Why Is Everyone Talking About Success Will Come Slowly?

Why because?

Sometimes, you won’t get the credit you feel like you deserve. Sometimes, you’re going to feel like all the hard work you’ve been putting into a project has been a waste because nobody has been around to pat you on the back or remind you what a good job you’ve been doing.

But you don’t need validation from anyone else in order to feel proud of yourself. Stop waiting around for other people to realize your value and start rewarding yourself. When you accomplish one of your goals, reward yourself with a bottle of wine or freshly baked cookies or your favorite latte from Starbucks. Make sure that, even if the rest of the world can’t see what a good job you’ve been doing, you recognize it yourself.

Sometimes, you’re not going to get the reaction you were hoping for from your friends, family, coworkers, and kids you used to know in high school. Sometimes, you’re not going to impress the people you’ve been hoping to impress. Sometimes, you’re going to live through your successes quietly. That’s why you shouldn’t do anything for the sake of fitting in or looking cool. You should be doing things because they’re what you want to do, because they make you happy, because you can’t imagine having more fun doing anything else.

Sometimes, you’re not going to see all of your hard work pay off in a short amount of time. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait. Sometimes, you’re going to have to stay patient. Some successes take longer than others. You’re not always going to see results overnight. Sometimes, you’re going to have to wait years for your effort to pay off — and that whole time, you’re going to have to keep faith in yourself. You’re going to have to hold onto the hope that you can do this, that you’re going to reach your destination eventually.

Sometimes, you’re to experience jealousy. You’re going to wonder why your friends are so much further ahead in their careers and relationships than you. You’re going to wonder why your bosses give more credit to other workers than you. You’re going to wonder why you haven’t reached your goals yet when other people who have been trying for shorter lengths of time are already ahead of you.

But you can never allow your jealousy to turn into mean-spiritedness. You have to stop thinking of others as your competitors and start thinking of them as your inspirations. You have to be happy for them. You have to remember that their successes are not your failures. Your journey has nothing to do with their journey.

Sometimes, your confidence is going to crash. Sometimes, you’re going to doubt your own abilities. Sometimes, you’re going to flirt with the idea of giving up. But you can never allow yourself to quit on the things that mean the most to you. You have to stay passionate, stay motivated, stay inspired, stay strong. You have to remind yourself you can do this.

When You Start Showing Up Fully In Your Life, You Stop Caring About Who Might Be Better Than You

The way we see other people is often a reflection of how we see ourselves.
In fact, it is our most extreme reactions to other people that are often the most revealing. When we are intensely jealous of someone to the point of hatred, there is usually a reason. When we cannot stop comparing ourselves to someone else, there is usually a reason.

That reason is that there is something about them, or their lives, that we secretly aspire to have.

We might deny it, we might try to hide it, we might villainize them and victimize ourselves in order to feel better about it.

But in the end, when we are totally preoccupied about who is better than us, more attractive than us, more successful than us, or happier than us, it is always because there is a huge, gaping hole within us that we do not yet know how to fill.

We fill it with action.

We fill it by showing up.

We fill it by no longer neglecting our true desires and our deep needs.

We fill it by going after the life we really want.

We fill it by rising to the challenge, adapting to the competition, and becoming the absolute best version of ourselves.

Do you know what happens when you start showing up fully in your own life? You stop caring about who might be better than you.

When you think you look the best you possibly can, you stop caring that someone might look better. When you think you are doing the best you possibly can, you stop caring that someone might do better. When you think you are being the best you possibly can, you stop caring that someone might be better.

That insecurity almost always comes from our subconscious awareness that we are not doing all that we are capable of, and that person is. Instead of pointing out our own fault, we project it onto them, shaming, belittling, or trying to make them seem to be less than what they are.

This is not effective.

This does not do anything but make us seem petty and small.

Throwing shade at someone else’s light does not make you shine brighter, it only reveals the darkness within you.

The truth is that you don’t actually want to be better than other people, you just want to feel like you are enough, and you are never going to feel like you are enough if you aren’t showing up and trying to do what you truly want to do.

Worthiness is both something we are born with, and yet, something we must prove to ourselves over time. Nobody wakes up with profound confidence, it is something they build by getting out into the world and showing themselves that they are capable of what they desire.

The same is true here.

Someone else’s beauty does not make you less beautiful, someone else’s success does not make you less successful, someone else’s well being does not make you less healthy.

There is enough shine for everyone, there is enough success for everyone, there is enough goodness for everyone.

Instead of fighting to have someone else’s taken away, it’s time to start chasing your own.

When you really start showing up as the person you want to be, you’ll never again fear that you aren’t measuring up to someone else’s standard, because you’re measuring up to your own — and that’s all you really want anyway.

This is a guest post from Briana Weist.

