of your own feelings. You’re turning into a slightly better person each and every day, even if you aren’t able to see that yet.

When you’re feeling down about how far behind you feel, about how much you’re struggling to reach your dreams, you have to remember the material items you own and the external accomplishments you can brag about online aren’t the only signs of success.

Your silent milestones matter, too. They’re worth celebrating, even if you’re celebrating on your own. You might not be able to brag about them on social media, but it doesn’t matter if anyone else recognizes how much you’ve grown. All that matters is that you realize. That you see how much you’ve done. That you understand you aren’t a failure, you aren’t doing as poorly as you think, you aren’t actually a screwup.

Your silent milestones matters more than you realize.

The First Step To Self-Care Is Actually Giving A Shit About Yourself

Hey guys!I was amazed when I set my eyes on this write up. I have no other choice but to share it with you. It is a guest post from one of my role model and beautiful writer Holly Riordan 🙌🔥Please be patient when reading.

The first step to self-care is deciding you matter. You deserve to feel confident. You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to feel whole.

You have to stop telling yourself that it doesn’t matter what you do with your time because no one cares anyway. At the very least, you have to care. After all, you’re the only one who matters.

If other people aren’t paying attention to you, aren’t supporting you, aren’t loving you, that’s outside of your control. The only thing you can control is our own actions, your own thoughts, your own choices.

The first step to self-care is actually giving a shit. It’s deciding that you care about where your career is headed. You care about whether your friendships are stable. You care about what happens to your heart. You care about whether you get enough exercise that day, whether you eat enough that day, whether you take care of your hygiene that day. You care about yourself.

If you don’t care about yourself, if you continue to believe that you are worthless and aren’t going to make it so there’s no point in even trying, then you’re going to get caught in a self-destructive cycle. You’re never going to take a chance on yourself. You’re going to keep coming up with excuses to stay hidden inside your comfort zone. You’re never going to change.

It’s a pretty simple concept. If you don’t care about yourself, you’re not going to take good care of yourself. You’re going to stop trying. You’re going to let yourself waste away. And you cannot let that happen. You cannot forget your worth. You cannot treat yourself so unkindly.

Maybe you’re unable to love yourself right now because you’re distracted by your flaws. Or maybe you made a mistake you consider unforgivable and can’t stop thinking about the past. Or maybe you’re just in a toxic mindset right now.

If learning to love yourself sounds like too big of a leap from where you are right now, you can start by learning to give a shit about yourself.

You don’t have to love your body yet, but you should give a shit about keeping it clean and healthy. You don’t have to love your job yet, but you should give a shit about whether you’re doing the right thing at work. You don’t have to love your life yet, but you should give a shit about continuing it, strengthening it, bettering it.

It’s not going to be easy to change the way you think. It’s not going to be easy to suddenly start giving a shit about yourself after years of not caring at all — but it might be a little bit easier than suddenly loving yourself unconditionally.

Give a shit about whether you make healthy decisions that day.

Give a shit about whether you compliment yourself that day.

This is a guest post.

Cherishing God’s Will Above Our Comfort

As Christians we must begin cherishing God’s will above our own Comfort. This is not always simple to do, but it is possible. This post explains how.

Guest post.

In order to begin cherishing God’s will above our comfort, the bottom line this. God is God, and His glory should be our pursuit even when it hurts. When Joab and his brother Abishai were surrounded by the Syrians and Ammonites, this is what he said: “Be of good courage, and let us play the man for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the LORD do what seems good to him” (2 Samuel 10:12)

They were ready for battle, but were resolved to whatever outcome God deemed good in His view. Esther echoed a similar refrain: “… I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16)

Once again we see an abandonment to God to do what He deems best. I’ll do what I know to do to the best of my ability and trust God to have His way. I really feel this is the essence of having faith: trusting God in spite of the outcome. It is a trust in God’s goodness (having the best intentions for us), His ability (to do all things), and His wisdom (to do that which will bring Him glory and us joy in Him).

In both passages, the central characters took responsibility, were decisive, yet rescinded themselves to God’s will. James encourages us to have this attitude.

