Single’ Is A Status, Not An Identity

Hey guys!

Normally I don’t post on relationships but a friend of mine triggered this that made me to share this piece. Being single is not an identity nor being married. It is a status that will eventually change in the course of time.

You are single. And whether that’s because a previous relationship didn’t work out, someone left, you messed up, you haven’t found your person yet, or you’ve never been in anything serious—this is the simple truth about you—you are (gloriously) on your own.

But this is nothing to feel shame about.

Being single is something to celebrate. Because the word does not define you. Because you are in a place where your thoughts, decisions, actions, and choices directly influence and benefit you. Because you are able to pursue whatever makes you happy, excited, passionate, or wild without anything or anyone holding you back. Because you have time, and there’s no need to rush. Because finding someone to love isn’t, and shouldn’t ever be the central focus of your life.

Because when someone looks you in the eye, they don’t see your relationship status as a label of who you are. Because ‘single’ is a description—not an identity.

Sometimes it feels like the world around you is caught up in connections. You look on social media and you’re flooded with images of happy couples, of marriages, of weddings, of beautiful families with babies. You open your mailbox and there’s another invite to so-and-so’s shower. You walk down the street and watch couple after couple canoodle, hand-in-hand.

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with you, if you’re the one who’s messing up every relationship you fall into, if you’re ever going to find real love.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all wondered, doubted, frowned at our reflection in the mirror. We’ve all questioned whether or not we’re the one to blame, worked on ourselves, got back out there, failed and tried and failed and tried again.

The thing is, sometimes we get so wrapped up in where we stand that we forget who and how worthy we are. We’re so focused on what our relationship status is that we forget the importance of just being, and just being who we are—an entity, all on our own.

We worry whether we’re ‘enough,’ whether we’re ‘too much,’ whether we’re on the right path. We worry about when on the timeline of our lives we’ll fall into our special someone, or if they even exist. We worry about how we look to the rest of the world, if we’re making the right decisions, if we’ve already found our person and just don’t recognize him or her.

But all that worrying does nothing but push us away from the positivity that surrounds us. If we’re so consumed with falling short, we’ll never believe we’re worthy of the love that might naturally fall into our laps. If we’re so focused on all the past relationships that have failed, we won’t appreciate a good one. If we can’t let go of our pain, we won’t make room for new people, new experiences, new chances.

The truth is, none of us have this ‘love’ thing figured out. We’re all navigating, all searching, all trying to find someone whose mess mixes with ours and love them, choose them, fight with and for them as we grow. We’re all failing around, trying to learn who we are and can be alongside someone else.

But the most important thing we must remember is that being ‘single,’ is not an identity.

Sure, you can celebrate your singleness. Sure, you can focus on yourself and keep your distance from connections if you’re simply not ready. Sure, you can be a healthy version of selfish. Sure, you can prioritize your own happiness before engaging with someone else.

But don’t allow your relationship status to define who you are and will become.

You are worth far more than a label that limits you. And who you are as a person is not defined by whether or not you’re loved, or loving someone.

As you live your life, as you work, as you chase dreams and desires as you let go of your past and begin again, as you learn to trust, as you smile and laugh and pursue what feels right—don’t forget this simple fact: Your singleness is a status, a moment in time, a description, not a definition.

Rebuilding Our Relationship with God

Originally posted by Joshua Reid.

We all go through seasons in our lives when we have to focus on rebuilding our relationship with God. If this is you, here’s what the Bible tells us to do.

C.S. Lewis once said that “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” How does our relationship with God grow when we stumble?

According to Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV), “5.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

As this scripture says, we are to trust in the Lord with everything we have, acknowledging who He is and He, in turn, will direct our paths.

When we stumble in our relationship with God and acknowledge our transgression against Him, He picks us up again and starts anew, like a child on a bike.

As heirs of God through Jesus Christ, we are called to be set apart from the world around us and renew our minds.

Our relationship with God stems from our obedience to Him and our desire to bring glory to His Name, but can we do this when we are giving into our earthly desires?

Galatians 5:16-17 (NKJV) says, “16. I say then, ‘Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.”

We are called to walk in the Spirit and as such, with the Spirit’s guidance, our relationship with God continues forward.

However, like little children, we sometimes need the Holy Spirit to hold our hand and guide us in the right direction. As Christians, if we want to rebuild our relationship with God, we sometimes have to go back to our child-like mindset of putting our trust into our Heavenly Father.

In the Gospels, Jesus talks about little children in regard to faith and humility and in the Gospel of Matthew, we see this is Matthew 18:4.

So, how do we as Christians learn to rebuild our relationship with God?

Through my own experiences, I’ve come to recognize a couple of lessons about rebuilding my relationship with God.

1). Learning to Humble Myself Before God

James 4:10 (NKJV) says, “10. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

Learning to humble myself before God is not an easy task because of my own desire to do what I please and I’ve noticed how this affects my understanding of God and my relationship with Him.