7 Basics For Getting Your Life in Shape: Bruce Lee

If you haven’t been living under a rock for the last 30 years I’m pretty sure you know who Bruce Lee was. 😊

If you have, then you may be interested to know that Lee was a very famous martial artist and actor who sparked the first big interest of Chinese martial arts in the West in the 60’s and 70’s.

But besides being an awesome fighter and iconic figure Lee also had some very useful things to say about life.

Here are 7 of my favourite fundamentals from Bruce Lee.

1. What are you really thinking about today?

“As you think, so shall you become.”

Perhaps the most basic statement of how we work. Think about what you are thinking today. What do those thoughts say about you? About your life? And how well do they really match your plans for your life and your image of yourself?

It’s easy to forget about this simple statement in everyday life. It’s easy to be quite incongruent with what you think on an ordinary day compared to how you view yourself and your goals.

A simple external reminder such as a post-it with this quote can be helpful to keep you and your thoughts on the right track.

An brilliant and beautiful expansion on this thought can be found in James Allen’s “As a man thinketh”.

2. Simplify.

“It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

If you want to improve your life then it’s tempting to want to add more. One problem with this may be that you don’t really have the time or energy to do more though. And so your efforts to improve become short-lived.

Adding more and more just creates more stress, worries and anxiety. Removing clutter and activities, tasks and thoughts that are not so important frees up time and energy for you to do more of what you really want to do. And as the clutter in your outer world decreases the clutter in your inner world also has a tendency to decrease.

This has the added benefit of making it easier to actually enjoy whatever you are doing even more while you are doing it.

Adding more thoughts and thinking things over for the 111th time may create a sense of security. It’s also a good way to procrastinate and to avoid taking that leap you know you should take. And the more you think, the harder it gets to act. Perhaps because you want to keep that comforting sense of security and avoid the risk of wrecking that feeling.

Thinking has its place. It can help you plan a somewhat realistic route to your goal and help you avoid future pitfalls. Overthinking is however just a habit that will help you waste a lot of time. It’s more useful to replace that habit with the habit of just doing it.

3. Learn about yourself in interactions.

“To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.”

The one person that is the hardest to get to really know may be yourself. Studying yourself while you are alone may result in some insights. But it’s also likely to produce a lot of made up thought loops and doubts in your mind.

A good way to really learn more about yourself is study yourself in interactions with other people. How people react and act in these interaction can over time teach you a lot. And what you think and how you react can perhaps teach you even more.

What you see, feel and hear in other people may be a reflection of you. The things you learn by thinking this way may not always be pleasant, but they can be enlightening. They help you to see yourself and also how you may be fooling yourself.

And these powerful insights can be very valuable for your personal growth. So, in interactions with others, try asking yourself: what is reflected?

4. Do not divide.

“Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.”

This is a very useful and powerful thought. It is also one that obviously is hard to live by. Why? I believe it’s because the ego loves to divide and find ways to “add more”� to itself. It want’s to feel better than someone else. Or more clever. Or prettier. Or cooler. Or wiser.

How can you overcome this way of thinking and feeling?

To me it seems to boil down to not identifying so much with your thoughts or feelings. That doesn’t mean that you stop thinking or feeling. It just means that you realize – and remember in your everyday life – that the thoughts and emotions are just things flowing through you.

You are not them though.

You are the consciousness observing them.

When you realize and remember this it enables you to control the thoughts and feelings instead of the other way around. It also enables you to not take your thoughts too seriously and actually laugh at them or ignore them when you feel that your ego is acting out. When you are not being so identified these things you become more inclined to include things, thoughts and people instead of excluding them.

This creates a lot of inner and outer freedom and stillness. Instead of fear, a need to divide your world and a search for conflicts.

To learn more about this I would recommend Eckhart Tolle’s books like “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth”.

5. Avoid a dependency on validation from others.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

“Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.”

The ego wants to add because it thinks it’s not enough. One way of doing that is by craving validation from others. We want to feel smart, pretty, successful and so on. And the validation makes you feel good for a while. But soon you need a new fix.

And the problem with being dependent on validation from other people is that you let other people control how you feel. This creates a rollercoaster of emotion in your life.

To find more emotional stability and to take control of how you feel you need to get your validation from to a more consistent source. Yourself. You can replace the expectations and validation of others by setting your own expectations and by validating yourself.

And so you validate yourself by thinking about how awesome you are. You don’t sell yourself short. You appreciate how far you have come and the positive things you have done. You appreciate your own value in the world. You set goals and you achieve those goals. This builds confidence in yourself and in your abilities. These things will help you to build a habit of inner validation.

Now, showing off. Why do we do that? To get validation from others. However, this need for validation often shines through and that is why a thing like bragging seldom works. Instead of seeing the cool and successful person you are trying to project people just see the insecure and needy person looking for validation. And your bragging falls flat.

6. Be proactive.

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”

It’s easy to get locked into a reactive mindset. You just follow along with whatever is happening. You do what the people around you do. You react to whatever is going on.

