Even the people who once fought for others tend to get weak and eventually “give up” and lose interest in the worth of fighting any longer.
Save a life around you!
Spread this message…
Even the people who once fought for others tend to get weak and eventually “give up” and lose interest in the worth of fighting any longer.
Save a life around you!
Spread this message…
“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
Self-doubt can be a troubling and persuasive voice that holds you back.
It holds you back from seizing your opportunities.
It makes getting started or finishing things harder than they need to be.
Sure, it can sometimes be useful as it helps you to soberly see your current limitations or simply recognize a half-baked or bad idea. But mostly, it holds you back in life.
So how can you get around that, how can you overcome those times of self-doubt so that you can move forward once again?
1. Say stop.
First, when your inner doubts bubble up, be quick. Don’t let them spin out of control or grow from a whisper to a stream of discouraging sentences. Instead, talk back to that doubtful part of yourself.
In your mind, say or shout something like: No, no, no, we are not going down that road again.
By doing so you can disrupt the thought pattern and stop that inner self-doubter from taking over.
2. Look to the past and awash yourself in the memories.
Be real with yourself and ask yourself:
How many times when I doubted myself or feared something would happen did that negative thing come into reality after I still took action?
The answer for me – and probably for you too – is not very often at all.
Self-doubts are most often just monsters in your head that your mind may use to keep you from making changes and to keep you within the comfort zone.
If you look to the past and see how well things have gone many times despite those self-doubts then it become easier to let go of them or to ignore them and to focus on the more likely positive outcome and to take action.
3. Talk to someone about it.
When you keep your thoughts on the inside they can become distorted, exaggerated and not very much in line with reality or reasonable expectations.
This is very much true when it comes to self-doubting thoughts.
So let them out into the light. Talk to someone close to you about your self-doubts.
Just letting them out and saying them out loud can often help you to hear how exaggerated these thoughts have become. And by talking about those doubts with someone that is supportive you can get a change in perspective.
4. Don’t get stuck in the comparison trap.
If you compare yourself to other people all too often, to their successes and especially to their high-light reels that they share on social media then self-doubt can quickly creep up.
A better way to go about things is to compare yourself to yourself. To see how far you have come. To see what you’ve overcome.
And to see how you’ve kept going, succeeded and grown as a human being.
5. Start keeping a journal.
Keeping a journal can be a helpful habit for many reasons. When it comes to self-doubts it can help you to:
Leadership is often viewed as rank or position. People tend to associate leadership with high rankings and positions in businesses or even in volunteer settings. The reality of it is, leadership simply means influence. Leadership is one’s level of influence; not their level of authority. It is possible to be in a high rank or position but not truly be a leader; it is called being a manager. I have put together a list of 5 qualities of a manger and 5 qualities of a leader.
1. Managers look out for themselves.
2. Managers consider there advancement to be more important than the advancement of others.
3. Managers will get the job done at the expense of others.
4. Managers understand the importance of giving to themselves.
5. Managers are driving by their own success.
1. Leaders look out for the people they are influencing.
2. Leaders understand that adding value to others is as important as adding value to themselves.
3. Leaders know that trust should be created before an atmosphere of high productivity.
4. Leaders understand the importance of giving to others.
5. Leaders are driven by the success of others.
In your personal and professional life, do you find yourself being more of a manager or a leader? Be honest with yourself. If you have the qualities of a manager, I encourage you to spend time in prayer, ask God to help you develop those qualities into leadership qualities, not just management. It is possible to be in a management position and still become a leader. If you are seeking to grow in your leadership, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
Where is your life taking you; where do you want to go? 2 Peter 1:10 “Therefore, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.”
Your mindset must remain; “Me first then others!“. This sounds contrary to what many believe, but hear me out! You cannot share what you do not know. What are you doing to invest in your personal growth and development? Proverbs 19:20-21 “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
What do you bring to the table when it comes to positively impacting those around you? Philippians 2:4 “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Leadership is measured by influence; and the level of success that you hold is measured through what you do with your influence. Be driven by adding value to the success of others, not your own. Remember, it’s not all about you. Whatever walk of life you are in, use your God given influence (leadership) to better the world around you.
Am using this medium to appreciate Alex Sanfilippo for the support on this piece.
Photo Credit: Femi Otedola
The post title is a quote from Rick Warren’s book – The Purpose Driven Life – which really articulates the importance of having a big picture to press on to. This ties in to my post from last week on pondering how we would want our lives summed up when it’s all said and done. Personally, I want to be remembered as “A man who enjoyed God, enjoyed His many blessings and helped others to do the same.” That’s the big picture for me.
“Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, Wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay” Habakkuk 2: 2-3
In verse 1 of that chapter Habakkuk took a stand on the watch post to hear from God. It’s clear that the big picture comes from seeking God. One key point from Rick’s book is that “knowing purpose (the big picture) reduces stress, simplifies decisions, increases satisfaction and prepares us for eternity”. We need guiding principles/core values to help simplify life decisions. These guiding principles are a natural outflow of the big picture. I see having guiding principles as having a cheat sheet for life, not a replacement for God’s word or dependence on the Holy Spirit, but rather a lens for making decisions. To make this more concrete, here are the guiding principles for my family:
C – Every member of the family is CRUCIAL
H – Live in dependence and reliance of the HOLY SPIRIT
O – Remain OUTWARD focused
O – Live OPENHANDED to God and man
S – Seek to STRENGTHEN those around me
E – Take time to ENJOY God’s blessings
As you can see, beyond having a mnemonic to help me remember these principles, I have a framework on which I can decide the important things to invest my time, money, talent and resources on. Do you have such a ‘Christ-centric’ framework on which you determine what you say yes or no to? Are you able to articulate your core values and guiding principles if someone asked you today? Maybe it’s time to spend time on our watch post like Habakkuk and see what God has to say … whatever it is, don’t forget to write it down.
Do you know what your gifts are? Better yet, do you know how to use them? Even better – are you using them? God endows us all with talents that can be used to build His kingdom. You may be wondering what yours are, or if you even have any. Let me assure you that, yes, you have gifts and the Lord wants to use them! You can use your gifts in several facets, both in and outside of the church building.
Unfortunately, there’s a few myths that float around when it comes to using our God-given gifts. Let’s combat them here.
The bible clearly states that each of us has a unique gift. Romans 12:6 says “we have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” The scripture doesn’t stop there, but urges us to actively use these gifts. 1 Peter 4:10-11 says “as each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” The word “serve” in this text means caring for the needs of others as the Lord guides in an active, practical way – literally, “kicking up dust” because one is “on the move.”
1 Corinthians 12:14 says “Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body?” In this scripture, we see firsthand how each gift – no matter what position – is equally valuable. Sometimes we think that “real” gifts are designated for a stage. How wrong that is! Your gift – no matter how visible to others – is without a doubt important to the edification of the church.
If we don’t use our gifts from a foundation of love, they mean nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 says “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging symbol. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” The primary use for our gifts is to serve one another in love. It’s important that we never lose sight of this foundation. God does not give us gifts for us to boast, but for us to wear humility and put our brethren before us.
After reading this, I would urge you to pray to God and ask Him to reveal how he wants to use your gifts. You are called to actively serve and strengthen the body of Christ. We need you – so get moving!
Perhaps you have been involved with a career that no longer inspires you. Or perhaps your marriage feels automatic and lacks passion. Maybe you are facing a major decision like which college major you should choose, or which company should be your employer. Regardless of the situation, the feeling is common across these instances.
We are overwhelmed with a feeling of loss. We no longer know our purpose. Even when we call out for a sign and receive only silence. “God, why don’t you speak to me?” we cry out. We pray, and we ask God to show us the way. Still, we feel alone, helpless.
Psalm 119:105 spoke to me in my darkest hours. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” I spent many years pursuing a goal and ignoring my gifts. I did what others expected of me, often sacrificing my own happiness. Then, I read God’s word with a hopeful heart. Each time I read scripture, I hear God speaking to me, instructing me. He lights the way and it is up to me to follow.
The path might be filled with hills and valleys, but He walks with us. We learn to persevere and to help others along the way. He calls us to love our neighbors, and it is through this love that we will change the world. Our potential is endless. We can move mountains if only we have the courage to step out into the wilderness. God is our shepherd. He will protect us.
How do you find the courage to persevere in the face of failure? I’ve discovered the secret to perseverance in “Finding My Why”…
Do you want to know the secret to deepening your relationship with God? What if I told you that the secret was failure? I have failed. I have failed more than a dozen exams, a handful of classes, and various projects. I’ve failed as a student. I have let people down as a leader. I have failed my friends and family. And I have failed more times than I can count. But, here I am. I am still alive and persevering. I have learned, grown, and seasoned on this audacious adventure.
As a young boy, I was naive and optimistic, driven by a passion and zeal for God at some point. Years later, I am far less naive, cautiously optimistic, and driven by… love for God. As the years’ pass, passion and zeal give way to a stalwart love; A love that is solid in its foundation – you’d have an easier time moving a mountain.