However, through an understanding of what it means to be humble, I learned to rebuild my relationship with God by trusting Him and humbling myself.

By humbling ourselves before God, we acknowledge that He is the person we should put our focus on.

2). Stopping and Listening for God’s direction

In order for us to rebuild our relationship with God, it requires us to stop and listen for God’s direction.

In life, we can become so busy that we neglect to spend time in God’s Word and cultivating that intimacy with Him that we need for spiritual nourishment.

Psalms 46:10 (NKJV) says, “10. Be Still and Know I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

When we learn to stop and listen to God’s voice, we can understand more about who He is and what He wants from us: to exalt His name among the nations.

3). Cultivating the relationship is Not Easy

As stated before, rebuilding our relationship with God isn’t going to be easy. When we let ourselves become fixated on the desires of the world instead of God, we stumble but we get back up and try again.

When we seek to rebuild our relationship with God, we have to first ask ourselves: Are we rebuilding our relationship with God in order to bring Him glory?

C.S. Lewis stated, “Man is to be understood only in his relationship with God.”

As Christians, we should learn not just from these lessons but from the ones in our own relationship with God.

The understanding of our relationship with God stems from who we are as Christians, even more as human beings. If we are to rebuild our relationship with God, we might have to begin as little children, trusting our Heavenly Father and the Spirit to guide us in the direction He has called for us.

Photo credit: Giphy

This Is An Interesting Story And Lesson For Men

When I started reading this post sent to me on my WhatsApp, I was first confused, but getting towards the end, it made real sense and lesson to be learnt. Please be patient enough to read it.

The metaphor used in this story Is amazing..

(To men) Please take time to ponder. 😕

(To women) Just enjoy the story. 😋

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.

The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was:
*What do women really want?*

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur’s closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified.

She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.

But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur’s question thus:
“What a woman really wants?”

She said, “A woman wants to be in charge of her own life.”

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.

The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.

“Which would you prefer?” She asked him. “BEAUTIFUL during the DAY… OR at NIGHT?”

Lancelot pondered the predicament.

During the day, he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!

OR,

would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?

(If you are a man reading this) What would YOUR choice be?

(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?

And Lancelot’s choice is given below…

BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below!

OKAY?

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now, what is the moral to this

The moral is…

1. There is a ‘witch’ in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is. It’s how a man manages it

2. If you let a woman decide on her own she gives u d best. but if u force her with ur decisions she becomes a witch.

Hmmmm
What do you think ?

So, be careful how you treat a woman, especially your wife; so your prayers may be answered!!!

True or False???

Drop your comments below.

Happy Sunday guys!!!

Give Me Space To Think

Do you ever find your thoughts wandering? Moments where you try to sit with God, when you try to do your due diligence as a Christian and yet the noise and clutter around is too loud. I’ve been having this problem lately. I feel that when I do have a moment of silence to simply sit with God I can’t focus. I am too distracted.

In my defense, my life has gotten very exciting recently. I have an active blog, new things to plan, a great community around me, all of which I’m very thankful for, life feels like it’s moving forward for a moment. Of course, that shouldn’t be a reason to be distracted from my time with God. In fact you’d think that it would draw me closer. The fact is the exact opposite has happened, some months back, my relationship with God has become a sort of “pencil you in when I can” situation, instead of a fully committed daily practice. I gave excuses not to be in His presence.

I can easily see where so many people begin to put God on the back burner. I see why it becomes difficult for people with families and major responsibilities to only go to church on Sunday, or once or twice a month, or even less – once or twice a year, because it’s easy to get distracted by life’s day to day activities. However, I believe it’s truly important to remember who we are talking about here. We are talking about God, creator of the universe.

God is not like us, limited by our own abilities, God is truly capable of giving and fulfilling us with any blessing our hearts could ever long for, but God wants to be involved. God is in the business of relationships, and He will invest in you as much as you invest in Him. God’s love is abundant, his grace unfailing but when it comes to our fulfillment that falls on our shoulders. In moments like these where I feel as though I can’t hear God the way I used to, moments when am in the toilet are my only true moments of uninterrupted prayer, I need to give myself the gentle reminder to go back to my basics. The basics to any interaction, I need to go back to finding the balance in our relationship.

Basics 101:

Communicate. The first steps to any relationship is getting to know them. Talk to God, ask for those reminders of His character to show up in your life. Know what God’s voice sounds like by reading His word. Those after all, are his letters to us. Remember that conversation needs time for response. Allow for moments of silence in between your prayers and God talks, to let God speak back. Allow Him to be present.

Spend time together. Just as you spend time with the people you care about, treat God the same. Dedicate more than an hour each week. Find a spot in the morning to sit or in the evenings to meditate on the day. Find those moments of stillness to allow yourself to be grateful.

Share in the love. God loves us so much. It’s truly overwhelming when you experience it first hand, but a relationship without that returned affection of out poor, is empty. So remember to say it back.