And so you get lost in your circumstances. This way of thinking doesn’t feel too good. You tend to feel powerless and like you are just drifting along.

A more useful and pleasurable way of living is to be proactive. As Bruce says: to create opportunities despite the circumstances around you. This feels better and provides better results (no matter if that with your blog or business, while dating or when it comes to your health). But on the other hand it’s also more difficult. It’s easier to just drift along in the reactive stream of life.

And if you want to be proactive then you may have to take the lead quite often. And that can be scary.

Still, living proactively is so much more rewarding and exciting.

7. Be you.

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”

Just being yourself is a hard thing to do. You may do it sometimes. And other times you may forget or fall back into old thought patterns. Or you may imitate someone else.

And that comes through too. And it may work.

But I believe that being the real you will work better. Because there the genuine you is shining through. Without incongruency, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness. It’s you to 100%. It’s you with not only your words but you with your voice tonality and body language – which some say is over 90% of communication – on the same wavelength as your words. It’s you coming through on all channels of communication.

So I’m not saying: “yeah man, you should just be yourself because it’s the right thing to do etc”.

I’m saying that I think being your authentic self – the one where you do little dividing, the one that needs little validation from others, the one where your ego is not running the show and trying to get something from someone – will give you better results and more satisfaction in your day to day life because you are in alignment with yourself.

And because people really like genuine and people really like authenticity.

Image credit: Pinterest

Source: Positivity Blog.

The People You Envy Are Not Your Enemies, They Are Your Mentors

This is a guest post.

Envy is a shadow emotion.

It’s the dark side of desire, and it shields itself as so many different things.

We often don’t realize that we’re jealous of someone until it’s boiled over into an anger so hot, we are forced to stop and ask ourselves why we are so lost in rage.

We often don’t realize that we’re jealous of someone because the people we are jealous of often aren’t superhuman. There are enough beautiful people in the world that we could envy, but we don’t, because the people whose lives we most deeply covet are the ones that are most similar to our own.

In that is the lesson.

The people we envy are not our enemies, they are our mentors.

They are our mentors because what they are really showing us is what we aren’t allowing ourselves to have.

What they are really showing us is the depth of our desire.

What they are really giving us is clarity.

The people we envy are our mentors because envy itself is an enlightening, guiding emotion. It shows us what we want for ourselves, and think we can’t have. It shows us what we want to pursue, but think we aren’t able. It shows us what we want to have, but assume we don’t deserve.

When we someone who has what we really want, instead of reconciling our own desire, we try to suppress them as well.

We try to humanize and villianize them. We try to find fault wherever we can. Instead of allowing their lives to be proof that what we want is possible, we instead deny that they could possibly have achieved that which we are so convinced we ourselves could never have.

Instead of recognizing that our envy is showing us the places in which we want to grow, we displace the feeling, and blame someone else instead.

You do not want the exact life that someone else has.

You want whatever it is they are giving themselves permission to have, to feel, and to pursue.

Maybe you see someone else in a relationship. It’s not that you want to be with their exact partner, it’s that you also want to put yourself out there and find someone who matters to you. Maybe you see someone who is attractive. It’s not that you want to look exactly like them, it’s that you want to feel good about who you are. It’s not that you want exactly what they have, it’s that you want permission.

That’s why we’re more likely to be jealous of our peers than we are a celebrity. We’re more likely to envy the people just close enough to us than the people far away — even if those people are the ones who have far more than we could ever imagine.

We don’t covet it because what we envy are the lives that are ever so slightly elevated from our own. They’re just out of reach, but not so impossibly far away that they seem unrealistic.

That’s the thing about envy: underneath it all, the thing we most deeply desire is also the thing that we know, at some level, we are capable of having.

What we want is not to suppress someone else’s joy.

What we want is not to take away someone else’s success.

What we want is not to deny someone else’s love.

What we want is to allow ourselves to pursue what we know is within our reach.

What we want is to allow that envy to show us exactly what we want, and then to dissolve the limiting beliefs that are preventing us from having it.

When we envy someone, we are actually getting a lesson in our own desires.

Source: Brianna Weist

11 Powerful Affirmations To Use Daily

Affirmations are a great way to prime our minds for success, repeating positive affirmations daily can have a profound effect on the way we see ourselves and the world around us. Starting the day with positive affirmations can help us to set the tone for anything we want to achieve thereafter.

  1. I am worthy of what I seek.
  2. I am capable of greatness.
  3. I am good enough.
  4. I am worthy of love.
  5. I am grateful to be alive today.
  6. I can have anything I desire.
  7. I am worthy of a loving relationship.
  8. I see myself with unconditional positive regard.
  9. I am in the process of manifesting my dream life.
  10. I refuse to settle for anything less than my true worth.
  11. I am grateful for the people I surround myself with.

Be positive with a sound vibe!