As I reflect on the past years of my walk, I look back at the decisions I’ve made, and I see a lot of decisions for God – sprinkled with some foolish decisions that were against God. This was the path to “Finding My Why”, finding out why I put myself through this, why I subject myself to consistent and un-relinquishing failure. Finding My Why is the best thing that ever happened to me because it made me decide; every failure led to a feeling of emptiness inside of me, and a choice. The choice was simple, what do you want to fill that void with? Do you choose to fill it with God, or do you choose it with superficial things – music, food, beer?
Instead, I chose to leave town to attend and help with a wedding, hoping to find happiness. I came home exhausted and depressed. That was a valuable (and painful) learning experience, and yet to this day, I have not fully learned this lesson. Men are stubborn and prideful like that. Your “Why?” is found when you realize everything you do in this life is to serve God’s master plan. A plan which stretches for thousands of years. Through this daunting trial of life, we constantly have choices. Choices that amount to nearly every problem and every solution in this world. What will you do when you feel empty? Will you pursue God and fill your void with his presence, or will you fill it with other superfluous pleasures?
Look at the way our world works; people mend breakups by going out and “rebounds”. Rather than dealing with father issues, young men assert their masculinity by breaking the hearts of women. To cope with the void, young women everywhere turn to social media for a bit of temporary affirmation. If this is hitting close to home, I’m sorry. Just kidding, I’m not sorry about that. Just know that you are a great person and that the love and grace that God has for you is so much larger, even better than the notebook (which I’ve never seen). No man, woman, or item can ever fill that pit.
When you have to look deep within yourself, when you want to quit, when you feel inadequate, when you give everything, yet you fail. You still choose to listen to worship music, watch a sermon, and read your bible. If you are going through this right now, you are in the process of finding your why. Your why could be spiritual, it could be for your family, it could be the community you serve. Failure is not necessarily a sign that your anointing has left you, it could be a sign that your anointing is upon you. Find your why, dig deep, press into God, and push forward. I leave you with a quote from Teddy Roosevelt, who said it best in a speech he gave called “The Man In The Arena”
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Drop your comments and let’s know what your thoughts are on this post.
After Secondary School..
All your classmates have gone in different directions in the world.
Some have completed universities and are now:
Some are married,
Some have given birth,
Some are still searching and waiting on the Lord.
Some are dead, don’t forget that too.
And others are on the sick bed,
Some are running their higher degrees: Masters, PHD, etc.
Some haven’t even gained admission into the tertiary institution and may NEVER be able to.
Some own companies,
Some are now Directors and major shareholders in global companies.
But how do you feel
When you meet your classmates, and it seems like he/she has accomplished their dreams and you’re not yet close to yours?
So many thoughts run through your mind, right?
First, you think God has not been fair to you.
How about the ones you meet on the street wearing dirty cloths and still struggling for survival ?
Do you get the same thoughts running through your mind?
I guess, NO.
Don’t forget too that some are already dead.
Somehow it feels natural to have that feeling of jealous for those mates who seem better off, but it is really unnecessary.
There is no room for regrets,
We are all different and our paths to greatness are also not the same in distance.
Some might have arrived earlier before you and some after you, but whatever level you find yourself in life,
Please keep trying to break limitations and move further.
Celebrate the success of others, its an indication that yours too shall surely come.
Your friend buys a car now, be happy with him/ her.
Remember when you’ll buy yours,
theirs might not be the latest again.
There’s no permanent champion, but current champion.
Life is not about competition, do not be in a race with anyone; remember, we may seem to be reading the same book but different chapters at different times.
Don’t let the passion in you kill the desire in you, keep it burning.
What you’re passing through today;
Write it down because one day the world would be ready to read it, they’ll become part of your success story.
There’s no height you cannot attain, believe in yourself, define your goals, recognize distractions and don’t stop striving.
Spend time teaching yourself, because those things that mainly take people to the top are the things they devoted their time to develop.
Don’t be intimidated by your friend’s success, the sky is wide enough for birds to fly without touching one another.
Value every little thing that God brings into your life, love God and obey Him.
For with God, all things are possible.
Now to those who are on top Never forget to give a helping hand to those who are down. Because Life is full of uncertainties; the one you pull up today, may be the one to hold your hands and prevent you from falling tomorrow
A piece of advice there, food for thought
Please share, comment and like this to all your friends and let them realize that God has a purpose in their lives.
God bless you.
1. Let Go of the Past
Before you can create a better future, you must let go of the pains in your past. Failing once does not mean you will fail forever. Learn from your history, but don’t let it stand as an obstacle between you and your dreams.
