9 Common Stereotypes When It Comes To Your Lazy, Unproductive Days

This is a guest post.

1. You’re allowed to relax. You don’t want to make a habit out of slacking — but you don’t want to turn into a massive workaholic either. You’re allowed to relax every once in a while. You’re allowed to enjoy yourself. You’re allowed to have a life outside of your career.

2. Stress is dangerous. You don’t want to push yourself to the brink of exhaustion. You don’t want to pile on responsibilities until you’re crushed by your own stress. You have to take care of yourself. You can’t keep pushing your mental health aside in order to focus on your workload. Your mind matters. If you push yourself too far, you won’t get anything done.

3. Productivity doesn’t always mean what you think it means. You might think you’re being unproductive on weekends when you don’t leave the house, but that might not be entirely true. Texting your friends to check in on them is productive. Catching up on reading is productive. Giving yourself a break from your stress, so you don’t end up having a complete meltdown, is productive.

4. You’re not worthless for lounging around all day. How much you accomplish each day doesn’t correlate to your value. It doesn’t make you a better or worse person. You have to stop placing so much emphasis on success. Happiness matters more.

5. It’s okay to say no. You can’t please everyone. You can’t put a million different things on your plate at once. If you aren’t able to help someone with a favor or work extra hours to impress your boss, that’s okay. You’re allowed to say no.

6. You still have plenty of time to reach your goals. You might feel like you’re getting old, like time is running out, like you should have reached your goals by now. But you can’t rush success. You can’t let yourself become too impatient. You still have plenty of time to reach all your goals, plenty of time to make yourself proud.

7. You deserve a reward. Maybe today is going to be a lazy day — but you deserve a lazy day. Think about how hectic yesterday was. Think about how much work you got done last week. Think of how much you’ve accomplished over the course of this year. Don’t you deserve a day off? You’ve done more than you give yourself credit for, more than enough to earn a little me time.

8. You are meant to do more than work, eat, and sleep. You’re meant to have fun. You’re meant to travel, to make friends, to pick up new hobbies, to watch new movies, to explore this universe. Work isn’t supposed to be your entire life. It’s only supposed to be a part of your life.

9. You’re not a machine. You’re human. Not every single day is going to be a productive day. There are times when you’re going to have to let yourself relax and recharge. Otherwise, you’re going to self-destruct. So do yourself a favor and stop blaming yourself for being lazy. Let yourself enjoy it. At least for a little while.

Special thanks to Holly Riordan.

The Truth About Changing Your Life Is That It Is Often Means Doing Less, Not More

The beginning of a self-transformation requires action, but the end of it requires something deeper, something harder, something you’ve probably never realized before.

While doing more will almost always generate results, there’s an untapped, life-changing magic in doing less.

Sometimes, your problems don’t come from what you’re not doing, they come from what you can’t stop doing.

To really change your life, you probably need to consume less. You probably need to learn to use what you have, to take a breath and stop yourself every time you think you need that one new perfect thing that will magically transform you into a new person.

You probably need to spend less. You probably need to reevaluate your patterns and behaviors and refocus on your long-term goals, prioritizing your future comfort over your immediate gratification.

You probably need to engage less, both with people who are not mentally mature and people whom do not have any intention of having a civil discourse with you. This is not because you can’t speak freely, but because having an exchange with someone whose intent is to fight you rather than connect with you will always be a losing situation.

You probably need to change less. When we start out on our healing journey, it’s about uprooting, replanting, and sprouting. But if you’re unhealed beneath the surface, you won’t be able to lay roots without wanting to rip them out again. Healing, you will find, is not about how many times you can start over, it is whether to not you can bloom.

You probably need to care less. When your mind is consumed with trying to master and perfect every single little thing in your life, you get overwhelmed and give up. Instead, you have to focus on the few things that are actually requiring your attention, and then build from there.

You probably need to do less. Not because you shouldn’t be productive, but because you only have so much energy in a day, and when you spend it on things you don’t really care much about, you find yourself constantly exhausted, drained and at your wit’s end.

