The Piety Of The 21st Century

The world about us is full of heart breaking ordeals, breathtaking advances, blinding promises, ennobling persons of influence, deafening rumors, anti-life technologies and dynamic economies. Likewise, the religious world about us is full of promises of higher places, some true, some untrue. Its full of truths and fallacies. Often times the Christian will find himself spoiled of choice, especially amidst inadequate knowledge or the right experience in matters faith.

In our Christian life, there is this Great War, this time round, not the usual controversy between good and evil, but the war between the spirit and the flesh. In the Old Testament, the history of man begins with Satan prevailing over man, and the result is a deteriorating condition of human kind. In the New Testament, history unfolds with Satan being overcome by Christ at Calvary and man being freed from evil, the chains that had for so long been his nature, and salvation is assured to all those who live the life that Christ did live, all they that believe in Him.

One thing about sin is that it separates man from God- Isaiah 59:2 . Nevertheless, God reconciled us to Himself through Christ, and now calls us to be holy – 1 Peter 1:15 ,16, and even provides the means unto holiness- 2 Peter 1:3 ,4 . It is not sin to be tempted, but to yield to temptation- Hebrews 4:15 . It’s one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall into temptation. In this spiritual versus bodily warfare, we must lean towards the spirit and flee from fleshly desires. When tempted, Christ found solace and strength in the Holy writings and in prayer.
Psalms 119:11 , 1 Thessalonians 5:17.

Segun is just a regular humble guy, who loves God, a born again, does what he could do best to help other people, just a loving fellow. But he has an addiction that drags his soul back to darkness. Every time he tries to resist the sin of the flesh, he falls. Pornography is not an easy addiction to quit on, lonely he tried as much as possible to resist this addiction for years. Whenever he stops watching it, a week or two is back at it. He wonders every time what he can do to stop this act. He detest it, and feels so cold and guilty after watching it. He kneels down to pray for forgiveness and mercy but doubt comes in, thinking God will not answer him. One day he just told God, my life is in your hands, take charge and handle me Lord Jesus. Segun gradually is moving to the light and never feels any condemnation anymore knowing that He his saved by Christ on the cross of Calvary.

What am I trying to say, it’s not only on segun’s addiction to pornography, but other addictions and sin this 21st century has created amongst us. It’s only the grace of God that we are all alive and living. We all battle one sin or the other or one addiction to the other. I am also a work in progress and know my Lord is not done with me yet. We shall overcome!!!

Let none of us think that we are immune from this particular area of temptation. There is a sinful nature in each one of us which is responsive to this manner of temptation and we need to be on our guard.

One of the reasons why Christian minsters become discredited from office and Christian marriages fall apart is because we think we are secure when we are not. And we walk naively and foolishly into a world which is saturated with sexual imagery and are imperceptibly tainted by what we see and hear.

Proverbs gives us the warning in very powerful way. It is told in the form of a father giving counsel to his son and using the vehicle of a story or parable with effective etching points.

Incidentally, one of the most effective ways of guarding against collapses into this kind of sin is when parents take their responsibility seriously. The most effective warning is from a father to his sons a mother to her daughters. Many a Christian has come through life and said, “I would never have stood up to temptations that faced me when away from home, if it hadn’t been for the example I learned from my parents and the teaching they gave in the home.”

This father begins by reminding his son that it’s not enough just to hear sermons, second he gives him a story telling him why it is people fall and thirdly he drives home the lesson with the need to make three personal applications.

Testimony: Pornography Widow

Am always happy when I get to read testimonies. It’s like a movie, where everything is not real but to some extent it is. I tap from this testimony and sure it will save a marriage out there. 

To my precious sisters in Christ,

I pray that this testimony will help you who are living with a man that has some kind of an addiction that causes him to live a secret life. It doesn’t matter what kind of addiction it is; it is the devastation that is real and unbearable.

Let me share some of my past and see if you can relate. I was raised in a family that didn’t show any affection or love. I knew from a very young age that rejection was a big part of my life. I didn’t understand it then, and to be quite honest with you, I really don’t fully understand it now. Let’s face it – rejection hurts! I know that we all experience rejection throughout our lives, but to get it from all sides all of your life, well –

something is terribly wrong there!

I married my husband in 1965 and his family never received me as one of the family. Why they rejected me I’ll never know. I never understood why, so Terry and I stayed pretty much to ourselves.

We lost our first child; he was four days old when he died. He had bleeding of the brain, a ruptured lung, pneumonia, and the chord was wrapped around his neck three times. (However, we will see him in Heaven. Amen!)

Within a year I was pregnant again. God gave us a little girl named Andrea, in 1967. During our first year, Terry told me he didn’t want to kiss or be affectionate, as he believed that that was an absolute must during courtship, but once we were married, it was not that important anymore. I was shocked! I asked him, “Where in the world did you hear that? “Who told you that?! ” He didn’t have an answer. So now I was rejected by my own husband, and I felt terribly devastated.

God blessed us with a second child in 1970; a boy named Christian. I put all my effort and life into raising my children and giving them as much love and affection as I knew how. I spent all of my time taking care of my family. We were ready to get divorced after ten years of marriage. Our lives were completely out of control. Terry had a pornography problem that he would not talk to me about. I felt so alone and unloved. “God … help me!” was my constant cry.