Sometimes, we make plans, speak presumptuously about the plans without any acknowledgment that God should have a say. As if God exists simply to meet our needs or for our sole satisfaction. He warns: “Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:15)

It’s time to start cherishing God’s will like never before.

His will is our ultimate place of fulfillment, even if it seems like we miss out on some momentary comfort. This is not always easy,  and I am sure it was no different for the Bible characters mentioned earlier. But, such trust in God sets the stage for Him to show Himself strong. As tempting as it might be, let not your heart be anchored simply on things hoped for but rather stay grounded on God’s goodness, power and wisdom.

Credit to Sho.

Your Life Becomes The Sum Of What You Tolerate

In an ideal world, life would amount to the sum of our intentions.

Good things would happen to good people; we’d be measured by our heart and depth and character.

While this is true to some degree — life is undoubtedly kinder toward those who are kind to it — the truth is that your intentions don’t amount to your outcomes. Just wanting something badly enough does not qualify you to have it, simply believing that you’re capable of more does not mean you will actually achieve more.

In the end, your life amounts to the sum of what you tolerate.

It is defined by what you allow.

You are treated as well as you allow other people to treat you. When you set boundaries or cut off contact with those who do not meet those expectations, you are setting the standard for relationships in your life.

You achieve as much as you allow yourself to pursue. You create as often as you are willing to show up, and to begin.

You grow as much as you allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. We often think that it is discomfort that holds us back from becoming who we want to be, when in fact, that feeling, once truly acknowledged, will point us in the direction that we need to create change.

If you are willing to tolerate mistreatment, you will be mistreated.

If you are willing to tolerate unhappiness, you will remain unhappy.

If you are willing to tolerate dissatisfaction, you will remain dissatisfied.

Your life only truly becomes your own on the day that you decide you will not — for another second of your existence — tolerate less than you know you are capable of having, doing less than you are capable of doing, and being less than you are capable of being.

The truth is that nobody else is going to give this to you.

Nobody is going to wake you up to this fact.

Nobody is going to sit you down and give you a power point presentation about your worth and potential, and nobody is going to strategize a way to make it a reality.

The only way it is going to happen is if you decide you are no longer going to be okay with excuses, empty words or broken dreams. It is only going to happen if you decide that you will no longer tolerate anything less than the outcomes you want, and the life you dream of.

Your life becomes the sum of what you tolerate, so stop tolerating less than you desire.

Guest post from Brianna Weist

The Big Risk if You’re Seeking Approval from Other People

As human beings we crave acceptance and approval – to feel a sense of belonging and security.

It makes sense if you think about our primitive nature and history – the need to be in tribes/communities together, for safety and survival.

That seems to drive so many of us in modern life to go seeking approval and acceptance from others – be it our families, our friends, our work colleagues and employers.

Heck… we even go on social media and seek “likes” from complete strangers in order to get that sense of acceptance.

But here are the cold hard facts about living for the acceptance, approval or praise of others…

  • Yes, it feels good (we all like it!)
  • But, you can’t guarantee you’ll always get it.
  • And as long as you’re attached to the acceptance, approval and praise of others, you’re also equally attached to their judgment, criticism and rejection.

The powerful truth that I’ve personally learned over the years is this…

  • When people say nice things about me, that’s lovely and it’s just what they’re thinking and feeling in that moment. It has nothing to do with me. It’s none of my business. ????
  • When people say unkind things about me, that’s unpleasant and it’s just what they’re thinking and feeling in that moment. It has nothing to do with me. It’s none of my business. ????

If you live by the praise of others, you die by their criticism.

Everyone is simply projecting their inner experience into the outer world – be that positive or negative, be that praise or criticism. To live your life at peace and empowered here are 2 TIPS…

  • Don’t take things personally – even when it’s nice things (acknowledge the love the other person is expressing, and witness it with appreciation, but don’t attach to it like an umbilical cord!). ????
  • Don’t go looking for people to validate, approve, accept or praise you – GIVE IT TO YOURSELF. The only person’s opinion who truly matters is yours. From your own approval, the world is your oyster and you can enjoy the good and detach the bad, forever free to simply be.