Never Let One Failure From The Past Hold You Back In The Future

Hey guys!

On the blog today is another motivational story for someone out there.

We start this year with a positive vibe.

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. ‘Well,’ trainer said, ‘when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.’

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

LESSON:

It doesn’t matter how far or long you’ve been in the stalked in chains. It is time to break loose and move further.

This year will be different filled with breakthrough and blessings coming your way.
NB:

But first things first, make sure you give your life to Christ.

Very important!

5 Tips for Conquering Negativity When Starting Your Own Business

Guest post from Katelyn Marie

Imagine this. It has been raining for so long, but you want to take a walk and meet your friend who lives a house down. The only problem is that you live on a dirt road. There are no sidewalks or paved walking paths to be found.

So, you decide to walk on the dirt road. As you take the first few steps forward the mud is so thick you can feel the suction on your shoes as they are nearly pulled off of your feet. You’re scared of the step you just took and want to turn around, but you realize that you really want to see your friend.

You push on only to slip and go sideways. You catch yourself and learn from your mistake. Pretty soon you’re walking at a good clip, but you don’t see the stick in your way and trip over it, falling down completely.

Managing to get back up, you notice you’re covered in the filth and dirt. The mud is fresh in your mouth; it tastes disgusting. You won’t be able to wash off until later, but you wipe off as much as you can.

You start to wonder when you’ll get to your friend’s house. It didn’t seem this far away before.

You think about giving up completely, but you realize that wouldn’t be wise. You’re already part way there. You’ve chosen to follow through and if you quit now, you’ll feel cheated. Besides, you want to see your friend.

Finally, you see your friend waving from her porch. She runs forward and embraces you.

“I’ve been waiting,” she says.

Revealing Your Power

  • Now, what if I told you the mud was every negative thought, naysayer, or comment that was holding you back from your dreams?
  • And your friend was success.
  • And that you were carrying a super long hose that could’ve been used to wash yourself clean at any time you chose?

Would you believe me?

When I first started out, I’m not sure I would have.

Right out of college I chose to start my own freelance writing business. That was the scariest decision I’ve made to date. It’s hard and frustrating and sometimes completely baffling. It’s all too easy to get wrapped up in the doubts and negative thinking that can accompany taking a leap of faith.

But success was calling my name. She beckoned me from her porch, called me to keep coming closer, to keep pursuing her.

It’s easy to get stuck in the mud. To fall victim to the thoughts in our own mind and voices of others who doubt our ability to achieve what we are called to. It’s easy to stumble over an obstacle in our path and let it stop us. But we must forge on.

A lot of people have called me brave for starting my own business. While these things do take courage, I think the bravest people are the ones who start working on their goals and keep working to complete them. It takes grit, determination, and bravery.

I didn’t believe it at first, but I do hold the power. And with these five ways to conquer negativity, you can hold the power, too.

Say No to Negativity When Starting Your Own Business – 5 Easy Tips

1. Not Everyone Will Understand—Don’t Expect them To

There will always be well-intentioned people who will try to change your mind. Who will try to convince you to do something safer or easier.

My advice: don’t let them. Stick to your guns and explain why your dream is important to you. If they don’t come around, they aren’t worth your time.

2. True Haters are Probably Jealous

Ever come across a person who has nothing kind to say about your business venture?

It might be their own insecurities talking. You’re doing something they’ve only dreamed about. Remind yourself that it isn’t you and if you can, distance yourself from the negativity.

3. Find Positive Places and People

Whether it’s friends and family or a group on Facebook, surround yourself with like-minded people who share your goals. It’s much easier to reign over doubt if you have people walking with you. Plus, it’s a great way to network and expand your circle of supporters.

4. Success is Measured in More than One Way

Don’t look at your business purely in terms of profit. While that’s the ultimate goal, there is so much you learn with a start-up. You’re gaining life skills that are invaluable. So, when someone tries to measure your success in monetary terms, know that’s not the only way to look at it.

5. View Mistakes as Lessons

When you start this journey and as you continue to walk on it, there will be times when you mess up. Instead of throwing in the hat and telling yourself you aren’t cut out for this, try to see mistakes as learning experiences. Work through the problem and try not to repeat it. Be as gritty as possible.

A Rocky Road is Well Worth It

It isn’t always easy to follow your dreams. Sometimes they seem impossible. We make excuses: now’s not the right time, I don’t have enough money saved, I’m too old for this, I wouldn’t know where to begin.

But the truth is we can make excuses for days. There will never be a “right” time to start. But if it is something you really want, put on your boots and stick your foot into the mud. It’ll be messy, but there’s a good chance it’ll be worth it.

Image credit: Pinterest

Stop Worrying About How Successful Your Friends Are And Focus On Your Own Path 

This is a guest post from Holly Riordan.