It’s a juggling act balanced between our relationship with God, dedicated time to Him, and real life responsibilities, all of course while remaining humble and grateful to the blessings that we already have. It’s not easy by any means to keep balance, but it’s worth it because a relationship with God is worth it.

I will appreciate if you have any addition to this by commenting.

Have a blessed day!!!

9 Types Of Wives You Must Not Be

This is a sponsored content.

When I got a message, I was expecting nothing like this but it came through. I laughed for a while after going through the write up. But most especially it’s a good lesson and, information for troubled homes. Decided to share this, it might go a long way for couples out there.

1. Chameleon wives: They smile but they don’t mean it. They are pretenders and always right. They kneel to greet pastor but not their husband.

2. Goat wives: They are boxers and fighters. They beat and fight their husband at every little provocation. They are not submissive. They compete leadership with their husband. There cannot be two heads. Any thing with two heads is a monster. A woman should respect the head. Though she can give suggestion, she should not compete with the man as the head of the home.

3. Peacock wives: They are richer than their husband is. They are proud, arrogant, and very stubborn.

4. Mosquito wives: They are party wives; they love pleasure and are very sociable. They have no time for their children. They go for parties always and leave their responsibility to house help.

5. Butterfly wives: They are too fragile; they love to be pampered all the time. A woman should be hardworking and resourceful.

6. Pig wives: They are dustbin wives. They are dirty. Their house is dirty, smelling, and unkempt.

7. Vulture wives: They have zero tolerance for other women talking to their husband. They police their husband and check their handset every minute. They are possessive and jealous and do not trust their husbands.

8. Bull dog wives: They are ready to fight, keep malice with their husbands. They use sex as a weapon to punish their husband.

9. Hawk wives: They pursue joy and pleasure at the detriment of their family. They transfer their functions to their maids and driver. Forgetting that whoever has access to the mind of your children is the trainer of your children. Even if have a cook, serve your husband yourself.

Invest in your marriage. What you put into your marriage is what you will get out of it. Invest your time in your home, in books in research and in Word study.
Know the love language of your spouse and give it to them. It is different for different people. Some it is gift, assisting with house chores, adventures, communication etc.

Deal with your spouse according to knowledge and understanding.

Most Important Thing About Marriage

Uncle Tunde grinned when he saw his daughter, Aduni and the husband Kehinde walked into the house. The old man, was on one of his rare visits to his in-laws. He had to succumb after several pleas from his in-law to move from the confines of Ijebu to Lagos to spend the Easter Holidays. This his in-laws believed he needed to comfort him from the old man’s loneliness after his wife’s demise three months ago.

After dinner that evening, he whispered to his son in law that if they don’t mind, he would love to have a quick word with the couple after the children have gone to bed.

By 9pm, the couple was back to the dinner table to hear what the old man had to say.

He started by asking them a simple question “What is the most important thing in your life Aduni ? She replied, “Daddy, it is the kids oo, they mean everything to me”. He then turned and asked Kehinde , the son in law the same question, he also beaming with pride said :it is the kids of course” they are the reason why I work so hard to ensure they have a better life”

Uncle Tunde replied, well said my children, I don’t mean to intrude on how to run your family, but I believe there is a fundamental error you would need to correct. He said “ I have observed how much you both love your kids and dedicate all your time for them. 

Forgive me if I have eavesdropped a couple of times, but doesn’t all your conversation bother on the kids? The coupled stared sheepishly in admission to the assertion.

He continued, I am a poultry farmer, and the biggest egg supplier in my district. I make my money by the quantity of eggs sold. That said, my priority has always been providing optimal care for the chicken. Because I know that when the chicken are healthy and productive, the eggs will come automatically. If I start to ignore the chicken, the eggs will also suffer.

He pointed to Kehinde and said, “as a husband, the most important person in your life should be your wife and vice versa. It cannot be the kids. They are just   products of the marriage. If you learn to take care of each other very well, your kids would grow up healthy and strong, but if you ignore each other, brace yourself up for dysfunctional kids in the future. The two of you are the foundation of this family. If you suffer any form of crack, the whole house will go down. *So please make time for yourself and treat each other as VIPs and the kids will be just fine*.

This has been the secret of the fruitful union between your mum and I for over 50 years till death took her from me. The old man couldn’t help it but shed tears at this stage. He thanked the couple for their time and excused himself to his room.

I am sure many married couples can identify with this story, where the focus shifts 100% to the kids and barely have time for each other. *They later are amazed they lose the magic connection between them. If care is not taken, those connection needs gets outsourced*, thereby opening up your marriage to all sorts of strange elements.

*Let your kids know and feel that your spouse means the world to you and if you are to choose between them and your spouse, it will always be your spouse*.

Give the kids the love and attention they deserve but not at the expense of each other. *You are the real deal. 

Do have a lovely day!

Photo credit: Google