You probably need to have fewer expectations. Often, we conflate that with having high standards, but they aren’t the same thing. Unrealistic expectations will slowly wreck you, because they require that you achieve perfection immediately. When your expectation is that you should be a natural-born master of whatever you try to do, it becomes really hard to show up and do the work consistently, which is what you actually have to do to achieve mastery.

You probably need to not try so hard. When you try to force people to like you, it usually has the opposite effect. When you try to convince yourself you’re attractive, you usually seem less so. When you are trying to force every outcome in your life, there’s usually a reason they aren’t coming together on their own.

You probably need to give fewer excuses. Not because you’re going to be unkind to yourself, but because the kindest thing you can possibly do is stop avoiding the honest truth about what’s wrong. You cannot keep trying to positive-self-talk your way into thinking you love your life when you do not. When we’re ready to make fewer justifications, it means we’re also ready to make greater change.

The truth about doing less is that it’s going to bring you into stillness. It is going to require you to face that discomfort you’ve been running from head-on.

The truth is that when we first realize we need to change our lives, it is easy to get swept away in the escape fantasy of it all. Everything has to go, and nothing can stay. There’s an addictive quality to starting over, and if you’re not careful, you can confuse it for actually healing.

Truly getting better is learning to be okay where you are, wherever you are. It is actually metabolizing that discomfort for once, listening to it, letting it show you where you are deeply misaligned.

It is to become grounded, to make positive decisions for the long-term, to start breaking those destructive habits that have been fueled by the pain you haven’t quite had a name for all these years.

It is to no longer be controlled by your feelings, but by your ambitions, by your dreams for the future.

When you go about changing your life, sometimes, the most radical shift of all is to do absolutely nothing — and wait for the sun to rise.

Calm Down, You’re Not Falling Behind

Calm down because you’re not falling behind. There’s not some sort of timeline that you’re supposed to be keeping up with as the years pass. There isn’t a place you should be right now.

Maybe your friends have already reached certain career and relationship milestones — but it doesn’t mean you’re behind because you’re still working on those things. Life isn’t a race. You’re not supposed to rush to be the first person to the finish line. Your journey is entirely your own. You shouldn’t be comparing yourself to your old classmates or cousins. You should be focused on yourself because their wins aren’t your losses.

Calm down because you haven’t done anything wrong. Maybe you’ve spent years chasing after the wrong person. Or maybe you’ve spent years majoring in something you’re not interested in pursuing anymore. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean you screwed up. It means you’ve learned more about yourself during these last few years. It means you’re growing into the person you’re meant to be. That’s a good thing.

Calm down because you’re not too old to make a change. As scary as it is to switch career paths or end a long-term relationship, it’s something that happens every single day. You’re allowed to change your mind at any time. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it. You shouldn’t feel like all the years leading up to today were wasted. They brought you to where you are right now.

Calm down because you still have plenty of time to make a name for yourself. You don’t have to reach success in your twenties. Most people are still figuring themselves out at this age. Most people don’t have it all together — even if it looks like they do. Remember, social media can be deceiving. You don’t know the behind the scenes stories. You can’t compare when you don’t know the details — and even if you do know the details, there’s no sense in turning your happiness into a competition.

Calm down because no one is judging you as hard as you’ve been judging yourself. You’re your own worst enemy. Despite what your overthinking is telling you, no one is ashamed of you. No one is disappointed in you. And if they are, that’s too bad. You’ve been trying your best and that’s all you can ever do.

Calm down because dwelling over every little mistake you’ve made in the past isn’t going to help you. You shouldn’t berate yourself over how you should have done better or worked harder or put in more effort. You shouldn’t get too upset over the what-ifs because they’re no longer a possibility. You can’t change what happened yesterday, but you’re in total control of how you act tomorrow, so make sure you push yourself forward instead of dragging yourself backward.

Calm down because you’re doing so much better than you think. You need to give yourself more credit. You need to take a second to look back on where you were years ago and realize how much you’ve evolved. You might not have reached certain milestones yet — but that just means you have something to look forward to in the future!