Focus on your own path because you’re going to get sidetracked if you pay too much attention to the people surrounding you. You have to pour all of your energy into your own hopes and dreams, your own goals and milestones. If you’re dwelling on how successful a friend’s work came out and how you could never be that good, then you’re taking time away from your own work. You’re giving yourself a reason to procrastinate, a reason to look down on yourself, a reason to give up.

Focus on your own path because bitterness is only going to bring you down. If seeing accomplishments from other people your age only makes you upset, then why are you even bothering to keep track of their successes? To torture yourself? Or are you waiting for them to fail so you can feel better about your own life? Neither of those reasons are productive nor healthy, so stop spending so much time comparing and contrasting your journeys. Your competitor’s success is not your failure. In fact, they’re not even your competitor, so you should stop thinking of them that way. Stop assuming there’s only room for one person’s happiness.

Focus on your own path because you’re never going to know everything another person has gone through in order to reach their goals. You’re only going to get part of the story. You’re going to see their end results — but you’re not going to see all of the work it took them to reach those results. You’re not going to see the tears they cried behind closed doors. You’re not going to see the times when they got into arguments with friends and family because they were so frustrated with themselves. You’re never going to see all of the coffees they’ve drank and all of the failed work they’ve thrown out before the rest of the world could see. You’re never going to know exactly how much effort it took them to reach their dreams.

Focus on your own path because comparing yourself to the people around you is only going to discourage you. It’s only going to boost your insecurities. It’s only going to make you question your worth, your abilities, and your chances of reaching success.

Neil Gaiman, one of the most beautiful authors of our generation, has a quote about writing with your own voice instead of trying to copy the greats like Tolkien. He said: “There will always be people who are better or smarter than you. There are people who are better writers than me, who plot better than I do, but there is no one who can tell a Neil Gaiman story like I can.”

You can apply this advice to every single portion of your life. There’s no point in trying to look like someone else or act like someone else because you’re not that person. You’ll never be that person. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s encouragement to be yourself because you’re the only you that exists. And you’re more beautiful than you realize.

Image credit: Pinterest

What’s Your Greatest Barrier to Change?

This is a guest post by Bernadette Logue

Ever felt like there is something lacking within you or in your circumstances that prevents you from flourishing in your life? It’s common to have times in your life when you feel like there are barriers to the change you want to create.

I am ever the seeker of evidence, so in order to see what was really going on out there among my community of readers and clients I asked the question…

“What do you believe is the single greatest barrier to positive change in your life?”

Below is quick snapshot of the responses:

  • Lack of self-belief and confidence – 40%
  • Unsure where or how to start creating change – 16%
  • Personal circumstances and resources – 15%
  • Lack of time and space to create change – 6%
  • Fear of failure – 6%
  • Fear of judgement and ridicule – 3.5%
  • Lack of support/motivation/inspiration – 3.5%
  • Other (such as ‘a little bit of all these things’, ‘familiarity of current situation is easier than the fear of the unknown’ and ‘uncomfortable being vulnerable/addressing true emotions in order to move forward’) – 10%
The Great Barrier Reef Has a Secret Weapon Against Climate Change

What You Believe Becomes Your Reality

You might have noticed that we worded the question, very purposefully, as “What do you BELIEVE….” in relation to barriers to change. That is because your beliefs are what create the barrier/s. And, you have the ability to shift your beliefs. That’s fab news!

It all comes down to how much you want to shift any limiting beliefs. Because you can, it is just a choice and willingness to look at the limitation and to put in the conscious effort (awareness) to retrain your belief system in a way that better serves you. The result will be an empowered version of self for the rest of your life. The effort is worth it! Think of it like a ritual, not a chore. If people put half the effort into themselves as they do into everything (and everyone) else, they would be astounded at the change that results.

A core reason many people don’t put that effort into themselves, is that they don’t put themselves first in their life. They come last after everything and everyone else. It’s time to drench yourself with love and to realise that you are the centre of your life experience, everything stems from you and the best thing you can do for everyone around you is to care for and love yourself (like during aeroplane safety briefings when they tell you to fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others!)

Shifting Yourself – Dissolving Barriers

From your commitment to change, and from your self-belief, stems the endless possibilities available to you. Nothing and no one can tell you what to believe, what to think, how to feel or what to do. You and you alone create your life. You and you alone perceive what stands in your way. You and you alone create or break down the barriers that appear before you. It’s all about lifting your awareness, using your consciousness to your advantage, and starting to make choices moment by moment that will propel you upwards.

So now you might be thinking… “Well, yes I believe that I have barriers to change, and I want to change those beliefs so that those barriers don’t block me any more. But, how the heck do I shift my beliefs?”

I’d love to work with you if you are ready for creating transformation in your personal and professional life, using my simple but powerfully effective techniques and Unleash Your Life coaching method… for rewiring you for inner peace, freedom and success. Get in touch with me directly if you are ready to leave the baggage behind and lift into the next level of your evolution.