Then in March 1975 we met Jesus and He saved our marriage. Praise God He did, because I was a blackout drunk for three years and turning to other men because my husband didn’t want me! I couldn’t compete with all the women on the Internet. I was a pretty good looking woman with a nice body and a pretty good lover too. But – it doesn’t matter if you look like Marilyn Monroe; it is impossible to compete with a fantasy! Impossible!

I was delivered and never wanted to drink again or sleep with other men. Our marriage came back together. Although I was delivered and my husband got radically changed, for some reason that pornography demon never left him, and as a result of that, the pornography got worse! 

He got arrested for being lewd in a public place and I didn’t think I wanted to live anymore, but I knew I had my children to take care of so I just prayed 24/7. I prayed so much that I began to think that God was getting tired of hearing from me. My husband was also praying daily for deliverance because he had a private life no one knew about, and he wouldn’t share it with anyone. I had no idea how much his problem was consuming him.

We were in church each week and we looked like a good Christian family. Terry joined a support group in church and each week they would talk about their problems. Each person shared their problems and they all tried to help each other. Terry found out that he was the only one in that group that had sexual problems. Of course, as you know, anything said in that group was supposed to stay in the room.

I tried to get involved with the women’s group, only no matter know many times I offered, no one ever called me. I realized that people believed that I must be the reason Terry had a sexual problem. I wasn’t being a good wife so it was my fault. Only I didn’t have the problem. Terry did! I was a victim!

Precious women of God, listen to me. It is not your fault if your husband has an addiction. I don’t care what kind it is! It is not your fault. And don’t let Satan or anyone else tell you it is! You aren’t putting the drugs in his mouth! You aren’t making him look at porno! You aren’t making him commit adultery! He has his own God-given free will to do whatever he wants. Even if you are not a good wife, it is still his decision to do whatever he wants. He is going to have to grow up and start taking responsibility for his own actions! AMEN!

In 1994 Terry was delivered, and in front of the whole church on a Wednesday night, he told his story about his addiction. I remember afterwards that people went to Terry and hugged him, cried with him and congratulated him and praised God for what He had done.

I found it interesting that not one person in the entire church came up to me and said anything. No hug, nothing. I felt rejection again. I really 

thought that things would be different in our marriage after his deliverance, but Terry still never turned to me. He never learned to walk in his deliverance, so like a dog returns to his vomit, Terry returned to his pornography and as usual I didn’t know about it. He totally hid it from me. But still, there was no affection, and now I know why.

In 1996 I felt a great, great hurt in my heart … and all of a sudden it seemed like a switch was turned off. At that time I lost all hope. I also

lost all my love for my husband. I just couldn’t deal with life anymore. I told him that I didn’t love him anymore, and he asked me how long had it been, and I said about a month at that time. He cried for two days straight. My self-esteem was gone. I felt dead inside.

I continued to pray and seek God and began to heal slowly. We continued to go to church and in 2005 my husband was totally delivered, and is walking in his deliverance. The stronghold has been broken. That spirit of perversion has been cast out. Thank you Jesus! He is a new man. For the first time in our life he is talking to me. He has turned to me and is affectionate, and God is restoring our relationship.

On our 40th anniversary we had a party. We renewed our vows to celebrate our newfound love. A week later he took me to Hawaii, our first honeymoon. We had sex every night for seven days, and for the first time in our life it was intimate. There was closeness…there was oneness…and God was present. Not like before where it was just vaginal masturbation for my husband after looking at other women all day long.

You know – God is good. I feel free from rejection regarding our marriage and it is a wonderful thing. Thank you Jesus! Our lives are getting better and we are for the first time in a real relationship — talking and getting to know one another — all to the glory of God.

Women of God, just continue to seek God and pray. Don’t ever give up hope. Don’t let the enemy steal your life. Trust God for everything. I just want to remind you that God loves you and will not leave you ever. Please, trust Him especially when there seems to be no hope. Let God have all the burden, and don’t forget that you have to receive what He has already given you. We walk by faith, not by sight. ‘Let go and let God’ … is right on and it works.

Dear sisters – I hope that something I’ve said has helped you. If you have no hope as I once had no hope, just remember that Jesus has all the hope you need.

God has provided everything that we need through Jesus. God has done His part. We need to be responsible for what we do, and walk in our deliverance no matter how hard it is. God will not leave us or forsake us ever. We need to be as faithful to God.

I would love to hear from you, if you feel you need someone you can open up to without judging you.

I hope everyone reading this realizes I did not have to share this testimony publicly. I’ve done it because God has asked me to share it publicly, so others can be helped like He has helped my husband and I. Pornography is a growing spiritual virus (sin) in the Body of Christ every bit as deadly as the Aid’s virus, and it’s spreading rapidly, and will continue to do so, because the devil realizes just how effective it is in destroying relationships and self-esteem.

His tactic is to keep Christians silent about it however. Well, God has asked my husband and I to not bury this part of our testimonies … but to let God use them to give courage and transparency and hope to others who know that they need deliverance from something much more powerful than what they ever realized in the beginning.

May God bless you. 

Jesus Did it!!!