The First Step To Self-Care Is Actually Giving A Shit About Yourself

Hey guys!I was amazed when I set my eyes on this write up. I have no other choice but to share it with you. It is a guest post from one of my role model and beautiful writer Holly Riordan 🙌🔥Please be patient when reading.

The first step to self-care is deciding you matter. You deserve to feel confident. You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to feel whole.

You have to stop telling yourself that it doesn’t matter what you do with your time because no one cares anyway. At the very least, you have to care. After all, you’re the only one who matters.

If other people aren’t paying attention to you, aren’t supporting you, aren’t loving you, that’s outside of your control. The only thing you can control is our own actions, your own thoughts, your own choices.

The first step to self-care is actually giving a shit. It’s deciding that you care about where your career is headed. You care about whether your friendships are stable. You care about what happens to your heart. You care about whether you get enough exercise that day, whether you eat enough that day, whether you take care of your hygiene that day. You care about yourself.

If you don’t care about yourself, if you continue to believe that you are worthless and aren’t going to make it so there’s no point in even trying, then you’re going to get caught in a self-destructive cycle. You’re never going to take a chance on yourself. You’re going to keep coming up with excuses to stay hidden inside your comfort zone. You’re never going to change.

It’s a pretty simple concept. If you don’t care about yourself, you’re not going to take good care of yourself. You’re going to stop trying. You’re going to let yourself waste away. And you cannot let that happen. You cannot forget your worth. You cannot treat yourself so unkindly.

Maybe you’re unable to love yourself right now because you’re distracted by your flaws. Or maybe you made a mistake you consider unforgivable and can’t stop thinking about the past. Or maybe you’re just in a toxic mindset right now.

If learning to love yourself sounds like too big of a leap from where you are right now, you can start by learning to give a shit about yourself.

You don’t have to love your body yet, but you should give a shit about keeping it clean and healthy. You don’t have to love your job yet, but you should give a shit about whether you’re doing the right thing at work. You don’t have to love your life yet, but you should give a shit about continuing it, strengthening it, bettering it.

It’s not going to be easy to change the way you think. It’s not going to be easy to suddenly start giving a shit about yourself after years of not caring at all — but it might be a little bit easier than suddenly loving yourself unconditionally.

Give a shit about whether you make healthy decisions that day.

Give a shit about whether you compliment yourself that day.

This is a guest post.

How Do You Lead A Simple Life?

We live in such simple times, yet finding happiness is much more complicated.

How can this be, when looking at our everyday lives, we have literally the entire world at our fingertips. We can search how many centimeters are in a mile, how to spell correctly, how to cook; heck there’s even a WikiHow tutorial on how to kiss.

Yet, we aren’t satisfied.

We throw our phones when they crash. We throw a fit when the internet’s down. We flip off the person carefully driving. We groan when the printer’s too slow. We roll our eyes when there is “nothing to eat,” because apples, milk, and cereal don’t count as food. We swerve through traffic. We don’t hold the door open. We don’t thank those who hold the door open for us. We briskly pass past the men in the red aprons that read “Salvation Army” in white stitch: we’re just trying to get our groceries and get the hell home. We snark hellish things, just to get a good laugh from a crowd of people we don’t care about.

Yet, we continue to ask ourselves, “why me?” We desperately search for the answer to this devastating question by drowning ourselves in everything any podcast, book, or youtuber titles as self-care or self-help. We meditate, journal, list five things we’re grateful for daily, read, find new creative outlets to express ourselves, cut out any toxicity in our lives, drown ourselves in work, drink more water, eat healthier, start working out, take days to ourselves to reset. We start to shut out friends once they’ve wronged us and we declare them “toxic” because our self help book told us that’s the only way to grow. We leave our spouses or girlfriends or boyfriends and friends because a podcast said we “deserve better” which translates into not wanting to communicate because we feel a sense of entitlement. If not, then the reason is that they “no longer serve a purpose.”