For more guides and information about this post. BERNADETTE LOGUE from the Daily Positive.

15 Things That I Let Go to Get Massive Success and Happiness in Life

If you met me 10 years ago, you’d think me ambitious, singled-minded, opinionated, self-righteous and very adamant about living life my way because that was the one and only path to success , quite obviously!

If we became really good friends though, you would see that I am forever searching for something else, an answer, a discovery, a shortcut to the end to make sure this is indeed the way. You would see that I am not half as confident despite my great level of success, which I so proudly defended.

You may even surmise that I am not happy and on many levels, you would not be far from the truth.

It took me a long time and a lot of courage to swallow my pride and shove my ego over the edge of a cliff so I could admit the truth to myself that I was not happy because that meant one thing: I am also not successful.

How can one exist without the other? Success has got to include the happiness element or what good is it and happiness in and of itself is pure success, no matter what your “accomplishments in life”.

The turning point in life happens when pain and misery become too heavy a burden to carry. That is when you begin your journey home. Sure, it would be nice if we were all proactively planning our careers five years in advance of ever becoming miserable, but we are human beings, not perfectly programmed little robots.

We falter, we err, we fall short, we hurt (ourselves and others), we make mistakes, we take the wrong path, we say the stupid thing, we choose the wrong partner, we miss out on love, we pick the unsuitable career, and we even lose the will to keep going at times. We also learn and turn it around and bring miracles to life.

But do not ever identify WHO you are entirely with WHAT you accomplish. That keeps your ego in check on both fronts, massive success and massive failure.

Failure is an event, not a person. ~Zig Ziglar

Here are 15 things that I let go to get massive success and happiness in life and business:

1. I let go of the obsession to be right all the time:

I don’t want to be right all the time Iwant to be wrong so I can learn. I want to not know the answers so I can grow, and I am okay with saying, “I don’t know but I can find out!”

2. I let go of the reluctance to apologize with sincerity:

It is no fun to apologize for being wrong but it’s pure hell to apologize when the other person is wrong. Sometimes it needs to be done and you even need to continue the relationship onward nonetheless. What did Nike say? Just Do It!

3. I let go of the obligation to read stuff that doesn’t light me up:

I couldn’t stand reading presentations, engineering magazines, and corporate-lingo-filled business books. Enough! Now I read whatever my heart desires. My lust is with the classics, memoirs and epic fantasy fiction ( A Song of Ice & Fire is my chosen obsession now). Ironic side-effect: Fiction fuels my creativity and helps my business.

4. I let go of the pursuit of friendship for the sake of friendship:

The idea that I did not have a lot of friends bothered me ever since the first day I stepped into an American high school and it only left just a few years ago. Friendship needs to fill your heart with love and joy. If you are not getting that, ditch your friends and get new ones.
5. I let go of the permission to pursue my radical crazy dream:
It’s not that crazy and you are not that radical. Stop the drama and get on with the dream. Over-analysis kills even more dreams than the need for permission.

6. I let go of the guilty feeling for living well and doing what I love:

Ah the guilty! Stop feeling guilty for living well , for being happy, for doing what you love, for making a lot of money, or travel the world every year. Feel joy instead.

7. I let go of the expectation of family and friends to “understand” me:

Do you understand them? Do you have empathy for their situations and viewpoints? Do you know their dreams? Stop putting this enormous and outrageous expectation on others if you ever want to be happy.

8.I let go of the expectation that my spouse needed be perfect:

Perfection is the disease that rots an otherwise happy relationship. Instead, cultivate the desire to improve yourself first and become a role model, not a nag, to your spouse or life partner in return.

9. I let go of the delusion that someone or something will show me the way:

Help is not on the way because you are the help you need in your life, and once you come to terms with that beautiful truth, you shock yourself with your own resourcefulness. It gets that good!

10. I let go of the need to control or fix my family, friends, partner:

Want to teach your brother how to argue better? Dying to show your sister-in-law how to treat you better? Well, stop. it’s their problem and their choice to be as they are. Focus on you and let go of control.

11. I let go of the idea that my first career has to be right for a lifetime:

How can you make such a perfect call at 16 or 18 years of age? Let the first one – or the first five – be giant mistakes. Just keep pushing until you find the right career.

12. I let go of the lie that it’s too late to re-invent myself:

It is never too late to start over or toreinvent who you are and to become the person you have always wanted to be. Never.

13. I let go of the excuses that get in the way of my goals:

Stop lathering yourself with excuses. You are not fooling anyone especially yourself. The weight of excuses is heavy. Drop them. Just do what needs to be done!

14. I let go of the envy and jealousy of successful people:

The comparison game has a sad ending and you lose that game every time. Be inspired by the success of others and then mold it into your own path.

15. I let go of the victim mindset that says “pity me!”:

Sure, people will pity and feel bad for you but what does that get you? Let it go. Take on the abundance mindset that promises you the world’s riches starting with your thoughts. Adopt the right thoughts.