To support you in breaking free of needing the validation and approval of other people, listen to this affirmations audio every day for 30 days. It will help to shift your mindset and energy away from that old pattern…

Lots of credit goes to Bernadette Logue for her brilliant piece to the world.

Healing Means The Pain No Longer Controls You Even If You Can’t Forget It 

Healing is a long process and it’s a long journey. There’s no right way to heal and realistically there’s no right way to forget. You don’t have to forget your deepest pain and you shouldn’t. It scarred you but it also changed you. It wounded your soul but it also taught you the art of surviving. The art of choosing to live and fight for your happiness.

Healing means you remember everything but it doesn’t hurt anymore. You look at the people who hurt you and you don’t feel a thing. You look at them and they don’t have that power anymore. They don’t have the power to ruin your day and your life. You’ve overcome their demons and their ghosts. You’ve let their toxicity go. They’re the reason why you understand that you’re better off without some people. They’re the reason why you understand that some people have to go for better people to come along.

Healing means you know that some broken pieces of you will never be the same again but that will never stop you from loving again with all your heart, from believing again after losing all hope, from starting over after hitting rock bottom. Healing means you’re not scared of getting hurt again because you know how to bounce back and you know life will never be free of pain. 

Don’t listen to people who ask you to forget about your problems or your pain or your heartbreak, you can’t just forget something that changed you forever, you can’t just forget someone who meant the world to you, you can’t just forget and you shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on yourself.

Healing means you show off your scars with pride. It means you tell your painful stories with wisdom. It means you forgive yourself for allowing people to hurt you. It means you don’t define yourself by the people who broke your heart. It means speaking softly about yourself instead of blaming yourself for the pain you had to endure.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, it means remembering everything but instead of letting it weigh you down, let it lift you up. You still smile. You still love. You still give. You still believe. The pain won’t stop you from living.

Healing is a reminder that nothing was ever strong enough to break you. 


Guest post from Rania Naim. 🙏🙏🙏

7 Excuses You Can Drop Today

Whether the goal is trying to lose weight, build a business, improve our mental health or anything in between – we can achieve anything we set our minds to, but first we have to get rid of our excuses.

1. I’ll do it tomorrow. Nothing in this life is promised, except death, tomorrow may never come and the task will remain incomplete. The only way to achieve our goals is to start taking action right now.

2. I’m not good enough. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard, we can improve on the skills we already have by training and practicing. Remember – we all have to start from somewhere.

3. I’m tired. It’s important to listen to our bodies and make time to rest, but we must also keep in mind that our goals will never be achieved if we don’t sacrifice. We may have to give up an hour of sleep to fit in that workout or training session that will bring us closer to achieving our goals.

4. Other people are already doing it. Indeed, there are others who are expressing their gifts and talents to the world – but they’re not us. We each have a unique, individual perspective, gift or talent to offer the world that no one else can.

5. I’ve already tried. To be successful in anything we need to fail and fail often, from each failure we learn a new lesson that we can use to improve our future attempts. It’s important to keep in mind that the only true failure is giving up.

6. What will others say about me? The opinions of others have nothing to do with us, the only opinion that matters is our own. We are the ones who have to live with the regrets of not trying, the validation of others isn’t worth giving up on our dreams.

7. What if it doesn’t work out? If it comes to the point where giving up feels like the only option – which it rarely ever is – at least we can say we tried. If we try we might fail, if we don’t we guarantee it.

Excuses sound best to the ones making them.

Trust The Part Of Yourself That Tells You To Move On

Trust the part of yourself that tells you when something needs to be over. The part that tells you that you need to end a certain chapter and start a new one. The part that tells you when something has served its purpose. Trust the part of yourself that keeps waking you up at night nudging you to grow out of your comfort zone and try something new. Something bold. Something exciting. Something that will bring you back to life.

Trust the part of yourself that knows there’s so much more to you. There’s more to life. There’s more than what you’re settling for. There’s more to your life than boredom, discomfort and anxiety.