Yet, after all this searching, we find ourselves still not happy. We look around us, and we’ve shut out all of our friends, our significant others, and even family. We’re frustrated and confused thinking, “I’m doing everything this book/podcast/youtuber said.”

Imagine if it wasn’t this complicated.

Well, it isn’t. We just have to look. If we focus on the microscopic things, we’ll only set our sights on the negatives. Yet there’s so much to be happy about. We get to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. We get to drink water. We sleep in a bed, under a roof. We’re able to get jobs. We can walk. We can talk. We can communicate. We can see. We can hear. We can drive. You have a phone, tablet, or computer that you can read this article on with internet. Happiness can be found in the simplest things, and it’s when we overlook them that we aren’t happy.

This beautiful post about positivity and happiness in our daily lives is inspired by Jaelyn Decena.

Healing Means The Pain No Longer Controls You Even If You Can’t Forget It 

Healing is a long process and it’s a long journey. There’s no right way to heal and realistically there’s no right way to forget. You don’t have to forget your deepest pain and you shouldn’t. It scarred you but it also changed you. It wounded your soul but it also taught you the art of surviving. The art of choosing to live and fight for your happiness.

Healing means you remember everything but it doesn’t hurt anymore. You look at the people who hurt you and you don’t feel a thing. You look at them and they don’t have that power anymore. They don’t have the power to ruin your day and your life. You’ve overcome their demons and their ghosts. You’ve let their toxicity go. They’re the reason why you understand that you’re better off without some people. They’re the reason why you understand that some people have to go for better people to come along.

Healing means you know that some broken pieces of you will never be the same again but that will never stop you from loving again with all your heart, from believing again after losing all hope, from starting over after hitting rock bottom. Healing means you’re not scared of getting hurt again because you know how to bounce back and you know life will never be free of pain. 

Don’t listen to people who ask you to forget about your problems or your pain or your heartbreak, you can’t just forget something that changed you forever, you can’t just forget someone who meant the world to you, you can’t just forget and you shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on yourself.

Healing means you show off your scars with pride. It means you tell your painful stories with wisdom. It means you forgive yourself for allowing people to hurt you. It means you don’t define yourself by the people who broke your heart. It means speaking softly about yourself instead of blaming yourself for the pain you had to endure.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, it means remembering everything but instead of letting it weigh you down, let it lift you up. You still smile. You still love. You still give. You still believe. The pain won’t stop you from living.

Healing is a reminder that nothing was ever strong enough to break you. 


Guest post from Rania Naim. 🙏🙏🙏

Never Stop Chasing Your Dreams

Never give up because you’re lucky to have something you feel this passionately about pursuing. Some people search their whole lives for meaning, for a purpose, for an outlet that brings them happiness. You’ve already found that thing, which means you’re one step closer to your dreams than most people because you actually know what your dreams are. You know what you want. You just have to go out there and get it.

Never give up because you’re not going to know what you’re capable of achieving unless you keep going. You’re never going to have any idea of how far you would’ve gone if you allow yourself to stop prematurely. Besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you keep chasing after your dreams? You might not reach them? At least, if you’re actively trying, then you have a chance at success. If you give up now, then it’s guaranteed that you’re never going to get where you wish you were. You might as well put the odds in your favor.

Never give up because persistence is even more crucial than talent. You’re not going to achieve all of your dreams in a short amount of time. You’re not going to get rewarded overnight. It’s going to be a long ride. You’re going to have to remain patient. You’re going to have to stay motivated, even when you feel like you’re off your game. You’re going to have to keep trying, even when the world is warning you you’re wasting your time.

Never give up because you’re going to regret it if you give up on your dreams. You’re going to look back on your decision to stop and wish you would have put in a little more effort, a little more time. You don’t want your future self to be pissed at your current self. Do yourself a favor and continue chasing after your dreams. Even if you don’t reach your goals, at least you won’t have to stay up late at night for the rest of your life worrying about the what ifs.