Progress Is Not Always Measured By Victories “The Ugly Truth”

Have you ever tried to learn something new and just not had the patience to perfect it? Or maybe started a project, and got tired/distracted and never finished it? Or starting a blog but discouraged because you have no traffic and comments? In the world we live in, it is an immediate satisfaction and very little patience type of society. But to build something sustainable, it takes time and patience. Think about a house…they don’t just appear, it takes time an patience to build something that won’t fall down in the first storm.

When I watch football matches (specifically club football), and the coach is not doing well by winning trophies, then before the end of the season they are fired and a new coach comes in. You have to win NOW. If you make a mistake or have a bad year or two, your opportunity is over, there is very little grace or “mulligans” to use a golf term in that world.

I am glad that our relationship with Jesus Christ isn’t that way. Can you imagine, if God treated us like that? If we made a mistake or had a bad season, then He would just kick us off His team. No, it doesn’t work that way at all, our God is full of grace and patience and wants to build something in us much more long-lasting. It helps that He is GOD and doesn’t require immediate success, He is focused on the process and looks for progress along the way.

Derby County football coach, Frank Lampard , is in a rebuilding process for the team. That’s if he isn’t called by his old club Chelsea. They have had a few bad seasons and in order to re-build it takes time, recruiting, changing of the culture, etc. He wants to win as much as anyone else, but he is able to see the progress within the team outside of just the wins and losses. He said something after a loss the other day that stuck out to me and I think fits very well with many situations.

In other words, you can grow and get better without winning immediately.

Winning will come as a result of progress, but they are not immediately linked together. The catch is, to get to the victories, you have to be patient and stick with the process. If you “jump ship” you will never be around to experience the victories that are in store! Here are some biblical examples…

  • Noah…made progress on the Ark for years without every having proof or rain
  • Moses…made progress on getting God’s people to the Promised Land for 40 years before they actually got there
  • Jesus…made progress on saving us all from our sins, even though Him dying on the cross didn’t look like a “victory”

Again, God is not focused on the here and now. While every second, is important to Him, He is focused on the bigger picture. Be thankful today that our God is full of grace and patience, to allow us to grow into the individuals He has called us to be.

Stay with God’s process in your life, trust His plan, and victories will come…

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9

Photo credit: Pinterest

Doing The Impossible

With God’s help, we can do what seems impossible if we will not be afraid to try.

Some of the world’s most well-known people had a “can do” attitude and they did amazing things. Here are quotes from a few of them:

  • It’s kind of fun to do the impossible – Walt Disney
  • There is nothing impossible to him who will try – Alexander the Great
  • Every noble work is at first impossible – Thomas Carlyle
  • The only place that your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking – Robert H. Schuller
  • We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible – Vince Lombardi
  • The word impossible is not in my dictionary – Napoleon Bonaparte
  • It always seems impossible until it is done – Nelson Mandela
Businessman in free fall

Don’t allow your mind to become a hindrance to the things you can accomplish in life. Think big, as God does! You are going to think something, so why think something little? I believe a lot of people are afraid to think big because they don’t want to be disappointed, but i would rather take a chance on being disappointed occasionally than live a disappointing life because i never tried.

Everything that has never been done is impossible until someone does it, so why can’t it be you?

I never expected my blog to reach a lot of people from different nations, giving them hope and bringing the Kingdom of God close to them. I think i have mentioned this in one of my post before. I used to be an entertainment blogger with lots of traffic and engagement. It was hard for me to delete that blog to start this one. It came to my mind how am going to cope running a motivational blog. It was just a dream now it’s a reality. I haven’t gotten to that point i want to be, but am sure grateful to be impacting lives positively.

Dare to dream and your dreams just might come true! Dream of nothing and you are sure to get everything you failed to dream.

Have bigger hopes, dream big, and think big. Somebody is going to do it, and it may as well be you!

What’s Your Greatest Barrier to Change?

Ever felt like there is something lacking within you or in your circumstances that prevents you from flourishing in your life? It’s common to have times in your life when you feel like there are barriers to the change you want to create.

I am ever the seeker of evidence, so in order to see what was really going on out there among my community of readers and clients I asked the question…

“What do you believe is the single greatest barrier to positive change in your life?”

Below is quick snapshot of the responses:

  • Lack of self-belief and confidence – 40%
  • Unsure where or how to start creating change – 16%
  • Personal circumstances and resources – 15%
  • Lack of time and space to create change – 6%
  • Fear of failure – 6%
  • Fear of judgement and ridicule – 3.5%
  • Lack of support/motivation/inspiration – 3.5%
  • Other (such as ‘a little bit of all these things’, ‘familiarity of current situation is easier than the fear of the unknown’ and ‘uncomfortable being vulnerable/addressing true emotions in order to move forward’) – 10%

What You Believe Becomes Your Reality

You might have noticed that we worded the question, very purposefully, as “What do you BELIEVE….” in relation to barriers to change. That is because your beliefs are what create the barrier/s. And, you have the ability to shift your beliefs. That’s fab news!