Trust the part of yourself that’s hungry for abundance, growth, inspiration and meaning. Trust the part of yourself that begs you for change. Whether getting a new job, moving to a new city, losing certain people to make room for new ones or just working on yourself and exploring new habits. Trust the part of yourself that begs you to leave certain things. The part that knows that staying any longer will do more harm than good.

Trust the part of yourself that believes against all odds that things will work out in your favor when you take a leap of faith. The part that propels you to break the rules and take the road less traveled and give up your security for a little bit to start a new adventure that could change your life. Trust the part of yourself that sounds crazy because a little bit of madness is sometimes all you need to pursue your biggest dreams.

Trust the part of yourself that just knows when something isn’t right or when something is no longer good for you even if it’s hard to admit. Trust the part of yourself that is pushing you to end things you’re not ready to end because this part just knows that something better is right around the corner but you have to make some space for it. You have to be empty first before you can be full again.

Trust the part of yourself that knows when it’s time to move on because that part also knows what moving on will teach you. The new doors that will open. The new opportunities that will come up when you take a risk. The things that will come find you when you declare that you are searching and that you’re free.

Trust the part of yourself that tells you when to let go because that means a new beginning awaits you and deep inside you know it’s been too long since something came along that made you look forward to tomorrow. Deep inside you know that you are in desperate need of change. Deep inside you know that you can’t live a new life if you are still clinging to the old one that no longer fulfills you.

Trust the part of you that knows when it’s time to say goodbye. The part that may not have a perfect plan for the future but it has faith that something big is coming along once start stepping out so you can reach it. Once you start driving on a different road to find it.

Guest post from Rania Naim about self Improvement and growth.

Reinvent Yourself

Unhappy with your current situation–at work or in your career or life? Are you getting bored with your job or feel like you’re in one great big rut? Is doing what made you successful in the past no longer working for you? If so, then maybe it’s time to reinvent yourself.

We all need change in our lives from time to time to shake things up and approach our work and careers with a refreshed enthusiasm. But some people aren’t looking to just improve themselves–some need completely new beginnings and instead seek to reinvent themselves entirely.

It is okay to start over!

Never Stop Chasing Your Dreams

Never give up because you’re lucky to have something you feel this passionately about pursuing. Some people search their whole lives for meaning, for a purpose, for an outlet that brings them happiness. You’ve already found that thing, which means you’re one step closer to your dreams than most people because you actually know what your dreams are. You know what you want. You just have to go out there and get it.

Never give up because you’re not going to know what you’re capable of achieving unless you keep going. You’re never going to have any idea of how far you would’ve gone if you allow yourself to stop prematurely. Besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you keep chasing after your dreams? You might not reach them? At least, if you’re actively trying, then you have a chance at success. If you give up now, then it’s guaranteed that you’re never going to get where you wish you were. You might as well put the odds in your favor.

Never give up because persistence is even more crucial than talent. You’re not going to achieve all of your dreams in a short amount of time. You’re not going to get rewarded overnight. It’s going to be a long ride. You’re going to have to remain patient. You’re going to have to stay motivated, even when you feel like you’re off your game. You’re going to have to keep trying, even when the world is warning you you’re wasting your time.

Never give up because you’re going to regret it if you give up on your dreams. You’re going to look back on your decision to stop and wish you would have put in a little more effort, a little more time. You don’t want your future self to be pissed at your current self. Do yourself a favor and continue chasing after your dreams. Even if you don’t reach your goals, at least you won’t have to stay up late at night for the rest of your life worrying about the what ifs.

Never give up because you deserve to see your hard work pay off. You deserve to call yourself successful. You deserve to be proud of yourself. Right now, you might be questioning whether you’re good enough, but you cannot allow your insecurities to hold you back. Even once you reach your goal, you’re still going to have doubts. The nagging voice in the back of your mind is never going to go away, so you have to learn to live with it. You have to realize that even though what it’s saying might sound true doesn’t mean it is true.