Never give up because you deserve to see your hard work pay off. You deserve to call yourself successful. You deserve to be proud of yourself. Right now, you might be questioning whether you’re good enough, but you cannot allow your insecurities to hold you back. Even once you reach your goal, you’re still going to have doubts. The nagging voice in the back of your mind is never going to go away, so you have to learn to live with it. You have to realize that even though what it’s saying might sound true doesn’t mean it is true.

Never give up because you’re making more progress than you realize. You’re closer to your destination that you would ever imagine. You might not be able to see it now — and if you give up, then you’re never going to see it. You’re never going to know how many more steps you needed to take to reach your dreams. That’s why you have to keep going. You can’t give up on yourself. You can’t let go of your wildest dreams.

A guest post and credit to Holly Riordan.

2 Keys to Get Rid of Strife and Live in Peace

God created us to have relationships. The most important relationship is the one we have with Him through our faith in Christ. And when we have a healthy, personal, intimate connection with God, we can have great relationships with the people in our lives.

It’s God’s will for us to live in peace and harmony with one another. 1 Peter 3:11 (AMP) says we must search for peace [with God, with self, with others] and pursue it eagerly [actively – not merely desiring it].

Having peace with others doesn’t mean we won’t ever disagree, but we must do it respectfully and avoid strife!

The dictionary defines strife as “bickering, arguing, a heated disagreement, or an angry undercurrent.”

Strife is a terrible evil spirit that creates this atmosphere, and it’s one of the greatest threats to the body of Christ. It makes you miserable and causes bickering, arguing—all sorts of things that offend people. You can sense it in the room, but nobody wants to confront it.

Strife is a trap the devil lays to destroy marriages, businesses and even churches.

It’s very important to understand strife, how dangerous it is, and how to stand against it.

The Common Culprits of Strife

Many things can cause strife, but two causes the Bible mentions are jealousy and greed. Proverbs 28:25 says, A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched.

Now, if you truly trust God, I can tell you there’s no need for you to ever be jealous of anybody. If you believe God loves you and has a plan for your life, and if you believe that His timing is always right, there is no need to envy a single person.

People who are greedy—who are never satisfied with what they have and always want more—stir up strife for a couple of reasons.

1. “I want this, I want that…”

Your wants can cause strife, whether it’s for a promotion, a material thing, or even a ministry. Many times people get into “works of the flesh” (trying to achieve things in their own power instead of God’s).

James 4:1 says, What leads to strife (discord and feuds) and how do conflicts…originate among you? Do they not arise from your sensual desires that are ever warring in your bodily members? When you covet what others have, your desires go unfulfilled. (AMPC)

2. “If I only had (fill in the blank) I’d be happy.” Think about this for a moment: How consistently content are you? Are you constantly telling God, “If only I had (this or that) I’d be happy”?

When people are dissatisfied, they tend to cause trouble. Think about how easy it is to be resentful and stir up strife when you don’t get what you want. You can get critical of others real quick, but it’s not other people or circumstances that make you unsatisfied. It is a lack of trust that God will provide what is best for you. (See Psalm 37:4)

Two Ways to Keep Strife Out of Your Life

Consider who you spend your time with. I want to ask you a question: What kind of character do your friends have? Think about the people you eat lunch with at work or those you consider your closest friends. Do they gossip? Are their attitudes generally negative or positive?

Now, we aren’t supposed to cut ourselves off from everybody who isn’t a Christian, and there will be people you need to reach so you can lead them to Christ. But I always tell people, “Make sure you are affecting the people you spend time with instead of letting them infect you.” There’s a big difference.

Guard your heart. You are influenced and become like those you spend time with and what you open your heart to. For example, when I’m around someone who is negative, I guard my heart because you cannot leave the doors of your heart wide open to people who are greedy, jealous, critical or judgmental. If you’re open to that stuff, it’s more likely you will pick up those negative attitudes and mindsets.

Here’s the Bottom Line on Strife

Being greedy, covetous and jealous is actually a very serious sin. Exodus 20:17 says, You shall not covet… It’s not God’s will for us to want what other people have.There’s nothing wrong with thinking of things you want to have one day. But it becomes wrong when you have a bad attitude attached to it.