2. Remember Success
Just as important as learning from and overcoming past failure is recalling past success. It doesn’t matter who you are, you have succeeded at something at sometime in your past. Don’t gloss over these moments. Use them to remind you that you can in fact achieve your goals.
3. Realize the Possibilities
It’s possible. The dreams you hold in your heart but push to the back of your mind are within your reach. Accept the fact that you can create a better life. This will serve as the springboard of belief you need to succeed.
4. Dream the Big Dream
In order for dreams and desires to inspire you to action and achievement, they need to be big. If you don’t get excited about what you have planned for the future, you will never find the inspiration you need to change your life. Powerful dreams can move the soul, and when you dream the big dream, you will be driven to make the compelling picture a tangible reality.
5. Thinking Your Way to Change
No matter how bad you want it to happen, change will never result from thinking alone – you must take action. The world is swimming in dreamers, but only those who act on their desires achieve truly remarkable results.
6. A Daily Habit to Begin Today
Set aside at least 30 minutes each night to review your day and plan for the next. It’s a simple way to add an element of control to your life. Also, beginning this habit today will help tremendously when you begin to work toward your exciting and inspiring goals and dreams.
7. Mix It Up
The wrong routine can spell certain doom for your goals and dreams. To make sure this doesn’t happen to you, add at least one new step to your daily routine to help break up the pattern. One new activity will set the stage for many more in the future, making it possible for you to break free of any negative routines.
8. A Team Sport
Don’t go at this alone. Achieving a goal or dream requires a team effort. There will be times when you feel like giving up, when you feel like it’s too much to take. One of the surest ways to overcome these small setbacks is to have the support and guidance of your goal partner.
9. Get Excited About What’s to Come
You are on your way to getting everything you have ever wanted! Now is the time to get excited and inspired about what your future holds. Imagine living your ideal life – now make it happen!
10. Raise Your Standards
It’s time to raise your standards. It’s time to expect more out of yourself than anyone else. Accept nothing less than your absolute best in all that you do and you’ll have no problem creating your ideal life. After all, you’d expect nothing less than living the life of your dreams.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be – a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger – but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.
If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.
Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.
Learn a lesson in life each day that you live!
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.
Think About it? Was it worth it?
Thinking or Planning
I don’t know if you’ve ever agreed to help someone with a project who desperately needed your help but who hadn’t done one thing to be prepared? How frustrating. You would probably be no different than I was – not to be ready is all part of planning and preparation.
Some people assume, falsely, that just thinking about a project is not actually planning unless there are steps laid out as in the form of a plan. A plan means that you have not only thought about the project but that you have a list of steps that must be followed in order to accomplish the task at hand.
Helping A Friend Who Seemed To Only Think
I was recently asked to help a friend complete an outdoor deck. The first part of this project meant that we would have to tear the old one down, or, repair it before we could extend it. The project wasn’t that difficult so I was happy to be of assistance. Since I was over some thirty miles away, and didn’t have all day to spend at the site, I had let it be known that I would be there at a specific time and that we needed to get started right away.
But, when I arrived at the stipulated time armed with all the tools I would need, I found him sitting at the kitchen table eating his breakfast. I at first thought that he had already been around the back to the deck and had all his tools there including his chop saw, sledge hammer, extension cords, pry bars and the wood we would need. I was wrong.
Not only had he not retrieved his tools, he hadn’t even bothered to get the wood I had asked him to. When I asked him why he was not ready when I had told him when I would be there and what we would need, he said that he had thought about it but just didn’t get around to it.
Wow! I was some put off. It is one thing not to know what is needed when you start because you have no familiarity with what is required for a project but it is quite another to know and not to do one thing to get ready.
How To Move Forward
You cannot move forward in any project, or task, career, relationship or changing a habit unless you plan. And, preparation is not the end but only the beginning. Planning is crucial but if you do not take steps over and over again constantly moving the yardsticks forward like a football team, you will not accomplish anything. You cannot wait for someone else to take ownership for your actions – you have to do it yourself. There is no easy way just the right way.
So, how did the project turn out? Great. But, what was learned during the project?
During the course of this project, and with gentle but pointed reminders and coaching, he learned more about planning ahead than actually doing. But, I wasn’t disappointed with this approach because planning to do what comes next is a vital step in reaching any desired end whether that is a goal you have set for yourself or a project or task that you must complete at work.
Each time you prepare from the start to the finish, you can do so by visualizing the complete process in your mind. These visualization skills that you develop can apply from everything like a project at work to doing a home based plumbing job.