Never give up because you’re making more progress than you realize. You’re closer to your destination that you would ever imagine. You might not be able to see it now — and if you give up, then you’re never going to see it. You’re never going to know how many more steps you needed to take to reach your dreams. That’s why you have to keep going. You can’t give up on yourself. You can’t let go of your wildest dreams.

A guest post and credit to Holly Riordan.

Despite What You’ve Been Telling Yourself, You Are Valuable

Thank God it’s friday!

Today I have a guest post from Holly Riodan.

It’s dangerous to assume your worth is tied to any one thing, whether that’s your career or your relationship or your friendships. If you get your validation from a single outside source, then your sense of worth is going to rise and drop on a daily basis. Your confidence is going to change based on how well that single area of your life is currently going.

You can’t allow your relationship status to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter whether you’re currently getting over a breakup. It doesn’t matter whether your heart is having trouble healing. It doesn’t matter whether you’re spending your nights in bed alone. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the last one of your friends who is still single. It doesn’t matter whether you thought you would be married with children by now. You value doesn’t change based on whether or not you’re in a relationship.

You can’t allow your social media stats to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter how many comments you get on a selfie. It doesn’t matter how many followers you have. It doesn’t matter how many people have been sliding into your DMs. It doesn’t matter whether anyone has checked your story in the last hour. Your value doesn’t changed based on your popularity on social media.

You can’t allow your career to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter how much money you’re making. It doesn’t matter whether you’re taking longer to achieve your goals than you feel like you should. It doesn’t matter whether your friends seem further ahead than you right now. It doesn’t matter whether you feel like you’re slowly falling behind. You value doesn’t change based on the amount of money in your bank account.

You can’t allow your friendships to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter whether there are certain nights you consider yourself lonely. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve lost touched with some people you used to consider close. It doesn’t matter whether you have trouble finding people to hang out with on weekends. It doesn’t matter whether you’re struggling to make new friends now that you’re older and in a different place in your life. Your value doesn’t changed based on the amount of people who like you.

If you’re unhappy with a certain area of your life, then by all means, you should try to fix it. You should take action. You should make a change. But you should never let your unhappiness convince you that you’re not valuable as a human being.
You can’t allow a single aspect of your life to determine your worth. You have to determine your own worth. You have to look in the mirror and say to yourself: “It doesn’t matter how much money I’m earning. It doesn’t matter what my relationship status is. It doesn’t matter how many friends text me on the weekends. It doesn’t matter how many likes I get on my latest post. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me — because I know what I think of me and I am valuable. I am worthwhile. I am loved.”

The Unspoken Words of Connection

This is a guest post from Titi Adenuga


It’s in the locking of eyes and letting it stay.

It’s in the curving of lips and letting out a smile.

It’s in the nod of heads in agreement or the wave of hands.

It’s in true and genuine admiration of someone or something.

It’s in the first steps, just like we learnt to walk – ‘hi’ ‘hello’

It’s in the affirmation and the reaching out. Most times, as always, someone must take the initiative.

It’s in the ease and flow – there’s sometimes usually no walls here.

It’s in the remembering of names and recalling it a few minutes or seconds after.

It’s in the hugs and kisses and holding of hands.

It’s even in the words we speak and how we say them.

It’s in letting in – sometimes a little deeper than casual.

It’s in the little things and sometimes in the big ones but most importantly, in how we make others feel –even if you just met them or long after they are gone.

It’s in the impressions – that’s not just a social media buzz word; it’s a human code.

It’s in embracing who we are and what makes us uniquely human.
Love & Light,

Footnotes:
A lot of my thoughts and writings recently have been around human connection. I find it interesting and feel it’s very important for people to learn the art of connection. It is in the simplest things, yet they seem difficult because we love to protect our egos and would rather stick our faces in the light of our phones, scrolling and most times, doing absolutely nothing! Even by doing that, I have learnt that we simply just want to connect. I am not exactly extroverted but I truly enjoy the deep and sweet feeling of connecting with people. We all need our communities (physical and virtual) safer and kinder and to have this ideal community, we must all put in an effort to make it happen – HAVE YOU SMILED AT SOMEONE TODAY?