When you see someone who has something you want, instead of being jealous about what they have, ask God to help you be genuinely happy for them. In the meantime, keep all the strife out of your life and be a blessing wherever you go.

Credit: Joyce Meyer

Despite What You’ve Been Telling Yourself, You Are Valuable

Thank God it’s friday!

Today I have a guest post from Holly Riodan.

It’s dangerous to assume your worth is tied to any one thing, whether that’s your career or your relationship or your friendships. If you get your validation from a single outside source, then your sense of worth is going to rise and drop on a daily basis. Your confidence is going to change based on how well that single area of your life is currently going.

You can’t allow your relationship status to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter whether you’re currently getting over a breakup. It doesn’t matter whether your heart is having trouble healing. It doesn’t matter whether you’re spending your nights in bed alone. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the last one of your friends who is still single. It doesn’t matter whether you thought you would be married with children by now. You value doesn’t change based on whether or not you’re in a relationship.

You can’t allow your social media stats to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter how many comments you get on a selfie. It doesn’t matter how many followers you have. It doesn’t matter how many people have been sliding into your DMs. It doesn’t matter whether anyone has checked your story in the last hour. Your value doesn’t changed based on your popularity on social media.

You can’t allow your career to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter how much money you’re making. It doesn’t matter whether you’re taking longer to achieve your goals than you feel like you should. It doesn’t matter whether your friends seem further ahead than you right now. It doesn’t matter whether you feel like you’re slowly falling behind. You value doesn’t change based on the amount of money in your bank account.

You can’t allow your friendships to determine your worth. It doesn’t matter whether there are certain nights you consider yourself lonely. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve lost touched with some people you used to consider close. It doesn’t matter whether you have trouble finding people to hang out with on weekends. It doesn’t matter whether you’re struggling to make new friends now that you’re older and in a different place in your life. Your value doesn’t changed based on the amount of people who like you.

If you’re unhappy with a certain area of your life, then by all means, you should try to fix it. You should take action. You should make a change. But you should never let your unhappiness convince you that you’re not valuable as a human being.
You can’t allow a single aspect of your life to determine your worth. You have to determine your own worth. You have to look in the mirror and say to yourself: “It doesn’t matter how much money I’m earning. It doesn’t matter what my relationship status is. It doesn’t matter how many friends text me on the weekends. It doesn’t matter how many likes I get on my latest post. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me — because I know what I think of me and I am valuable. I am worthwhile. I am loved.”

Don’t Say Something You Regret Out of Anger

“There once was a little boy who had a very bad temper. His father decided to hand him a bag of nails and said that every time the boy lost his temper, he had to hammer a nail into the fence.

On the first day, the boy hammered 37 nails into that fence.

The boy gradually began to control his temper over the next few weeks, and the number of nails he was hammering into the fence slowly decreased. He discovered it was easier to control his temper than to hammer those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father the news and the father suggested that the boy should now pull out a nail every day he kept his temper under control.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

‘You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.

Lesson

When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.’”

Image credit: Pinterest

Stop Worrying About How Successful Your Friends Are And Focus On Your Own Path 

This is a guest post from Holly Riordan.

Focus on your own path because you’re going to get sidetracked if you pay too much attention to the people surrounding you. You have to pour all of your energy into your own hopes and dreams, your own goals and milestones. If you’re dwelling on how successful a friend’s work came out and how you could never be that good, then you’re taking time away from your own work. You’re giving yourself a reason to procrastinate, a reason to look down on yourself, a reason to give up.

Focus on your own path because bitterness is only going to bring you down. If seeing accomplishments from other people your age only makes you upset, then why are you even bothering to keep track of their successes? To torture yourself? Or are you waiting for them to fail so you can feel better about your own life? Neither of those reasons are productive nor healthy, so stop spending so much time comparing and contrasting your journeys. Your competitor’s success is not your failure. In fact, they’re not even your competitor, so you should stop thinking of them that way. Stop assuming there’s only room for one person’s happiness.