It all comes down to how much you want to shift any limiting beliefs. Because you can, it is just a choice and willingness to look at the limitation and to put in the conscious effort (awareness) to retrain your belief system in a way that better serves you. The result will be an empowered version of self for the rest of your life. The effort is worth it! Think of it like a ritual, not a chore. If people put half the effort into themselves as they do into everything (and everyone) else, they would be astounded at the change that results.

A core reason many people don’t put that effort into themselves, is that they don’t put themselves first in their life. They come last after everything and everyone else. It’s time to drench yourself with love and to realise that you are the centre of your life experience, everything stems from you and the best thing you can do for everyone around you is to care for and love yourself (like during aeroplane safety briefings when they tell you to fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others!)

Shifting Yourself – Dissolving Barriers

From your commitment to change, and from your self-belief, stems the endless possibilities available to you. Nothing and no one can tell you what to believe, what to think, how to feel or what to do. You and you alone create your life. You and you alone perceive what stands in your way. You and you alone create or break down the barriers that appear before you. It’s all about lifting your awareness, using your consciousness to your advantage, and starting to make choices moment by moment that will propel you upwards.

So now you might be thinking… “Well, yes I believe that I have barriers to change, and I want to change those beliefs so that those barriers don’t block me any more. But, how the heck do I shift my beliefs?”

I’d love to work with you if you are ready for creating transformation in your personal and professional life, using my simple but powerfully effective techniques and Unleash Your Life coaching method… for rewiring you for inner peace, freedom and success. Get in touch with me directly if you are ready to leave the baggage behind and lift into the next level of your evolution.

Credit: BERNADETTE LOGUE

Is Education Essential For Success?

Good morning guys,

Jeff Bezos -  CEO and Founder, Amazon.com, Successful people, Entrepreneur, Business, #success, #business, #startup, #leadership, #entrepreneur  www.thinkruptor.com

Am sure this is not the first time you have come across this topic.

In an analysis of the members of the Forbes 400, the 400 richest men and women in the world today, researchers found that a person who dropped out of high school and who made it into the Forbes 400 was worth, on average, $1.2 Billion more than those who had completed college or university.


There are a record 2,208 billionaires in the world, according to Forbes’ 2018 rich list

The reason I mention this is because many people feel that if they didn’t get good grades in school they are permanently limited in what they can accomplish later in life. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some of the wealthiest, most successful men and women in the world, did poorly in school.

Remember the question, “How do you eat an elephant?” and the answer, “One bite at a time.” This is the same way that you become absolutely excellent at what you do. You move to the top one step, one skill, one small improvement at a time.

So what is your opinion on this topic today. Is having an education essential to success?

Drop your comments

Ensured Success

Person on the mountain top

“Why am I not successful in what I am doing right now…”
“I’m giving this everything I’ve got but it’s not working…”
“I feel like I have been stuck here forever…”

If you are an individual that has been striving to live a successful life, then you have probably asked yourself similar questions to these along the way in your journey. This is a place that I have been familiar with in my life and it wasn’t until I started asking different questions that I began to receive answers. Once I realized that I was asking the wrong questions, I stopped and asked God what He thought of what I was doing to be successful…

“God, what is your success plan for my life?”

Have you ever stopped to think that what you are doing may not be what God has for you to do? Often we as believers forget that we are no longer our own. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) We may have our own plan and some things that we want to do. However, no matter how good our intentions may be, we need to remember that if we want to be successful in what we do then it needs to be God’s plan for us, not our own. I am not saying that the direction that you are going in is wrong. It may just be that you are focused on your own success and personal gain instead of the bigger picture of the success that God has for you.

Years ago in my personal life, I had a goal to have a certain amount of money in my bank account before being out of my early twenties. I had purchased and paid off a nice sports car, and owned rental property before the age of 21; things were on track and going very well. However, the economy took a very negative turn and messed up my plans. I realize now how unhappy I was through that season of my life, even when things were good; what was keeping me going was my drive to achieve my goals.

Since this time, I have grown up a lot and now understand what it means to follow God’s success plan for my life. Today, I can say to some extent am successful, not because I have that certain amount of money in my bank account, but because I am following God’s plan for my life. The craziest part about this is that the plan isn’t much different than my plan that I had for myself, what changed the most is my motivation and my reasoning for success. Now both of these things are God-focused instead of Alex focused.

As you go through your day, think about the goals you have set for yourself, and then surrender them to God. Know that the success that He has planned for you is far greater than what you have for yourself. Always remember that God will ensure success in accordance with His plan; not our own. Success is obtained by trusting God’s plan and surrendering our own. Success is obtained by trusting God’s plan and surrendering our own.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3