Focus on your own path because you’re never going to know everything another person has gone through in order to reach their goals. You’re only going to get part of the story. You’re going to see their end results — but you’re not going to see all of the work it took them to reach those results. You’re not going to see the tears they cried behind closed doors. You’re not going to see the times when they got into arguments with friends and family because they were so frustrated with themselves. You’re never going to see all of the coffees they’ve drank and all of the failed work they’ve thrown out before the rest of the world could see. You’re never going to know exactly how much effort it took them to reach their dreams.

Focus on your own path because comparing yourself to the people around you is only going to discourage you. It’s only going to boost your insecurities. It’s only going to make you question your worth, your abilities, and your chances of reaching success.

Neil Gaiman, one of the most beautiful authors of our generation, has a quote about writing with your own voice instead of trying to copy the greats like Tolkien. He said: “There will always be people who are better or smarter than you. There are people who are better writers than me, who plot better than I do, but there is no one who can tell a Neil Gaiman story like I can.”

You can apply this advice to every single portion of your life. There’s no point in trying to look like someone else or act like someone else because you’re not that person. You’ll never be that person. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s encouragement to be yourself because you’re the only you that exists. And you’re more beautiful than you realize.

Image credit: Pinterest

No Matter The Circumstances I Go Through, God Is Still Good

Dear God,

I may not understand everything that’s happening in my life right now, but I’m choosing to hold on to the fact that everything has a purpose. I may be overwhelmed with questions as to why certain things are happening in my life, but my faith is not dependent on my feelings. This season of pain and struggle in my life is proof that You are still good and You are with me every step of the way.

I know that I have a lot of questions filled with doubt and fear, and I’m trying my best not to have the urge to control the outcomes of my life. No matter how hard I pray or how hard I try to control outcomes, I know I’ll end up more frustrated because You are the one in control of everything. Despite the fact that everything doesn’t make sense and it’s easy to be overwhelmed with darkness, I know that You are the light I need to get through this season of my life.

God, I am truly sorry for the times when I thought that if I prayed hard enough, you would change the outcome of a situation in my life. I’m truly sorry for thinking that prayer is a form of manipulation when in truth, prayer should be a form of showing You just how much I love you, despite my pain and heartbreak. I am truly sorry for the times when I lost my faith when You refused to answer my prayer. I know that You have a purpose in everything that happens and I will just choose to hold on to You even tighter because of this. Most of all, I’m truly sorry for all the times when I blamed You and cried to You for thinking that You didn’t care about the pain I’m going through. I know You care. In fact, You care so much for us that You made the ultimate sacrifice and let Your son die for us to save us from our sins, and that is the purest form of love.

The truth of the matter is that struggles show us more about our faith than we’ll ever know. I know that despite things not going the way as planned, my faith will continue to have a foundation that is stronger than anything.

My God, you are stronger than every giant and every struggle that I’m ever going to overcome. You are stronger than every feeling of darkness, desperation, hopelessness, and fear. You are stronger than depression, than cancer, than any illness that comes into our lives. You are far greater than everything that is bound to destroy us.

You are the God of outcomes and You are the God of miracles and breakthroughs, and no amount of pain can ever change that.

Thank you Jesus for everything!

Credit and dedicated to: Dorothy Anne Field.

You Are So Much More Than Your Mistakes

Regret is a funny thing. It sticks to us like honey, even after we’ve washed our hands of it. It stays on us like the scent that forever stains your collar. It always comes back like the pesky fly that won’t disappear. But is regret really this relentless? Or are we opening the door of our minds for regret to move into?

We wake up mornings regretting the day or days before. We tread throughout the day as if regret was a chain linked to our ankles. Our heads are down, as we try and pull the weight of our sins. But, my dear, if you were to look up and see the sun you’d realize there are things bigger than your past mistakes.

We go to sleep counting our troubles and praying for better days. But don’t you see that it is up to you to make these days exist? Don’t you see, darling, that when you wake, this is the beginning of the rest of your life? Regret should not wake up on the pillowcase beside you. Leave regret to past where it belongs. Wake up with the conviction that you are better than your past.

Because, truthfully, I have probably forgotten hundreds of mistakes I’ve made in my lifetime. I could not remember what I regretted on a rainy afternoon, like today, 3 years ago. Three years ago I remember the trip I took to the coast of France. Three years ago I remember being hopelessly in love. Three years ago I don’t remember the weight of mistakes we seem to carry voluntarily.

So let go, my dear. As the days go on, it’ll be the momentous moments you scrapbook in your mind. At the end of our days, we won’t look back on midnight regrets, afternoon gaffes, and morning blunders. No, as our days near an end we’ll look back at all we did and hope that we did all we could.

Do you see yet, guys? How when you waste your moments stuck in a puddle of regret you’re missing all the moments you’ll actually want to remember? Let go. Let all the errors drift away. Leave the mistakes in the dust with the rest of your past. Don’t let darkness overshadow the sparkle of your happiness. Because don’t you see yet… there is so much to be happy about.

When you sit in your rut going back and forth between what if’s and what not’s… Leave your mind and enter the world. Enter the world and do something worthwhile. If you worry that you have faltered, then go out and prove yourself wrong. If you feel you’ve lost yourself, then go out and find yourself in the present. There are endless possibilities of wonder waiting for you to capture them.

Leave what you cannot change to memory’s sake. The menial mistakes will fade in time. You’ll probably make more to add to the disappearing list. Make as many as you want, darling. We learn from them. We grow from them. It’s through these very mistakes that we are able to experience the brighter moments with a stronger heart. It’s through these very errors that we find more bliss in the wonderful.

Guest post By Sonya Matejko

Image credit: Pinterest

The Strength In Our Scars

Trace the scars life has left you in. It will remind you that at one point in life, you fought for something you believed in.


You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

You Can’t Avoid Suffering, You Just Pick What You’re Willing To Suffer For

You can’t avoid suffering. You can’t avoid pain. It’s a given and life becomes so much easier when we accept that reality.

The more you care about someone, the more you’ll hurt when they let you down. The more you’re passionate about something, the more heartbroken you will be when you lose it.

Ironically, the things that bring us joy are also the things that bring us pain. The people we love are also the people who break our hearts and that’s the essence of life.

You won’t find something you love given to you freely without an ounce of pain or suffering. The journey to happiness and love is full of suffering and pain. You won’t fall in love with someone until you’ve seen them at their worst, learned how to forgive them and accept their difficulties.

Ultimately, we’re only fooling ourselves when we say that the things we love shouldn’t make us suffer but they do. I love my job but I lose sleep at night when I mess up and I can’t forgive myself for the smallest errors because I actually care about my performance.
I’m more sensitive when I have feelings for someone and more likely to take their actions personally. I love my friends but it hurts when we don’t talk as much or lose touch because of our responsibilities.

While the level of suffering is not the same for each, it’s still suffering but to me, it’s better than suffering at a job I hate or suffering because I’m with someone I don’t adore or suffering because I have no friends. In this case, I’m picking the things and the people I want to suffer for. I’m picking who’s worth my pain. I’m choosing the lesser of two evils.

But to sit there and say you can avoid suffering is one big lie and to expect that the things you love or live for will not make you suffer is also delusional because it’s always the things we love that have the power to hurt us, whether our careers, our friends, our families or our relationships and there’s nothing you could do that would change that.

Essentially, what you should be asking yourself is who’s worth suffering for and what’s worth the pain? Essentially, life is more about picking your battles rather than avoiding them.

Because you can play it safe instead of trying and taking risks and you can try to avoid pain or heartbreak by stopping people from getting too close to hurting you but you also miss out on living your best life when you shelter yourself from the tough experiences that could change your life. You sit on the sidelines watching life pass you by, which is the worst kind of suffering in my opinion.

You suffer more when you choose not to participate in life. You suffer more when you refuse to let the pain make you grow. You suffer more when you shut people out. You suffer more when you lead a lonely and banal life.

This is a guest post.